Thursday, January 12, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 174

The Glamazon is part of my favorite "obscure" Rumble moment in recent memory
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

I don't know how "obscure" this is, but during CM Punk's masterful opening third of the 2010 Royal Rumble, when he was holding court and throwing people out of the ring, Beth Phoenix came out. She eliminated Great Khali via kiss, which was both probably a well-known highlight and also insanely problematic in hindsight. But what followed next was even better. She turned right around into the Go 2 Sleep, and it was the best Go 2 Sleep ever done by Punk. Phoenix took it like a Champ, maybe the only person ever to take it well from Punk.

I think everyone who follows NXT is expecting this to the point where it would be anticlimactic either way. If it happens, the buzz will be dampened, and if it doesn't, everyone will be mad that it didn't. I would run an angle where Miz or someone in NXT rigs the draw so he gets like nine or something. Then, the real magic can begin.

I love a great street fight. I'm predisposed to liking brawling the most out of any match type because it generally produces the best matches. Throwing punches and slamming people into various things is simple enough so that the widest amount of talent can do it, but when it's done well, it can be really satisfying, especially when emotional stakes are involved. So when you subtract the specter of disqualification and add in other exotic things you don't see in every match, like brawling into the street or creative weapons use, it ups the satisfaction probability by several factors.

Honestly, it's not surprising that a website dedicated to the basest aspects when sports intersect with toxic masculinity has caught fire in America. Sports fandom has always attracted some of the worst people in America, nay, the world. Sure, those people in total may not be worse than non-sports fans, but much like Donald Trump may only seem worse than, say, Mike Pence because of his churlish and boastful public attitudes, it's the sports dudes who are loudest who are gonna seem worse than the asswipes in other non-sports arenas where shouting isn't as encouraged.

However, I'm not necessarily interested in the prevalence of Barstool nationally as I am as its weird resurgence among the SB Nation/more progressive-minded sports Twitter circles in which I run. Call it Greater Lefty Sports Twitter if you will. I wanna say I don't know when it started happening, but I do, when PFT Commenter left SB Nation to go get a paid gig there. I can't blame PFTC for wanting to get paid, but it was one of those things where people started to cow under politics, which is why certain dudes from Barstool started getting influence in Greater Lefty Sports Twitter. Now, granted, I don't know which people among the Barstool administration are good or who are simpatico with the GLST, but the fact that now people are needing to feel cool with Barstool to placate an entertaining and satirically vital (I hate to say it, but) brand is uneasy. But it makes sense. Again, people cow under the pressure.

I'm guessing you mean a 64-man tournament that ends in an eight-man Money in the Bank match, so I'm going to break it down into separate pods. The caveats are that none of the current top Champions will be in it. Without further ado:
  • RAW - Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Chris Jericho, Sami Zayn, Braun Strowman, Big Cass, Rusev, Finn Bálor if healthy/Xavier Woods if not
  • Smackdown - John Cena, Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, Kalisto, Apollo Crews
  • Tag Team Special - Big E, Kofi Kingston, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper
  • NXT - Samoa Joe, Bobby Roode, Tye Dillinger, Roderick Strong, Andrade "Cien" Almas, Scott Dawson, Dash Wilder, No Way Jose
  • 205 Live - The Brian Kendrick, TJ Perkins, Neville, Cedric Alexander, Noam Dar, Jack Gallagher, Ariya Daivari, Tajiri
  • WWE UK - Pete Dunne, Danny Birch, Wolfgang, Tyler Bate, Trent Seven, Mark Andrews, Dan Moloney, Joseph Connors
  • EVOLVE - Matt Riddle, Fred Yehi, Hot Sauce Williams, Ethan Page, Drew Galloway, DUSTIN, Zack Sabre, Jr., ACH
  • Grab Bag - Kassius Ohno, Rhyno, Mojo Rawley, Titus O'Neil, Drew Gulak, Tony Nese, Kane, Xavier Woods if Bálor is healthy/James Ellsworth if not
The winners of each bracket would move onto the finals, so give me either Bálor or Reigns from RAW, Miz from Smackdown, Big E from the Tags, Dillinger from NXT, Alexander from 205 Live, Andrews from the UK, Riddle from EVOLVE, and Ohno from the Grab Bag. Big E would then win, pushing him into the singles main event scene where he belongs.