Sunday, January 26, 2014

Royal Rumble by (Entry) Numbers: A Recap

Cena's one of four who have multiple "best" spots
Photo Credit: WWE.com
So we’ve gone through all 30 Royal Rumble entry positions, along the way naming the best ever at each slot. Some choices were no-brainers, others were almost down to a coin flip. Of the 30 men listed below, 15 won from the highlighted entry position. They are responsible for a total of 142 eliminations (my system credits 822 total eliminations in the 26 Rumbles).

Four men appear on the list twice — Hulk Hogan, John Cena, Randy Orton and, somewhat sadly, Rob Van Dam. It’s somewhat amazing only five on the list are no longer among the living. It’s far less surprising to see many names in both the “wrestler” column and the “Eliminated by” column, as Rumbles tend to ultimately pair up legends with each other.

If there’s one takeaway from this series, it’s the staggering amount of inconsequential Royal Rumble performances over the years. I could have compiled a list of the worst of the worst, but oftentimes horrible things happen to talented performers as a matter of consequence. Perhaps nothing is better evidence of this than Shawn Michaels’ 12-second showing in 1990.

With the probable exception of Dino Bravo (the best No. 17), no one made the “best of” list accidentally. For these men, their time in the spotlight on a given night was with great intent. Whether to tell a “wire to wire” story to build up an underdog’s stature or to shed light on the dominating presence of a newer face in the crowd, the Royal Rumble each year highlights at least one wrestler and affords the opportunity to create moments that will live in on that hall of fame reel years down the road.

Obviously with 30 spots and 26 Rumbles there would be a few years showing up more than once on the list, though no consideration was given to that component during the analytical process. Yet what is more memorable from the 1990 Rumble than the Hogan-Ultimate Warrior showdown? Fitting they both find a place here. Others, such as the Big Boss Man and Big Show from 2000 show perhaps maybe something more important happened elsewhere on the card that night.

And of course, removing everything from its context is going to lead to such anomalies. Neither Boss Man nor Big Show were the biggest story of that night’s Rumble match (it was either the Rock as winner or his relative, Rikishi, making the first seven eliminations). It’s just the quirkiness of what numbers the men drew and what else happened from those same spots over a quarter of a century.

While breaking down spots 1 through 30, there’s never been a great chance to look at the only men to enter a Rumble from 31 to 40. But let this be said: if there’s ever another 40-man Rumble, it won’t be at all difficult to improve upon just about every performance from the last ten men in the 2011 Rumble. Santino Marella entered 37th, lasted 12:54 and finished second — with no eliminations. Alberto Del Rio entered 38th and won, but his 9:33 is the fourth shortest of any winner, and his two eliminations joins him with Edge and Big John Studd as the least of any winner not named Vince McMahon. Randy Orton entered 39th and made three eliminations in 8:18 to finish third, but that wouldn’t hold a candle to some of the best showings from the penultimate entry spots in every other Rumble.

So as the 2014 Rumble fast approaches, my main hope is this daily series helped introduce and sustain excitement for what reliably is the most entertaining hour of WWE programming each year. As I joked on Twitter recently, my kids are going to have to tell the nursing home staff: “Just put on a Royal Rumble. He'll shut up for a solid hour.” (That said, if one of those orderlies tries to sneak in 1995, I will not be held responsible for walker-induced damages.)

It will be interesting to see if any performance tonight will be strong enough to crack the following list. If you’re keeping score at home, there are several possibilities: spots 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 17 and possibly 20 are fairly low bars to clear. Any of the 15 spots on the list that don’t feature a winner are potentially unseatable, it’s just that it’s easier to eclipse Davey Boy Smith (No. 14, 1991) than The Rock (No. 4, 1998).

Conventional wisdom is nothing will ever top Ric Flair in 1992, from any position. Considering two men have lasted a few minutes longer with six eliminations instead of five, and yet we all still choose Flair (the tiebreaker goes to the guy who won not only the match but also the WWF Title, and don’t sleep on the quality of competition factor) it seems his distinction is safe. Not unassailable, perhaps, but pretty close to out of reach.

That’s enough blabbering from me. As soon as the statistics from this year’s Rumble are finalized I’ll be back with a breakdown of who did what and where it fits historically. There’s very little chance of anyone making a major push up the list of all-time greats simply because the 20 announced entrants haven’t cracked the upper echelon yet. The best-case scenario is for one or two guys to move into the discussion. For now, Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, Kane, Triple H and the like have little to worry about.

Now it’s really enough blabbering. Get the Fink down here to explain the rules and let’s get this party started already!

Year
Wrestler
In
Dur.
Out
#
Eliminated By
2004
Chris Benoit
1
1:01:30
-
6
(Winner)
2006
Rey Mysterio
2
1:02:12
-
6
(Winner)
1992
Ric Flair
3
0:59:26
-
5
(Winner)
1998
Rock
4
0:51:32
28
3
Austin
1997
Steve Austin
5
0:45:07
-
10
(Winner)
2001
Glenn Jacobs (Kane)
6
0:53:46
29
11
Austin
1994
Diesel
7
0:17:41
13
7
Bigelow, Mabel, Holly, Michaels, Crush
2009
Randy Orton
8
0:48:27
-
3
(Winner)
2000
Big Boss Man
9
0:22:47
15
3
Rock
2009
Ted DiBiase Jr.
10
0:45:11
27
1
Triple H
2013
Sheamus
11
0:37:23
28
5
Ryback
2003
Rob Van Dam
12
0:33:56
26
2
Kane
1988
Jim Duggan
13
0:14:43
-
3
(Winner)
1991
Davey Boy Smith
14
0:36:43
26
1
Earthquake, Knobbs
2009
Cody Rhodes
15
0:37:01
28
2
Triple H
2007
Randy Orton
16
0:27:15
27
2
Michaels
1988
Dino Bravo
17
0:08:12
18
2
Gang
1996
Shawn Michaels
18
0:26:09
-
8
(Winner)
2013
John Cena
19
0:26:39
-
4
(Winner)
2006
Rob Van Dam
20
0:23:52
27
3
Mysterio
1990
Ultimate Warrior
21
0:14:29
25
6
Hogan, Barbarian, Rude
2011
John Cena
22
0:34:17
36
7
Miz*
1994
Lex Luger
23
0:21:58
-
6
(Co-winner)
1991
Hulk Hogan
24
0:19:55
-
7
(Winner)
1990
Hulk Hogan
25
0:12:49
-
5
(Winner)
2000
Big Show
26
0:11:12
29
4
Rock
1993
Yokozuna
27
0:14:53
-
7
(Winner)
2005
Batista
28
0:10:54
-
6
(Winner)
2003
Brock Lesnar
29
0:08:59
-
4
(Winner)
2007
Undertaker
30
0:13:15
-
3
(Winner)