Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Best Coast Bias: Where's Your John Cena Now?

Erick checking Luke's math, but Bray knows it's correct
Photo Credit:
Chess has never been the forte of the Bias, but there's some things known to everybody. What pawns are is obvious, but apparently they can change look.

And in the hands of dangerous enough of a cult, they can reform into the reigning Tag Tag Champions.

Where the Usos relied on their familial bond in pre-match chatting up of Renee, Bray's soliloquy before the centerpiece of Main Event stated that if they stood with Cena, they'd fall like he'd fall on Sunday: so far, one for one on that count.

Every time the Wyatt minions go in against the Samoans you can expect quality in your violence, and vice the versa.  In direct opposition to last week's abomination or the little-hit-mostly-miss nature of RAW, WWEME simply put an hour of Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling that saw a majority of its minutes go into full Mike Sanders territory (and unlike Full Ziggler, going Full Sanders is perfectly fine given this context.  Trigger warnings to any Chicken Boos reading this) and it culminated with this non-title match.  While it's unsure if the Kingdom of Bray is going to use this to form the basis for gaining the belts proper or if their message would only be muddled by trinkets, one thing is very, very clear: Mr. Rowan is not the brains of the team.

The match was in the little moments, too: Rowan going into BERZERKER MODE when Jey punched his mask off, the way Harper could rattle off chained underhook suplexes or, say, a dropkick and then suddenly have a 500-yard-stare to the rafters as the ultimate signal of bulbs brightening up a vacant residence, and the way outside of using the full five seconds to pull off some double team maneuvering the brothers acted like they were in for a fight instead of a wrestling match and did work accordingly.  Apparently making jokes about Cena being on Main Event are back on.

Also back on was a match with R-Truth and Damien Sandow, a return bout from last week's traveshamockery beyond the pale.  And maybe that's how some people felt about the chameleonic intellecutal coming out as D-Sizzle and getting in at least a solid .84 on the Regal Mad Skillz scale.  Somehow this latest iteration seemed to be right in the wheelhouse, especially given pro graps' using of white rappers for three decades now and all the Fun Wacky Tag Team Championship Possibilities of putting together two guys on the roster who really don't have much else to do right now besides trade victories every week on Main Event and the like.  There's nothing g g g g gangsta about that at all.  Hashtag Truth Sizzle para la victoria.  Yes boy.

From the ridiculous to the subpar -- the poor, poor  When Evolution isn't using them as piƱatas for their second Shield showdown Sunday they're getting pushed around by AxelBack post match.  And Cody, miles away from his stomping grounds in Marietta, found himself leveraged down after a chop block and his tights in Axel's hand while his shoulders were down for two.  Diamonds form under this much pressure, but they're the exception that proves the rule.  It's one thing to be compared to Barry Horowitz and another to can't see your way to skip your lou towards a victory, especially when you were coasting to victory before your brother got manhandled on the floor.  Yet the Rhodessi (?) aren't the only ones who can't get out from under and found themselves getting whittled away by another L on WWEME.

In this installment of As The Beard Turns, facing future unemployment this Sunday if her husband doesn't relinquish his titles -- the sort of thing Cody himself will tell you one just doesn't come back from when it comes to the Authority -- Brie Bella Danielson went against fellow Total Diva NattieKat and really shone.  The match was mostly contested in a series of hold v. counterhold, and she hung in with the Hart Dungeon grad about point for point and even outshone her on a few occasions.  In the end, Nattie was more focused on the effort at hand and taking on Charlotte for the NXT Women's belt at Takeover imminently while Brie called out something insulting towards Stephanie.  Sister, if you think Cena barely shows up for this'd have a better chance of yelling for Bertha Faye. While Bella had a decent half crab, Nattie had the power and the family Sharpshooter on her side.  It wasn't that she was unfeeling; Brie got a pat on the back from the victory on the way out, but Brie's troubles were clearly that.  It's that sort of cloudy thinking that can lead one to think they can get a Hart family member to tap out without some chicanery involved.

Say this for Main Event: every time they utter bomb on a show (and it happens once or twice a year, how could it not) they always seem to rebound in fine form.

Would that make them the bishop?  The rook?