The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 4, 2017

THEY CALL ME THE WORKIN' MAAAAEEEAAAANNNNN
Photo via Utility Contractor Magazine

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. The Proletariat (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The working class is the backbone upon which society is anchored, and today, Labor Day, is for celebrating all these intrepid persons for making the world as great as it is. Reminder, capital is wholly unneeded for society to function, but without labor, everyone dies. Remember that the next time you lick one-percent boots or bash labor unions.

2. Dr. Wagner, Jr. (Last Week: 1) - Wagner is enjoying retirement like any lucha legend would by dancing with women who could pass as his daughters on boats. What a goddamn legend this man is.

3. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 2) - Strowman didn't appear on RAW this past week, because if he did, he may have ended up wearing Brock Lesnar's skin as a pelt.

4. Meiko Satomura (Last Week: Not Ranked) - She captained Sendai Girls to their third King of Trios semifinal and their second straight final match. They didn't win this year, but so what. Satomura is still a legend and a titan, dependent or independent of Trios.

5. Chuck Taylor (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Still the PWG Champion, Taylor gets props for not only getting the pin in the Ten Man Tomato Chomper Memorial Tag Match at Battle of Los Angeles, but for bringing attention to fingers in the bum.

6. Hikaru Shida (Last Week: Not Ranked) - This may be a thirst ranking, but good lord, look at her with this sword. This is even better than Business Casual Samurai Sword Kana.

7. Bianca Belair (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Again, I'm a lame and I still haven't started the Mae Young Classic, but apparently, she whips her hair back and forth and it's awesome.

8. Baron Corbin (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Apparently, Corbin lost his Money in the Bank cash-in because he spoke up against WWE's quack doctor giving a sham talk about concussions. He may have lost his push, but he spoke up for his comrades, which makes him A TRUE SOLDIER.

9. Smoked Chicken Wings (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING - Fried chicken wings are great, but have you tried them in the smoker? Especially when you use a mix of mostly cherry but a little bit of hickory, and it gets the nice bark on it. Oh man. OH MAN.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - Yes, the rumors are true; Oney Lorcan is still here for porkin'.