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| He is... the most interesting man IN LUCHA Screen Grab via @GolazoDan |
1. Dr. Wagner, Jr. (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The lucha legend may have come out on the losing end of his lucha de apuesta with Psycho Clown, but in losing his mask, he gained many more thirsty fans by revealing that he is by all metrics a silver fox. Now, all are left to wonder is he the real Most Interesting Man in the World? Dos Equis can't settle this with branding, no sir it cannot.
2. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 1) - Look, it took a veritable swashbuckling grandfather the ladies would like to, ahem, fondle taking off his mask to knock Strowman from the top spot this week, a week where he's fresh off the heels of grinding Brock Lesnar into Jimmy John's crumbs and HGH residue.
3. Katherine Johnson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Ms. Johnson, the inspiration for the movie Hidden Figures, turned 99 this weekend. Did you know that she calculated all those trajectories on the Apollo 11 mission by hand, and that Buzz Aldrin trusted her over computer technology? Not too shabby for someone who was mere years removed from being legally forced to drink from a separate fountain in certain locales.
4. Xia Li (Last Week: Not Ranked) - No, I haven't watched any Mae Young Classic yet, but apparently, Li turned quite a few heads with her performance over the first round. While this kinda thing is to be expected of the Jazzy Gabert/Abbey Laith/Mercedes Martinez et al. crowd, Li making strides like that bodes well for all the other Performance Center bodies.
5. Eggplant Parmesan (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING - This dish was both the Italian and vegetarian option at the wedding I attended on Saturday, which felt weird. Eggplant parm, at a wedding? That's not real wedding food, right? It was very good though, which duh. Eggplant parm is super delicious.
6. Jack Kirby (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Today would have been Kirby's 100th birthday. Without this Nazi-punchin' son of a gun, comics today, Marvel and DC and the whole world, wouldn't be the same. He might be dead, but his spirit lives on stronger than it ever has.
7. Kevin Huber (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, I know it's the preseason, and I know he's a punter, but c'mon, this was some sick ball-handling, and against the Landover Racial Slurs too.
8. Asuka (Last Week: 5) - She gave up her NXT Women's Championship, not because she broke her collarbone, but because no one could beat her in NXT, even with a broken collarbone. She may take a dip from the poll just from inactivity, but once she comes back and kicks someone's jaw clean off their face on Monday or Tuesday when she recovers, she'll come right back, you watch.
9. Tormund Giantsbane (Last Week: 6) - Game of Thrones left off on one of the most excruciating cliffhangers ever, right after Jon Snow banged his aunt to the dulcet narration of the cousin he grew up thinking was his half-brother-turned-magical omniscient being. If you think I'm referring to The Night King and zombie Viserion burning down The Wall at Eastwatch By the Sea, you're wrong because that's not a cliffhanger, you dingus. What I' referring to, IS TORMUND STILL ALIVE??? Did he, Beric Dondarrion, and the other Free Folk and men of the Night's Watch escape the destruction? One can only hope so, because if Tormund dies, I riot. HE HAS TO (CONSENSUALLY) MAKE WARRIOR BABIES WITH BRIENNE OF TARTH, DAMMIT!
10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - He's still here for porkin', folks.
