Friday, June 13, 2014

Dispatches from the Lake: Superstars, or We're Assuming You Don't Watch Raw

More of this, less of the recaps, please
Photo Credit:
I have a question for you, WWE. I’m a regular viewer of your programming. It’s very rare that I miss Raw or one of your special events or whatever you’re calling pay-per-views now. I spend a fair amount of my time watching the Network. I’ve even watched that little ‘This Week in WWE’ show you’ve got on there. As I watched Superstars last night, I couldn’t help but wonder why half this show is recaps. Hell, they had a recap of a recap they showed earlier. At one point, they teased the reveal of a recap. What? I watch Raw. I know what’s going on there. It’s your main show. Why are you cliffhanging a recap?! Why are you showing me the last five minutes of the Raw main event? Again, I watched Raw, and I have to assume that everyone else tuning into your C programming watched it too.

Superstars is hardly the only show that’s guilty of this, but I’ve got to ask. Why does all your programming assume your viewers have a two second memory or don’t pay attention to your other shows?

Why can’t these B and C level shows work to help the overall narrative? Take our first match of the evening. A very enthusiastic Dolph Ziggler wrestling a disinterested Titus O’Neil. It was a fine match, but nothing special. I do really appreciate Ziggler’s ability to get the crowd involved during the match. The man’s always enjoyable. O'Neil had his good points too, but he moves to the center of the ring no matter what kind of move his doing. There’s wasn’t a lot of fluidity, just stepping from one spot to the next. I know these are just dark matches from the beginning of Raw, but give them a purpose.

Same went for Adam Rose and Heath Slater. Perfectly cromulent wrestling match, but give it some weight! These characters seem ready made to feud over something stupid. The party all the time newcomer against the original one man band (RIP 3MB)! Slater invented partying! Let him take Rose to task for doing it wrong! GIVE ME SOMETHING!

Here’s the thing. Why not use your secondary shows to set up feuds for these guys? How would that hurt? How could story and purpose be bad for your shows? Or what about new content that bolsters whatever SUPER IMPORTANT feuds you have on Raw? Cole loves to do those two chair interviews. Throw one together for Superstars! Or here’s a thought: how about another wrestling match? Instead of showing me all the recaps from Raw, throw two other guys into the ring and let ‘em fight for ten!

Random Thoughts
  • Highlight of the Authority recap from Raw? The VERY REAL orthopedist with the spine laying across his bookcase, as if to say ‘What diploma? I have a spine right here, yo! I’m obviously a real back guy!’
  • What was the point of breaking up the Prime Time Players if there were no plans for either of them?
  • I might need a pharaoh hat to party in. Tut looked like he was having a blast out there.
  • I have no idea what the deal is with the guy in the pink bunny suit in the front row during the show, but I have to applaud his commitment to looking like an idiot on TV.