Saturday, January 18, 2014

Royal Rumble by (Entry) Numbers: 23

Luger's half-win from '94 is one of two competing spots for best No. 23 ever
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Winners: Lex Luger (1994)
Final four: Shawn Michaels (2nd, 2007); Akeem (3rd, 1989); Kama (3rd, 1996); Glenn Jacobs (as Diesel, 3rd, 1997)
Multiple draws: Charles Wright (Kama, 1996; Kama Mustafa, 1998); Glenn Jacobs (Diesel, 1996; Kane, 2009)
Longest: Shawn Michaels (2007); 24:11
Shortest: Hurricane Helms (2002): 0:39.
Most eliminations: Six — Lex Luger (1994)

I perhaps should have explained this in better detail before getting all the way to No. 23, but the only way for me to keep sanity while logging Royal Rumble statistics lo these many years has been to find a way to keep track of performers more so than characters.

This was a problem from the second Rumble, when No. 23 Akeem hit the ring. The same performer, George Gray, entered in the penultimate spot in the inaugural Rumble while still wrestling as the One Man Gang. Factor in Barry Darsow as both Smash and the Repo Man, Tugboat becoming Typhoon and so on, and confusion reigned even early in the 1990s.

Though things got a little more hectic in 1998 when Mick Foley entered the Rumble three times as three different characters, the real turd in the punch bowl was 1997, when Glenn Jacobs, who’d already been in the 1996 Royal Rumble as Isaac Yankem, entered as Diesel — a character already portrayed by another performer. Since we’ve all come to terms with the Fake Diesel and Fake Razor Ramon schtick — and since Kevin Nash has never been in a Rumble under his own name — I simply had to account for all of Glenn Jacobs’ performances regardless character. That’s frustrating because as Kane he’s one of the greatest Rumble participants ever. But I didn’t want to deprive him of the work done in earlier iterations.

That brings us to No. 23, since Glenn Jacobs was “Diesel” that year, lasting 17:49 and finishing third. Despite the fact a WWE.com article tried to give credit to Kevin Nash for this final four appearance, it must be awarded to Jacobs, the first of his five.

(And of course, the muddiest water here between performer and character is the acknowledgement of wrestling as scripted. “Diesel” landing in the final four in 1997 had nothing to do with Jacobs’ athletic prowess and everything to do with narrative, yet I can’t reconcile that knowledge with ascribing those statistics to Nash. So to Jacobs they go, and now he’s one of four men to make five final fours.)

With that out of the way, there is room to give praise to Lex Luger, the only man to win from No. 23. If you read my essay on the 1994 Royal Rumble in the current issue of Atomic Elbow, you already have far too much information and opinion on that matter. But what you don’t have is a declaration of Luger, on account of his co-win and six eliminations, to be the best No. 23 ever. Speaking of peculiarities, Luger gets credit for eliminating Hart, as Hart gets credit for eliminating Luger. That’s another oddity I had to make peace with, but it seemed unfair to strip either man of the achievement.

Only four Rumble winners had six eliminations (five winners had seven or more) and Luger’s 21:58 is good for 12th place on longest ring time of the 27 winners. He’d be bumped down a peg had 2007 No. 23 Shawn Michaels survived the greatest final two collision ever with the Undertaker (he’d also have five eliminations instead of four). Ousting both members of Rated RKO make Michaels the sixth man to dump both members of a tag team in the same match — and it was only the second of three times he’s reached that benchmark. That it happened in the final four is even more impressive. Essentially, the line between Luger and Michaels for best No. 23 is razor thin.

Getting back to Glenn Jacobs, he did almost make the final four from No. 23 as Kane in 2009, lasting 18:21 and eliminating three, but even a legend such as himself was no match for Legay. And speaking of Rumble legends, Steve Austin thrice eliminated No. 23, including two years in a row (1998-1999). That’s something Kane could equal if me makes his way into the 2014 match.

Entering at 23 in 2001, Big Show eliminated Test and K-Kwik before running afoul of the Rock, a total of 83 seconds in the ring, good for 13th all time for shortest stay with at least one elimination and second for shortest stay with multiple eliminations (we’ve covered the leader — Kane dumping four men in 53 seconds in 1999).

On balance, 23 is in the better half, but not the top tier. The five final fours are respectable. Only 13 of 25 men logged an elimination, which is not bad compared to many other spots. Ten spots have produced more total eliminations (23 produced 27). Yet all but seven No. 23s have exceeded five minutes in the ring — in fact the first to fall short was the aforementioned Big Show ring in 2001. One of those who missed was nostalgia act Jesse James, the Road Dogg, who fell short by only 5 seconds in 2012. A remarkable 12 No. 23s lasted 10 minutes or longer.

Also Hornswoggle. But not much more needs to be said about that.

Year
Wrestler
Dur.
Out
El.
Eliminated by
1989
George Gray (Akeem)
0:18:36
28
2
Studd
1990
Tito Santana
0:05:09
21
0
Warrior, Martel
1991
Mr. Perfect
0:16:14
22
1
Smith
1992
Virgil
0:07:29
20
1
Duggan
1993
John Tenta (Earthquake)
0:05:12
22
2
Yokozuna
1994
Lex Luger
0:21:58
-
6
(Co-winner)
1995
Billy Gunn
0:07:25
20
0
Crush, Murdoch
1996
Charles Wright (Kama)
0:15:57
28
1
Diesel
1997
Glenn Jacobs (Diesel)
0:17:49
28
0
B. Hart
1998
Charles Wright (Kama Mustafa)
0:13:58
19
0
Austin
1999
Triple H
0:14:19
25
2
Austin
2000
Bob Holly
0:11:48
22
0
Snow
2001
Big Show
0:01:23
17
2
Rock
2002
Gregory Helms (Hurricane)
0:00:39
21
0
Austin, Triple H
2003
Shelton Benjamin
0:10:55
19
2
Lesnar
2004
Nunzio
0:03:48
22
0
Goldberg
2005
Nelson Frazier (Viscera)
0:03:00
17
0
Cena
2006
Matt Hardy
0:07:42
14
0
Viscera
2007
Shawn Michaels
0:24:11
29
4
Undertaker
2008
Mr. Kennedy
0:13:32
25
1
Batista
2009
Glenn Jacobs (Kane)
0:18:21
24
3
Orton, C. Rhodes, DiBiase Jr.
2010
Mark Henry
0:02:24
21
0
R-Truth
2011
Hornswoggle
0:09:39
24
0
Sheamus
2012
Jesse James
0:04:55
19
0
Barrett
2013
Great Khali
0:03:08
14
0
Kane