Tuesday, December 13, 2016

It's Still Real to the President-Elect

Above: Something Donald Trump thought was a shoot
Photo Credit: WWE.com
The current President Elect of the United States and eminently frightening proto-fascist Donald Trump is no stranger to WWE. His casino and resort in Atlantic City hosted both WrestleMania IV and V. He's appeared multiple times on WWE television, including cornering Bobby Lashley at WrestleMania XXIII against Umaga. Ultimately, he's been enshrined in the WWE Hall of Fame. Trump hasn't forgotten how good the McMahon family has been to him over the years, which is why he appointed Linda McMahon as the Small Business Administrator in his cabinet, because when I think small business, I think WWE. What you can't see is me furiously making the JO motion with my right hand.

Anyway, if anyone has stories about Trump, embarrassing or otherwise, those people reside in WWE. Everyone's favorite super-indie promoter Triple H went on the Opie and Anthony Show back in 2008, back before co-host Anthony Cumia went full racist loon, and regaled a tale about how after the Vince McMahon limo explosion angle everyone, including Trump, called Titan Towers to see if McMahon was really dead:

Of course, this incident wasn't the first time someone has fallen for a WWE storyline like the company was playing out its day-to-day operations on cable television. Remember when useful idiot and capitalist fanboy Darren Rovell famously tweeted about how the transfer of power from McMahon to Triple H during Summer of Punk 2: PUNK HARDER was a potential SEC violation? The biggest difference is that Rovell is only a cog in the machine. Trump's running the whole thing. Additionally, the motherfucker can't even sell a goddamn Stone Cold Stunner correctly either:

We are so fucked.