Thursday, August 24, 2017

Learning to Live with Smackdown

Corbin's new job
Photo Credit: WWE.com
This week on Smackdown I'm learning to live with:

The Ongoing Quest for an Open Challenge
AJ Styles was once again a United States Championship Open Challenge tease, though I guess I shouldn't blame him since Kevin Owens was the one who wouldn't let the show go on. At this point I'm torn between keeping my hopes alive and just letting the whole thing die. An open challenge could be a really fun thing for Smackdown, but this Styles/Owens thing just won't end. Next week I won't be able to watch the show, which means that that's DEFINITELY when we'll finally get an open challenge. You're welcome in advance.

Shane's Shenanigans
Another drawback of Owens and Styles continuing their feud is that every step of it has been marred by screwy finishes and the increasingly intrusive presence of Shane McMahon. This week was by far the worst, with McMahon agreeing to let Owens pick a guest referee and to let whatever decisions were made stand, only to run out, draw focus, and mess things up again. He wouldn't allow Baron Corbin's decision about a (questionable, admittedly) rope break call to stand despite insisting that the ref's decisions always stand, pulled Corbin right out of the ring, and then got even more angry when Corbin didn't see Owens land a low blow because McMahon was distracting him. Shane is the worst right now. I see we're still bent on heading towards an in-ring confrontation him and Owens, and that's a terrible decision.

Not Choosing Friendship
Part of me is glad Sami Zayn turned down Kevin Owens' offer to be the special guest referee because he's paid attention to his own life. Another part of me feels like friendship is always the best choice and I wish Zayn had done Owens a solid in memory of what they once had. Also, as Owens pointed out (because he can never help being just a bit of an asshole), Zayn had nothing else going on and he's accomplished pretty much nothing since coming to Smackdown. And as of the end of the show that was still true. That'll teach him to deny the power of friendship!

Baron Corbin's New Job
It's weird but I actually thought Corbin did a pretty good job as a referee! I hardly noticed he was there (ahem, Shane), and apart from claiming that Owens barely brushing the ropes was grounds for breaking a hold, he kept things fair. Also, though Baron Corbin is hardly a dude I want to see winning titles, his sullen teenage dirtbag persona is delightful to me. Of course his response to McMahon's unwanted criticism was to be like, “Ugh, I do what I want, you're not my real dad! FINE. I QUIT!” and throw his ref shirt at McMahon while stomping off. He should have flipped everyone off while skateboarding back up the ramp. I am here for more easily offended ref Baron Corbin.

The Actual Match
End-of-match nonsense aside, I still liked the main event match between Kevin Owens and AJ Styles. It's shame they haven't been able to just have a straightforward wrestling match. I feel like their chemistry has really been hindered. I have loved the characterization of Owens throughout their feud, though, with him stirring the pot and being able to manipulate Styles into giving him another match and McMahon into letting him choose his own ref. It's too bad there couldn't be a really satisfying payoff.

And props to Owens for looking utterly crushed after it was all over. That United States title doesn't mean half as much to Styles as it does to him!

A Glorious Debut
Bobby Roode showed up on Smackdown to interrupt Aiden English and it was fine? I don't know. I'm not super into Bobby Rude, amazing entrance song aside. I'm more than willing to be won over and I know a lot of people were happy to see him, so I'm not going to be a Negative Nancy about this. For me it was just a thing that happened. And any time that Aiden English gets, even losing, is good time.

The World's Greatest American Alpha Tag Team
Again, not much to say here except that I was happy to see Shelton Benjamin pop up and even happier that he's tagging with Chad Gable. I'm afraid poor Jason Jordan is getting the short end of this deal, but I have to think of Smackdown first, and it looks like we'll have yet another fun tag team to throw into the mix. I can't believe I have to miss their in-ring debut next week!

Not Getting Hype
Speaking of tag teams, because I know that WWE often does not want me to have nice things, for a while I was terrified that the Hype Bros were going to beat the Usos and put themselves in line for the Tag Team Championships. Luckily I was wrong and the Usos were able to destroy them. As it should be.

A Terrible Plan
So, like, does Daniel Bryan secretly hate Shinsuke Nakamura? I know the point of the two-on-one match against the Singh Brothers was that Nakamura could easily dispatch them, but you're really going to pit Nakamura against two guys at once, guys whose whole shtick is cheating, guys whose equally cheating boss would be right at ringside? I mean, yeah, it worked out well, but it could have gone terribly! Between this and being the one who recommended Shane McMahon as the referee at SummerSlam, where either Styles or Owens could have turned on him, I'm starting to think that Bryan is playing some sort of long game.

Not Co-Existing
Natalya and Carmella had to team up again now that the former is the Women's Champion and it went exactly as you might have expected. Again, does Daniel Bryan just hate everyone? Why would you make your champion team up with someone in whose best interest it is for the champ to lose? It was hard to focus on the tag match itself because everything was revolving around Carmella not tagging in, but I do always like seeing Naomi and Becky Lynch team up. I'd really like to see a story get started that's not “Will Carmella cash in this week???” or the Tamina and Lana plot that appears to be existing independently of everyone else.

Also, may I just say that Lana didn't get her multiple title shots because she was “ravishing.” She got them because she kept annoying the champion. Why don't you try that, Tamina?