Thursday, September 12, 2013

Best Coast Bias: Upping The Dosage

The in-flight movie was White House Down
.gif Credit: ProWresBlog
When faced with the reality of their virtual monopoly and asked by the intrepid folks over at Grantland who cover these sorts of things what the next step for the WWE is, Triple H said "Disney."

It's entirely possible he meant it as a sarcastic one-liner and scuttlebutt coming from that six-letter monolith has too much inputed to it based on who said it.  But having been to Summerslam with the Total Divas cameras out in Condor Securitian force, seeing little kids with sheep masks and fake beards, not to mention live wrestling surrounded by games and wrestlers alike?  That's probably not a joke.  There may or may not be a hotel, and there will probably be a brick-and-mortar Hall of Fame.  All these will be the side dishes to the main course: somewhere, probably in Florida, where McMahonland will be if not by that name, a viable thing.  You can go on the rollercoaster that is Zack Ryder's push, kids can dive through the gimmicked Spanish announce table of their choice.  Six Flags Over Full Sail, maybe.

Oh, sure, you may laugh, but get back to me at the end of the decade.  There's a reason the word federation got capsized for entertainment in the first place and it's right along the same train of reasoning that only affected a internationally traded multi-million dollar company (or whatever JBL says) to one letter when it came time to inform the NASDAQ.  If you don't believe that, just look at who's putting on their Sunday night reality program.

Tonight's Main Event reminded me of that when it gave me a perfect encapsulation of 21st century entertainment--a serviceable, even good sequel to something I loved.  This is how these things go: the first one makes the big splash, gets all the favorable press, generates all the skrilla--that was the first Cesaro/Kingston match over the United States championship back in May on WWEME.

Kofi looked as good as he ever has and Cesaro is quickly becoming shorthand for a five-star hotel or a Ruth's Chris.  In this?  Well, besides the twenty-five rotations and thirty-six seconds of awesome briefly encapsulated above there was a lot of really good chain wrestling.  Kingston had to fight and try and try again to pull off the Trouble In Paradise.  Cesaro made being the strongest guy under 4 bills on the roster look easy again with things such as a counter into Swiss Death (.5 Zayn) or chaining together the freestyle gutwrench in triplicate.  Even when he can't do things like Neutralize the Great Khali just watch him fire off the definition of an Ice Cubian "eff you because I can" opening dropkick gambit at the bell flooring smaller, weaker opponents.  Whilst I wait about waiting for he and that Sami fella to take me back to Tomorrowland this was a perfectly serviceable copy of that, if not as well-done.

Speaking of well done, will the last person to put Sojourner Truth in the time machine please be kind about the year they put him in?  Big E. Langston beat on him so hard and pretty much without surcease culminating in the FIN I was having NXT flashbacks.  And that was before he stayed on the cover for 5, even if the referee only counted the 3. 

So if Tomorrowland and the price of parking are covered, the fast-rising squadron of O'Neill and Young have to be something.  And that something is a giant pickle, not just because of the gleeful excess and the joy one gets in consuming it, but because that's what they're facing Sunday in the kickoff having to go through Tag Team Turmoil.  Hard enough to beat four other teams under the auspices of a random draw (cough), but for the poor winners the Shield awaits them.  Are they doomed to be this month's Usos, the Marino to the vigilantes' Montana, just more bodies that make the foundation?  It's entirely possible, and not through any fault of their own.  You can say this, however: they're starting to rocket up the ladder of fans' affection without so much as even touching the elephant in the room that's led to this alignment shift.

But in a few months they've gone from jokey afterthought to solidly ensconced and on the radar, the sort of spot that can only be embiggened with a win Sunday.  Right alongside awesome Cesaro performances and heel champions blowing title matches, they are...how do you say...part of this World Wrestling Entertainment.