Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Vanilla Midget Report, Vol. 2, Issue 1: Mae Young Classic Scattered Thoughts

BOMBS AWAY, KAIRI
Photo Credit: WWE.com
So, WWE decided to do a big set-piece, Network-only tournament for the second summer in a row. The first difference is it wasn't a sequel to the Cruiserweight Classic, but instead a spotlight on female wrestlers and women's wrestling. The Mae Young Classic was borne out of the crazy idea that women can wrestle just as good as men, if not better (and if you've been watching joshi for the last 30 or so years, you know they not only do it better, but influence the men to follow them). The second big difference is that instead of airing an episode a week for eight straight weeks in advance of a live finale, WWE put them out in "binge packets." Oh, and instead of dedicating an entire hour live at the venue where they all wrestled like for the CWC, the live finale is a half-hour and is tacked onto the end of an episode of Smackdown. Fun times! Finally, WWE decided that instead of having knowledgeable, engaging commentators, it'd run out the rambling husk of Jim Ross and Lita, who, god bless her, tried her hardest at least.

Still, with all the differences and missteps in presentation, the MYC's overall quality stood up to the CWC's in the areas that mattered. Out of 30 matches that were presented via binge-streaming, maybe only one or two were outright bad, which going against the first 30 matches of the CWC, is probably the exact same ratio for quality (hi, Ho Ho Lun). Where it might be better off than the CWC is that the winner won't be as overly grating at TJP was. Sure, Shayna Baszler gets heat from some within and outside of the bubble because it's a transparent play to get Ronda Rousey in a WWE ring, but what if I told you Baszler was actually good at wrestling and has an innate ability to produce heat, which if you judge TJP's entrances on RAW he's devoid of? Yeah. Anyway, Baszler/Kairi Sane tonight should rake, but a tournament is not only worthy because of its final. Allow me to put down in bandwidth what I thought of the rest of the thing.

The Green Girls - While the MYC was a great sampler plate of all the talented known-talent of the wrestling world, it was stocked with quite a few Performance Center rookies/short-service wrestlers. Their performances ranged from "get eviscerated in like two minutes" to "hey, she has a future." Maybe the only one that didn't fit was Vanessa Borne, but a lot of that may have had to do with her opponent in the first round. I'm not knocking Serena Deeb's historical body of work one bit, because she has done the thing for a good long time. But she was coming off a two-year hiatus, and while wrestling is like riding a bike, it doesn't mean she wouldn't have ring rust. Deeb vs. Borne actually felt like a rusty vet was coming back to handle a wrestler in her second televised match ever. Or is it first? I can't recall if her qualifying match was aired on NXT television.

The other low-experience unknowns who participated acquitted themselves in ways from "hey, she's not bad" to "I want to see more of her on NXT this instant." Of that group, Xia Li, Lacey Evans, and Bianca Belair are the three who stood out the most. Li had only one match to show her wares, but for someone who was in her first match out of Performance Center training, she kinda blew my mind. Of course, she also has extensive experience as a stuntwoman and a practitioner of wuxia, which can help when you're transitioning into a pro wrestling career. She already feels more ready for WWE television than her male counterpart, Tian Bing, and he's been working for years.

Evans and Belair, however, feel like they're going to become bigger things on whatever brand they land on and for good reason in the ring. The big reason is both of them brought something fresh to the table, almost bordering on innovative. I can't easily describe what Evans did except that it was good and worked with her opponents without feeling like a super-indie shtick or something you'd find on WWE's televised slog. Maybe it's not innovative, but it feels like an update on a lost art, perhaps? I don't know. Belair's use of her long braided hair, however, is definitely something I haven't seen before, and it could end up being the hallmark for her. Aside from that gimmickry, she has a lot of energy, and her athleticism could translate into a lot of big pops from crowds during matches. Of course, their characters are still issues. Evans going a full cross between "I'd like to speak to your manager" and "rah rah USA debutante" shtick is not something I'm looking forward to, and Belair needs a more defined character than "she's the -est." Then again, they've only had two matches in an exhibition environment. I'm willing to wait it out just a bit, at least until they get to NXT.

The Ballad of Jazzy and Abbey - It didn't take long for the tournament to kick into high gear, as arguably the best match in the entire frame took place in the main event of episode one. Abbey Laith and Jazzy Gabert created a seminal David and Goliath match and set a tone that was matched throughout but hard to top. While it would be unconscionable to send either wrestler away from the proceedings after only one match, the first round had to have a few hammers in there, and hoo boy did the former Kimber Lee and Alpha Female slam it down. From the opening handshake, when Gabert yanked Laith into her with a look of savage bloodthirst in her eyes, the match went and went hard. Laith ragdolled around the ring, and Gabert looked at home more than any other wrestler in the tournament, which is saying something for only one match's exposure. The finish coming out of nowhere really felt like a shock, one because it was so deeply applied and two because of how dominant Gabert looked throughout the match. It was such masterful storytelling, and it helped establish the Alligator Clutch as Laith's magic fixer, as any good aristocratic one-percenter should have to get out of a tight jam.

In fact, if I had to deem anyone a MVP throughout the tournament without having gone at least to the semifinals, it'd be Laith. She was in three matches and all three were bangers, each building off each other. While I wish the Mercedes Martinez match had been a little tighter, they did great work building off the first two rounds with playing around the Alligator Clutch. It sucks that Kimber Lee no longer will be at SHIMMER weekends or at the Wrestle Factory as a sure thing, but hey, WWE gained one hell of a wrestler. Hopefully, the people running things in Orlando or Stamford or wherever know what they have with her.

Viper! - One of the most pleasant surprises was the treatment of Piper Niven, better known outside the MYC-verse as Viper. If you've been living under a rock, Niven has a bit of weight on her. In the past, WWE has treated women of considerably less body mass as if they were anathema. Just cycle back to Molly Holly and Mickie James and [insert woman of size greater than 0 here] were given "fat" angles to deal with and you'll know the company has no room to be trusted on issues of feminine body image. However, Niven got the treatment a superstar of her caliber deserved. If anything, comments about her body mass were analytical and dealt with the matches themselves rather than on her frame, and it allowed viewers at home to watch her unfettered by gross body-shaming sexism.

That was a good thing, because Niven was one of the unquestioned major players in the entire tournament. She had three matches, and all three of them could be placed on a top ten list and I wouldn't bat an eyelash. Her match with Toni Storm in the quarterfinals was even better if you knew the history between the two in the British indies and STARDOM in Japan. Of course, you'd have to come in with some kind of passing knowledge, because Ross and Lita totally whiffed on it during the closing stretch, as Niven ascended the top rope, both wanting to win the match, but also not wanting to smush her friend in the process. That was storytelling on par with Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa in the CWC, at least in the moment because I'd be shocked if WWE signed either one of them, let alone both of them. Whatever happens next, the tournament left me with a desire to want to watch more Viper matches, which should be a boon for wrestling at large but not for my own bank account since, again, she's probably not signing that contract.

Of course, not everyone was free of the grip of misogynistic framing. I really, really, REALLY wish Candice LeRae had not been framed as "Mrs. Johnny Gargano" and nothing else. The commentators, bookers, agents, and everyone involved missed an opportunity to put over a unique talent, only brushing on it by calling her "resilient" in the first round. Of course, when she used Garga-No Escape on Baszler in the quarterfinals, the commentators missed the opportunity to put two and two together because WHY SHOULD A SET-PIECE TOURNAMENT HAVE COMPETENT NARRATION. Sorry, I got caps lock stuck.

Brace Yourselves; Horsewomen Are Coming - Baszler's inclusion in the Mae Young Classic sparked the fuse on interminable chatter surrounding a potential showdown between the Four Horsewomen of Mixed Martial Arts and NXT Wrestling. In the second packet of episodes released, WWE pulled the trigger, having Ronda Rousey, Jessamyn Duke, and Marina Shafir confronting Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, and Bayley in a backstage vignette. The contingency was always having Rousey aboard, and honestly, despite the fact that she'd be another awful person coming into wrestling to get a payday (look up her comments about trans people), I'm not hating the idea of a match. Baszler is already ingrained in pro wrestling; she's arguably more successful in pro wrestling in two years surfing the indies than she's been in 16 years inside the "real" cage. Shafir spends a lot of time in the periphery of the Performance Center already since she's married to NXT's Roderick Strong. Duke has already started training for wrestling. Personally, Rousey's domino falling will not only get her WWE involvement out of the way, it'll be a far more satisfying affair than if she teamed with The Rock to face Triple H and Stephanie McMahon (as teased at WrestleMania 31) or even worse, in a singles match against McMahon.

Main Event Spoiler Alert? - Sane appeared in four episodes, and in each episode, she was in the main event spot. Obviously, she's perhaps the most marquee name, one-half of an attempted full main event raid of STARDOM (Io Shirai's bum neck prevented the other half from being realized), so she should get the most shine, but I wonder if her main event count being four to Baszler's zero is a spoiler for tonight? Does Sane sit atop a perception gap, or is it just WWE's way of normalizing said gap since Baszler is famous by association with Rousey? Maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

That being said, as a STARDOM newb, I found Sane to be worth the hype for the most part. For the four women who wrestled in four matches, it was a tossup between her and Storm for the best, even if their semifinal match together was a bit rough. I chalk that up to Sane getting concussed on a dive to the floor near the beginning though. The elbow drop is a sight to behold in real time, however. Gifs don't do it justice.

It's a Long Way Home from Here to... the Performance Center? - Look, I don't wanna spend a whole lot of words on Ross and Lita, but god, Ross' insistence that the loser of each match had to go home afterwards was grating, and he dropped it every match. Like, say what you want about Mauro Ranallo's pop culture references and name-dropping, and believe me, I did when I was covering the CWC last year, but he at least put some elbow grease behind those. Ross was in paycheck mode. Also, how many of those women that he was opining about their long trips home were based in Orlando anyway? Just let me be free of Jim Ross forever now, please and thank you.

My Pick for Tonight - Okay, so Baszler/Sane is coming for all the Tostitos, so what's my forecast? Well, I think it mostly depends on whether or not the NXT Women's World Championship is the prize, which has been rumored. Asuka vacating the title has lent itself to a lot of speculation, and knowing WWE's decision-making process, I wouldn't be surprised if the braintrust still wasn't mulling it over. However, if the belt is on the line, then Sane is probably a lock to win. With all the rumblings about Rousey and the other MMA Horsewomen coming in for a showdown against the NXT Horsewomen, you can't have Baszler slumming it in NXT in advance of what will probably be the Survivor Series main event. If the title isn't on the line, however, I'm not so sure Baszler is a lock to win. Remember, Sane main evented every show she was on. However, Baszler had not only one, but two angles attached to her. Remember, she mauled LeRae after the bell of their quarterfinal match. But if the belt is not on the line, then the winner is a bit murkier, but Baszler probably has the edge.

The quality of the match itself, however, is a bit easier to forecast. It should be good, folks. Sit back and enjoy it.