Thursday, September 24, 2015

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 139

Is Reigns the future?
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

The obvious answer is the same guy the office had pegged around WrestleMania this past year. Roman Reigns has size, presence, and core likability when he's not being explicitly scripted by Vince McMahon. He's coming around as a worker, and he's already ahead of the curve on the charity stuff that WWE likes in its big draws. He needs a nudge in direction to become the guy. Big E, Dean Ambrose, a freshly-turned Seth Rollins, or even a healed-up Sami Zayn could also fill that role.

But the real answer is no one is filling that role until McMahon understands what the fuck to do when ratings take a nosedive. For one, low Nielsen ratings don't mean a whole lot, especially comparative to the olden days. They don't take into account Hulu viewers or DVRs. They aren't calculated the same as they were in 1998. They don't take into account the sheer number of wrestling fans now compared to then. And certainly, WWE doesn't have direct competition from a wrestling company. Even so, if McMahon wants to build better ratings, or more accurately, a stronger audience, he needs to book to get guys over. This 50/50 parity booking horseshit where everyone gets their heat back immediately, and where hot acts get their legs cut out once the fans start reacting to them, has got to go. Once that happens, maybe a candidate will better emerge.

The Eagles are 2-13 on the eve of the final game of the season, but incredulously enough, Kelly can keep his job if the Birds win. If they lose, however, Kelly will have to wrestle against Jeff Lurie's mystery opponent in a steel cage match the day after the finale. The Eagles lose in heartbreaking fashion, as the referees mysteriously pick up a blatant pass interference call that would have given the team a free play from the one-yard line down four points. Kelly is put into the cage against the most legendary coach in Eagles history:

Rich Kotite reveals he made the refs pick up the flag so he could get his chance to regain his team. The match is evenly wrestled until the end, when Kelly is about to leave the cage through the door. However, WIP Morning Show host ANGELO CATALDI appears from the crowd and slams it in his face, allowing Kotite to get a roll-up victory. It is revealed that Kotite promised to bring back the old Kelly Green uniforms if Cataldi helped him win. Kelly takes the newly opened Rutgers job, where he beats Penn State every year until he retires, while Kotite leads the Eagles to consecutive 4-12 records before putting Lurie through a flaming table and then cheating to send Roger Goodell away from the NFL in a "Loser Leaves Town" match. Kotite now has consolidated control over the whole NFL... and I have said too much.
I don't know who is behind it, but it stinks. How is 2K going to scan Sasha Banks' body and not only exclude her from the game, especially since the women are the best part of NXT right now and are a major main roster focus? Something stinks here bad, really bad. I usually don't care about video games like this, but leaving those women off and including Alexa Bliss, who is great, don't get me wrong, but is also just coming into her own as a managerial type/wrestler, or fucking Mikey Whipwreck, who again is great but c'mon now, is infuriating.

I was wary of him at first, but at the same time, who better to know what players should go in an innovative system than one of the only people running it? At least that's what I thought before this debacle of a season began. The problem is, however, not really with the players themselves, but their fit in the schemes, especially on defense. You don't take defensive backs like Byron Maxwell who thrived in zone coverage and make them play man. It's one thing for Julio Jones to kill you, because that dude rules, but the non-Dez Bryan Dallas WRs? No way. Imagine the bloodbath when they go up against Odell Beckham, Jr. And the team's own WRs are totally not getting the job done. Watching the other team's wideouts getting open on the reg and then seeing Josh Huff, Nelson Agholor, and Miles Austin get zero separation and then Jordan Matthews drop and drop and drop some more is frustrating.

I think everyone would be singing a different tune if the Eagles had landed Mariota anyway, but if you're going to base your entire worth as a GM on one unlikely move, you are probably not fit to be a NFL GM. And now those moves seem to be affecting him as a coach. The Eagles' tempo is slower, and he's less bold than he was the first two years in the league. Hopefully, those two games are aberrations, and he has something else up his sleeve. But the start to the season has not inspired much hope at all.

I wouldn't rule out Kurt Angle coming in once his TNA contract runs out. He has said he's not interested in returning to WWE, but Angle is a notorious liar. Even if he doesn't wrestle for WWE immediately, he can jabber on the mic or serve as an on-screen mentor for Chad Gable and Jason Jordan.

Think about it. Kane is a Libertarian, meaning he wants total freedom and minimal government involvement in everyday life. What is the total opposite of that? Yep, that's right, Kane is taking his victims to COMMUNIST RUSSIA.

Heh, equating "creativity" with "WWE," at least the main roster, is a stretch. I think Takeover: Brooklyn was always Triple H's jump-off point to test NXT's "big-building" viability. I think he succeeded, and the London show is already getting ticket advances that project the same sort of success. So I'd say the former is planned creativity, and the latter is hoping something works.

It's an intriguing idea that could work, but would it be enough to get people to subscribe, or would it be just an "extra" that is a perk for people who do decide because of something else? I really have no answer for that question. Even if it becomes a set thing that is defended every week, it would take up, what, 20 minutes tops per match? Would 40 minutes of new content a week tacked on top of RAW and Smackdown (and not its own specific brand like NXT) be enough? I tend to say no, but as with new paradigms 'n stuff, no one really knows until they try.

Bless me father for I have sinned: I once wrote fantasy booking that posited Billy Gunn as the new top heel in the WWE. I know, I know, that's bad. Really bad. SUPER BAD. I will flagellate myself in addition to whatever penance I receive.