Thursday, August 20, 2015

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 134

The man is a walking hot tag
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

Cesaro bursting into the ring with a whirling dervish of European uppercuts is certainly a sight to behold, and it's easy to get caught up in the moment. He does so many other things well that it's easy to just name him the best at everything he does, but someone in WWE does the hot tag better than he does, and he currently co-holds the Tag Team Championships. Titus O'Neil clears out a ring like a goddamn bulldozer, and he does it while barking and simultaneously giving zero fucks. I give him the slight edge because of his panache and his utter intensity, which plays better to stoke a crowd's cheers than Cesaro's sheer finesse. But either one isn't necessarily a wrong answer.

For reference, the Takeover mix tape can be found here. For what it's worth, I can see Finn Bálor vs. Kevin Owens pushing out the former's match vs. Neville, but not the latter's match against Sami Zayn. Bayley and Sasha Banks can surpass Banks/Lynch in theory, but man, that match from Rival was as close to an all-timer as you can get without a year or more to reflect upon it. Samoa Joe/Baron Corbin feels like it's gonna stink, and I doubt the Apollo Crews debut match is going to be more than just a way to introduce the world to the former Uhaa Nation.

So, that leaves two matches that could crack the tape. The Tag Team Championship match on the tape is the weakest one, so it's always in danger of getting knocked off, but can the Dubstep Cowboys and the Vaudevillains surpass even that low bar? However, Tyler Breeze/Jushin Liger could very well be special enough just for Liger's landfall in WWE to crack the tape. Breeze/Hideo Itami was more than solid, but it's not essential. Breeze/Liger could end up being essential, and I'm sure Itami has another future match in him that could crack the list.

The revised SummerSlam mix tape can be found here. The card this year looks solid, but it doesn't have matches that SCREAM for inclusion on paper. I could argue for Cesaro/Owens making the list if it gets time. The Divas triple threat trios elimination match might be a popcorn spotfest that warrants inclusion. The Shield/Wyatt tag match has an outside shot of making it. But even so, they're all fringe candidates. None of the title matches are in danger of getting thrown out, and I get the feeling Undertaker/Brock Lesnar is going to suck out loud. So I wouldn't look for any inclusions from this year's card, although I could be wrong.

I feel like I've answered this question before, so excuse me if the answers don't exactly line up from last time. However, this theme song is on point:

I feel like I've answered this question before too, so again, apologies if it doesn't add up to the last time I answered it. But I've always had a soft spot for the Big Gold Belt. It's gaudy and gilded, just like a trophy for the best competitor in an ostentatious sport like pro wrestling should be, but it's also not tacky. A perfect combination for a perfect art.

Wait, he was philosophical? Was that between him quipping about the New World Odor and promoing on Louie Spicolli before he was interred into the good earth?

I feel like Ventura as President would be hard to predict. He's good on things like civil liberties, but he's batshit insane on other issues. I feel like he'd spend money on investigating chemtrails or prosecuting George W. Bush for doing 9/11. But he could be good in the way that a Democratic President is good for a Republican Congress (and vice versa) in that a lot of destructive legislation would just get vetoed. Sure, the good stuff would get filtered out too, but I just can't see him agreeing with anything a Republican or Democratic Congress would put on his desk. But the crazy-go-nuts shit would give me too much pause to say a Ventura presidency would be completely good.

Oh Gozer, I fell for this once before. You're not doing it to me again.

When Cesaro first came up onto the main roster, he was dying to have "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred as his theme song. As of right now? Sheamus' theme song seems decent, but he seems like he needs something more aggressive. I'd give him Metallica's "Harvester of Sorrow." The Lucha Dragons have a sedated theme song for what their in-ring style is. I'd switch it to "Cup of Life" by Ricky Martin. Dana Brooke's theme song kinda sucks shit which is weird for a NXT wrestler, so let's throw her "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift, because she has it with the entire division. And since you mentioned Lucha Underground, well, once Season Two kicks up, Matanza Cueto should DEFINITELY use Mr. Bungle's "Everyone I Went to High School with Is Dead," mainly because he probably ate them all for sustenance.

It's hard to quantify because the revenue is all spread out, and honestly, if a company isn't solvent, it's not sticking around. I'm tempted to say yes, because the options are immense, but it all depends on Ring of Honor staying in business despite WWE's assault and Lucha Underground getting a second season. But the indies are pretty hot, WWE is everywhere, New Japan Pro Wrestling is readily available, and AAA is coming north of the Rio Grande. The biz could be booming right now if just for the sheer options available.

Someone on Twitter said that the ladder match should open the show if just to play up the Kevin Owens disrespect angle and throw more fuel on the inevitable Owens/William Regal match. Triple H and his braintrust would be making a BOLD statement by having Sasha Banks and Bayley main event the biggest house in NXT history, but he also let Banks and Charlotte main event the first Philly house show, which was the hard debut of NXT as a touring brand (if the Arnold Classic shows were its soft debut). The women should main event Takeover, but will they? I'll give them a 40% chance, if just because I can't give halfsies odds to WWE to give women the biggest slot in a given brand's history ever to women, no matter how good NXT has been to female cause.