Friday, September 15, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

The Undisputed Era continues apace
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Team Australia: You're the best!  No, you're the best!  Hashtag Iconic!
Ruby Riot: I can't wait to fight Team Asshole.
Team Australia: oh em gee she can't even pronounce Australia right!
Ruby: disgusted eye roll
Team Australia: whales on her since she's fighting a tag team match by herself
Nikki Cross: wanders through the crowd to ringside, giggling madly all the way
Ruby: ducks so Billie lays out Peyton with a Rolling Elbow, shoves Billie into Peyton, and staggers into her corner
Nikki: Me oh my, what jokes and japes I'll play.  TAG!
Referee: Tag!
Ruby: wait what
Team Australia: wait what
Nikki: SURprisE!  lays them both out, tags out Byeeeeee!  leaves
Ruby: ...uh....okay?  top rope senton
Referee: Winner...s?
Team Australia: wait what
Ruby: wait what
Referee: Speaking strictly as a neutral observer...I concur.
Nigel: (during the replays) You got to believe there's going to be a receipt coming for the favor she did Ruby there!
Team Australia: ...why?!
Ruby: I... I don't... she...uh....hooray?

No Way Jose: Lars Sullivan is an animal.   A monster.  A freak.  He probably thinks those are compliments!  You can't go around jumping people after the bell.  If he wants, I'll face him next week and show him how things are done around here.

Johnny Gargano: Here I am, in my favorite place, where the past can't reach out and snatch me up at all!
Riddick Moss: kicks his ass for two segments
Announce Table: wait what
Full Sailors: wait what
Angry Bald Hobbled Man Watching At Home: cackling
Riddick: You're nothing without #DIY!
Johnny Gargano's Brain: hears the opening :10 of this

Johnny Gargano's Hands: are thrown
Johnny Garga: NO ESCAPE!
Riddick Moss: crawls for...then gets the ropes
Everybody: ...
Johnny Gargano: stares at his hands Backlund style
Tino Sabotelli: Hey!  I'm here to fail at interfering and get superkicked!  does
Johnny Wrestling: slingshot spear
Referee: Winner!
Everybody: FINALLY
ABHMW@H: cackles louder
Johnny: I won!  As I should've!  Everything must be fine now!

Street Profits: Damn.
Ealy Brothers: Shit.
All Four: It's wack.
Street Profits: serve up the squash
Referee: Winners!
Street Profits: celebrate in the crowd to an increasingly positive response

God's Production Team: (Chris Farley voice) Remembe... remember when we had Asuka?  One time she punched us in the face.

It was awesome.

Master Regal: Stay tuned for details on how we fill the Women's World Title vacancy, though those of you weeks in the future from this taping already know a pirate princess has sailed into a slot based off her historic set of victories.


Wolfgang: howls
Full Sailors: howl back
Pete Dunne: gets a bigger pop than Johnny Gargano
Full Sailors, Including Several Brits: Bruiserweight!  Bruiserweight!  Bruiserweight!  Bruiserweight!
Dunne: attacks the arm with mean bendiness and joint manipulation
Wolfgang: cravates him before slamming him around the ring a few times
Dunne: slingshot apron DDT from the inside to the floor, kimura with a bodyscissors Give it up!
Wolfgang: spears him (with the bad shoulder) NO.  Tope con hilo!  Moonsault!  Delayed superplex!
Referee: Kickout!

Wolfgang: Hero time!  flies off with the Howling
Dunne: You must've forgot the time change.  It's cross armbreaker time!
Wolfgang: NO!  Pop up powerslam!  LARIAT!
Dunne: Nope.  FOREARM  In fact, we're done here.  Bitter End
Referee: Winner!
Dunne: celebrates 
Three Familiar Looking Gents: Peter.
Dunne: That's me.  So's this.  lays out O'Reilly with a forearm
Wolfgang: helps him fight this threesome
Dunne: ends up on the outside
Threesome: beats the Wolf down
Dunne: seethes on the rampway for a couple of beats, then rushes the ring
WWE UK Title: is grabbed from the ring, Dunne leaves
Full Sailors: laugh and applaud
Dunne: shrugs and walks off 
Familiar Looking Gent: Shining Wizard, bay bay!  This is our ERA!  It's UNDISPUTED!
Moustache Mountain: runs out for the entirely too late save, stares down CFO
The Undisputed Era: chuckles nonchalantly from the crowd