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| The classic Colony is BACK for this round of Trios Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein |
This year's Trios tournament is the third one since the return, and it features one of the most eclectic lineups in recent memory. Outside of the United Nations, the reunited Colony (the 2011 King of Trios tournament Champions), and the now-whole-again and recently-corrupted Batiri, most of the trios containing Chikara members are pairings with at least one unfamiliar or unusual member. Additionally, the number of all-female teams is drastically increased from any tournament. In short, this tournament is hard to predict and even harder to dismiss on paper.
As it has been for the last three tournaments (2015, '14, and '12), all four events will be held at the Charles Chrin Community Center in Palmer Township, PA. The address one wants to program into his or her GPS unit or smartphone is 4100 Green Pond Road, Easton, PA. The room is generally a gymnasium, but it converts nicely into a wrestling arena, and it is Chikara's home-away-from-home for big events. Tickets are scarce right now, but you can probably still walk up to the door and get general admission, like I'm planning on doing. I assume most people will be commuting from either New York or Philadelphia, whether as residents or arrivals from the airport. If that's the case, you may want to give yourselves 90 minutes to drive and be there at least an hour before doors open. The line will get long, and it will wrap around the building.
Odds are, if you are staying in the area for the weekend, you've already booked a hotel. If not, several reputable chains of varying price have lodging in the area. Hampton Inn, Holiday Inn (and Express!), and Days Inn are all in the area, although I'm not sure how the availability is at any of them. If you're the procrastinating type though, I'm sure you'll find a way there. As for food, Easton and the rest of the Lehigh Valley are not as cosmopolitan as your typical East Coast metropolis, but the area has fine eateries, whether chain or otherwise. If all else fails, you can get some delicious, on-the-go food from Wawa, which is exponentially better than Sheetz.
As for the layout of the weekend on Chikara's end, four events, three shows and a Fan Conclave, will take place over three days. Friday's show will comprise entirely of first round King of Trios matches. This show is for those who want to see everyone who has been announced for the tournament proper, including Cedric Alexander. He will most likely work his first round match, and win or lose, catch a red-eye flight to the West Coast so he can be on time for his first round Pro Wrestling Guerrilla Battle of Los Angeles tournament match on Saturday. Normally, I'd be all hot and bothered over this, but Alexander has a lot of goodbyes to make before he gets absorbed into the NXT (RAW Cruiserweight?) Borg. If Alexander's team does win, then one of the grand traditions of Chikara will come into play, and that is the mystery sorting hat of random competitors. But that team is also facing one of the prohibitive favorites to take the whole thing so who knows.
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| Go to Wawa while you're at it! Photo Credit: Wawa.com |
The evening show will feature four quarterfinal matches in the tournament plus the first of the extracurricular and tangential tournaments taking place, the Rey de Voladores. Its literal translation is "King of Flyers," which gives one an idea of the caliber of wrestler to be seen here. Prior winners include Mark Andrews, Kota Ibushi, 2 Cold Scorpio (the year it happened at National Pro Wrestling Day and not Trios), and Shynron. The tournament layout sees two four-person elimination semifinal matches on night two with the winners going on to night three to battle for the crown. Additionally, night two has at least one if not two special attraction matches going on. In the past, those matches have included Juan Francisco de Coronado vs. Rockstar Spud, Eddie Kingston vs. Christopher Daniels, and Archibald Peck vs. Colt Cabana.
The final night is where things get tied up. King of Trios is concluded with the semifinal and final matches, Rey de Voladores' final occurs, and the annual Tag Team Gauntlet happens with points in play*. Additionally, some more special attraction matches will undoubtedly be presented. The banner year for those types of bouts happened in 2011, when Manami Toyota vs. Madison Eagles and Akira Tozawa vs. Eddie Kingston preceded an excellent Rey de Voladores final between the 1-2-3 Kid and El Generico. Basically, if you want the catharsis and mystery, you go to night three.
Now that the framework of the weekend is out of the way, the time has come to break down specifics.
King of Trios Tournament - Sixteen teams have been announced and paired off. Friday night's card is SET. I will now break down each of the trios as best as I can:
Team Cruiserweight Classic: Drew Gulak competes regularly in Chikara (and in fact has a Grand Championship shot at titleholder Hallowicked at the first event after Trios). Johnny Gargano is making his grand return to the company after fading into the aether right before the worked closure. Alexander will be making his first and more than likely only Chikara appearance. These three wrestlers will coalesce into one trio with all the buzz from being in the best thing WWE has maybe ever done. I'm not sure how they will work together, as they're not really known for tagging together a whole lot. But they all bring individual power to the fray, power that many people have been watching on Wednesday nights for the last seven or so weeks. Their opponents will be...
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| She's not the Champ anymore, but don't count her out Photo Credit: Zia Hiltey |
The heXed Men: Many thought Hallowicked reigned terror on Chikara last year, spending most of the year as Grand Champion and holding Silver Ant hostage within his Challenge of the Immortals team. What he's done this year has dwarfed his ruthlessness and evil from last year. He conned Jakob Hammermeier into believing his use of the Eye of Tyr worked on him, and then he started using his supernatural powers of persuasion to "rot" the minds of members of the Chikara roster into Nazmaldun's army, Nazmaldun being the currently unseen deity Hallowicked, Frightmare, and Blind Rage answer to. So far, Wicked has converted UltraMantis Black, Icarus, The Batiri, Kobald, and Mr. Touchdown to his cause, while still promising one more to fall to his power. Since Obariyon, Kodama, and Kobald are in the tournament as their own trio, Icarus and Touchdown would make the most sense. However, will Hallowicked debut his new minion here? Will it be someone not currently booked in the tournament, or will he pull the old, "make the other guy's tag partner turn on his team" trick with...
Colony Prime: Worker Ant has been disgruntled lately. He showed that his allegiance was to the good guys all the way back at the Season 11 finale. He was a loyal soldier against the malevolent forces that threatened to take out not only The Colony, but the existence of Chikara itself. He donned the mantel of the fallen Ant proudly, and when Soldier Ant stood as a foe, he had their backs, even at the detriment of his own health. But when it came time to ride into battle at Trios, Fire and Silver Ants chose their prodigal son Soldier over Worker. That rankled him quite a bit. He was up to the task to recruit teammates for the Team Hallowicked vs. Team Fire Ant tag match that took place at the most recent event, No One's First and You're Next, and he's taken two of those formicine allies by his side. Arctic Rescue Ant is the lone orphan from the Colony: X-Treme Force still in his current form. Missile! Assault! Man! lost the mask and followed Kevin "Snowflake" Condron. However, Condron's abusive behavior, blatant disregard for life and morals, and his absenteeism over the last year were enough to break the former CXF explosives expert from the Battleborn and onto the side of his once and current compatriots. Speaking of ants...
The Colony: For the first time since April 29, 2012, Fire, Soldier, and Silver Ants will team together in a trios match. In fact, it will be the first time Soldier and Fire will have both teamed with Silver since he transformed from Green Ant. Ever since Wink Vavasseur split the group with his ill-fated Chikarametrics experiment, the Colony has felt incomplete, no matter how hard Worker Ant has tried to fit in. So, will they pick up right where they left off, as the conquering avatars of Chikara tecnicodom? The last time these three were on the same team in King of Trios, they won the whole dang thing. However, a lot has changed. Team FIST is no more, and its cornerstone doesn't even have possession of his name anymore. Many other stalwarts have gone and been replaced by newer, less familiar faces. And their opponents in round one exemplify that to a tee...
Team Big Deal: Hornswoggle is Hornswoggle no more. He's dropped the Irish garb and the associations with 3MB to go completely Hollywood. While Mr. Deal is short in stature, his cohorts, Sloan Caprice and Rick Roland, are massive mountains of men. Caprice and Roland were seen lurching around the Wrestle Factory in advance of their leader's arrival, and when he did make his entrance into Chikara, he picked a fight with... the United Nations? With all due respect to Juan Francisco de Coronado, that's like walking into a bar and picking a fight with the skinny teenagers who sneaked in with fake IDs. The Colony will be a far more formidable matchup for them, but again, have you SEEN the size of Roland and Caprice? Speaking of Mr. de Coronado...
The United Nations: JFdC's merry band of misfits will take another running jump at taking King of Trios. Last year, Mr. Azerbaijan was on the team with the Juan and the Boar; this year he's off winning yet another Azerbaijan's Sexiest Man competition and will be replaced by Sean Waltman superfan and spunky greenhorn Prakash Sabar. Coronado spent a good part of the last calendar year screwing with Mr. Touchdown, but now that Mama Angelosetti's High-Strung Baby Boy is rotting from the inside out with the Nazmaldun clan, Coronado needs someone else to annoy. While it appears he's on a collision course with The Big Deal down the road, in the interim, he gets to have a run in with...
Team Police Squad: The only time you'll see a bunch of liberal-leaning nerd goofballs that is the Chikara fanbase cheer en masse law enforcement is when Officer Warren Barksdale, Detective Bill Carr, and Supercop Dick Justice hit the scene. Carr and Justice are relative newcomers to the Chikara scene despite being longtime veterans of promotions both adjacent and opposed to the promotion. They are the perfect complements to Barksdale, who's had quite the impressive rookie year as Chikara's resident arbiter of justice. The sad part of the whole deal is that none of these policemen-cum-wrestlers can legally arrest Coronado because he probably has, *sigh* diplomatic immunity. Win or lose, however, their antics should provide some classic comic relief, which in Chikara, is to be taken as seriously as the other serious stuff. However, one team that will not have a whole lot of playing around going on will be the...
The Batiri: The Twin Scythes and Poison Bolt of Nazmaldun weren't always this evil. Well, they debuted as minions of Sinn "Kizarny" Bodhi, but they were more playful evil as his minions. Now, just a scant few months after becoming whole again with Kobald's resurrection near the end of last season, they've fallen victim to the rot that is looking to bring down Chikara from the inside. The fun, evil version of the Batiri put ads up selling ant skulls on Craigslist after promising to take down the Colony. This version will be just as likely to eat their fallen opponents flesh after felling them, but they'll have an extremely hard time taking down the trio of...
Major League Moustache: Dasher Hatfield has teamed with a variety of different teammates in his five prior Trios tournaments. However, Sugar Dunkerton and Matt Classic no longer appear in Chikara, and both Icarus and Mark Angelosetti have fallen victim to the spell of Nazmaldun. One could say his utter refusal to forgive the former Mr. Touchdown and accept him back as family after the whole cheating scandal that estranged them since the end of last season may have sent him down the dark path. Still, with no reaching his former partner, Hatfield has turned to handsome English gentlemen and the current Campeones de Parejas, Moustache Mountain. Tyler Bate and Trent Seven are making their second appearance in the tournament. Last year, they teamed with Daniel Moloney and made it all the way to the semifinals. Will the change in partner allow them to go even further? They won't be the only members of teams who've tasted far runs in the tournament, like...
The Sendai Girls: Meiko Satomura and Dash Chisako return to make another epic run in the tournament like 2012. However, their partner Sendai Sachiko has retired. In her stead, the Sendai Girls have brought Cassandra Miyagi with them. This team is one of two squads representing the art of joshi, Japanese women's wrestling. For those who know, this announcement is HYPE like Rockwell. For those who don't, well, you know mid-'90s All-Japan Pro Wrestling and current day New Japan Pro Wrestling? Neither promotion would be half of what they were or are without the intrepid joshis laying the groundwork. They were doing the crazy shit far before the men were, and unless you're reading Mike Quackenbush or Dave Meltzer, they don't get nearly enough credit that they deserve. Satomura is among the best if not the best in that scene right now. You should get excited, even if they may not overcome their first round opponents of...
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| Lovelace is looking for more hardware Photo Credit: Erik Dixon |
Team JWP: Command Bolshoi is no stranger to King of Trios, as she teamed with Kaori Yoneyama and the joshi HOSS Tsubasa Kuragaki. This year, she brings two new competitors into the Chikara fray, Hanako Nakamori and Manami Katsu. I don't know much about the other two joshis, so I am intrigued to say the least at what they can bring. Bolshoi, however, is a known quantity. She's one of the best high-flyers in the world. They will definitely have a tall task because they face...
The Geck-Osirian Portal: Ophidian and Amasis have spent so much of the last five years estranged from each other. Starting at High Noon, when Ophidian ruined Amasis' "retirement" ceremony through their feud upon his return, to their more amicable split during the Challenge of the Immortals, it's almost stranger to see them together anymore. But when they are a tandem, they are among the best. They've had trouble holding third parties for Trios, however. Neither Escorpion Egipcio nor Hieracon lasted long voluntary partners, and the less said about their forced dalliance with BDK plant Sara del Rey in 2010, the better. This year, however, they may have found a keeper. Argus is no stranger to teaming with Ophidian, as they were Snake Pit teammates last year in the COTI. Argus' mastery of the "gecko-Roman" style and his unflinching integrity make him a formidable addition to the Portal. This version of the Portal will face an all-women team, but the parade of potential Queens of Trios won't stop there...
Team SHIMMER: Candice LeRae and "Crazy" Mary Dobson were originally going to team with former Chikara roster member and two-time former SHIMMER World Champion Madison Eagles, but the Aussie ace seemed to have cracked the injury mirror sometime in her life, because her luck with health has been bad. Replacing her will be the bubbly and sugary Solo Darling, who last appeared at National Pro Wrestling Day as Heidi Lovelace's opponent. She won over the crowd and I'm surprised it took her this long to come back. Either way, this team ought to be fun. LeRae is legitimately one of the most popular and best wrestlers in the country right now, while Dobson brings a healthy amount of, ahem, crazy to her matches, enough that she's gotten signed by WWE. Of course, their opponents may know a thing or two about being signed by the big company...
The Original Diva's Revolution: Before some say Paige or Nikki Bella or Stephanie McMahon started the "Diva's Revolution" on RAW, WWE had several interesting and talented female competitors. Mickie James, Jazz, and Lisa Marie "Victoria" Varon all could be considered ahead of their times, but that doesn't mean they're fossils. James recently took on Kimber Lee at National Pro Wrestling Day, while Jazz has showed she's still among the most fearsome and brutal brawlers on the gosh darn planet. Varon may be the furthest removed from the ring, but she still belongs on that apron with the others.
Now that you're up to speed on the 16 trios entered in this shindig, why don't I start peeling back layers on the other stuff going on, starting with Rey de Voladores. Usually, eight wrestlers are partitioned into two four-way eliminator matches for night two, while the winners of those matches face off for the crown night three. Not all of them are announced right away. The ones not announced beforehand usually come from teams eliminated night one. Five competitors have been announced, and they are as follows...
Frightmare: The Spear of Nazmaldun will forgo King of Trios glory for a second time (he won the tourney in '12 with UltraMantis Black and Hallowicked) to attempt to capture the King of Flyers crown that eluded him in 2010 and 2011. Since he has fallen into his rot, Frightmare has taken a far more deliberate, brutal style, but perhaps the RdV will bring out his big-bumping, higher-flying style. Even if it doesn't, he can now be a base for some of the other flippier, more insane competitors.
Wani: Another rudo native with a more grounded style than some previous winners, Wani is probably to be considered a favorite to win here. While he debuted under the mask at last year's Top Banana in the torneo cibernetico, Mike Quackenbush has intimated on commentary that he may not be a rookie. Either way, his strange ring presence and martial arts-influenced style should fit in well with the other announced competitors.
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| Aerostar gonna dazzle, you watch Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein |
Anthony Nese: Nese has been a solid hand for a few years, but his usage in EVOLVE has left a lot to be desired. Then he showed up to the Cruiserweight Classic and blew people's minds by getting his poop in in a glorified squash over Anthony Bennett and in an epic match against Brian Kendrick. Nese has a WWE build, but he does things that even the twistiest and flippiest wrestlers can only dream of doing.
Space Monkey: The Intergalactic Simian is the only one of the announced field so far that I've not seen, but he's the most exciting prospect. He originally gained prominence in the Toronto-area indie scene, but he's blown up, going across the lake to Cleveland and even getting dates in New England and Atlanta. He's the most Chikara character out there of anyone who hasn't already wrestled for the company.
And then, night three has the annual Tag Team Gauntlet, where ten teams vie to win pride and perhaps some points towards Campeonatos de Parejas contention. The match starts with two teams, and when one team is eliminated, another one comes out. Again, not all the teams have been announced, because the field will be filled out with people who lost in the first two rounds of the Trios tournament. The teams that are in so far are...
The Devastation Corporation: Despite falling into a swoon after the near decapitation of former manager Sidney Bakabella and the unceremonious firing of founding member Max Smashmaster, the team of Blaster McMassive and Flex Rumblecrunch have rebounded back into the tip-top echelon of Chikara. Their efforts to win back the Campeonatos de Parejas have been stymied so far, but they still have the drive, the sheer brutality, and the scariest thing of all, the sheer anger to do so. They're still out to give Los Ice Creams a receipt, and they haven't forgotten Princess Kimber Lee either. Their unfettered rage and unparalleled strength may carry them to victory in the gauntlet unless the next team foils their efforts.
Los Ice Creams: Chikara's lovable losers have found success lately, firstly as members of the Challenge of the Immortals Champion team Crown and Court and more recently when they thought they won the Campeonatos de Parejas. Even though the win over NRG was cancelled out thanks to incompetent officiating handing them the belts after winning only one fall, they still proved that sometimes, the losers can win. Will their brand of comedic hijinks help them outlast nine other teams?
Team Sea Stars: The plucky rookies Ashley Vox and Delmi Exo emerge from the ocean in search of a foothold in Chikara. They haven't had much luck this season, but the tag gauntlet is always a good time to make an impression.
Hermit Crab and Rock Lobster: Another rookie team from the high seas, the Crustacean Connection has struggled with injuries this year. However, like the Sea Stars, the gauntlet will be a perfect opportunity to show off their wares for the largest crowd they'll wrestle in front of this year. Maybe Poseidon has a meeting between the nautical teams in mind?
Dez Peloton: I'm going to level with you, I have no idea who these guys are, so both you and I will see them in action for the first time on night three.
And of course, the weekend will have a potpourri of other matches happening on nights two and three outside of the three big tentpole events. Deonna Purrazzo was just recently announced for action during the weekend, but she won't be the only one. A match featuring two native roster members will take place night three, a battle of the one-man bands so to speak, when Juke Joint Lucas Calhoun battles Chuck Taylor™. Several other names on the Chikara roster aren't announced for any of the festivities so far: Eddie Kingston, Jakob Hammermeier, Jaka, Pinkie Sanchez, Jigsaw, Shynron, Drew Gulak, and most importantly, DUSTIN. One could throw together a solid card based on just those wrestlers alone.
If you're familiar with Chikara and are going to King of Trios, I hope this preview was a nice refresher for you. If you're going as your introduction to Chikara, I hope I illuminated you on the competitors and what you can expect. If you're not going, maybe this preview will get you off your butt and into Easton, or at the very least, cajole you to buy the DVDs or a Chikaratopia sub afterwards. Either way, Trios is one of the best things to happen in wrestling all year, and it is that important. Even if this is the only Chikara event you'll consume all year, it will be well worth your while.
* - Chikara has a point system where every singles or two-person tag match has bearing on challenging for the Grand Championship or Campeonatos de Parejas. If you win a match, you get a point. If you lose a match, you lose all your points. Three points is all an entity need to get a title match, and if more than three points are accrued, I think special stipulations can be invoked, but I'm not sure. Additionally, Jervis Cottonbelly has three points towards a Grand Championship match that he can never lose by virtue of his team, Crown and Court, winning last year's Challenge of the Immortals, a season-long, double round-robin tournament involving most of the wrestlers within the company divided onto teams. He's been scarce this season thanks to his relocation to the West Coast, but hopefully he shows up soon dot dot dot.
