Thursday, September 14, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 204

How would Becky Lynch fare in an all-WWE women's tournament?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Oh my, fantasy booking to start this week off. I would split it off into four regions, first: RAW, Smackdown, NXT, Mae Young Classic.

RAW
  1. Asuka
  2. Alexa Bliss
  3. Sasha Banks
  4. Bayley
  5. Nia Jax
  6. Emma
  7. Alicia Fox
  8. Summer Rae
Smackdown
  1. Charlotte Flair
  2. Naomi
  3. Natalya
  4. Becky Lynch
  5. Carmella
  6. Tamina Snuka
  7. Maria Kanellis
  8. Lana
NXT
  1. Ember Moon
  2. Nikki Cross
  3. Ruby Riot
  4. Peyton Royce
  5. Sonya Deville
  6. Billie Kay
  7. Liv Morgan
  8. Aliyah
Mae Young Classic
  1. Kairi Sane
  2. Shayna Baszler
  3. Toni Storm
  4. Mercedes Martinez
  5. Dakota Kai
  6. Candice LeRae
  7. Piper Niven
  8. Abbey Laith
So, first round, Asuka beats Summer Rae. Bliss beats Fox. Banks goes over Emma. Jax wins the five-four "upset" over Bayley. Flair murks Lana. Naomi pins Kanellis in short order. Nattie wins against Snuka. Lynch takes the first over Carmella. All chalk on Smackdown. Moon beats Aliyah. Cross goes over Morgan. Kay gets the upset over Riot thanks to shenanigans, but Deville goes over Royce thanks to reciprocal payback. Sane beats Laith. Baszler takes out Niven. LeRae upsets Storm, while Kai goes over Martinez.

Second round, Asuka beats Jax. Banks beats Bliss. Lynch toughs it out over Flair, while Naomi beats Natalya. Moon beats Deville, while Cross goes over Kay. Sane and Baszler set up the MYC final rematch by winning their respective second round matches.

Quarterfinals, Asuka beats Sasha Banks. Becky Lynch bests Naomi. Ember Moon squeaks by Nikki Cross. Shayna Baszler evens her series with Kairi Sane. Semifinals, Baszler upsets Asuka, while Lynch beats Moon, setting up Horsewoman vs. Horsewoman in the final. Becky Lynch wins after making Baszler pass out in the Dis-Arm-Her (no way I'm making Baszler tap out, what are you, insane?).

To be honest, I don't think I've seen a Land Before Time movie after the first one. That franchise seemed like it should've been one and done. Conversely, if you ask my son, they could make 50 more and it wouldn't be enough. I guess it depends on how old you are.

He's Black and worked for the two major wrestling companies that are owned by Trump collaborators. Honestly, I don't even wanna see him in cruiserweights anymore, but I don't think Neville or Jack Gallagher or Drew Gulak belong there either. I don't believe anyone belongs there. But forget Alexander/Neville. I want Alexander vs. John Cena in one of those 2009-'11 before the Summer of Punk midcard challenge matches like he'd have with CM Punk or Jack Swagger or whomever where it would go 20 minutes and Cena would win decisively but you came out of it with the impression his opponent was a somebody. Hell, let him go in there with Roman Reigns too. If I'm going to be real, they both did that the last two weeks with Jason Jordan, and Reigns' match was better. Then again, Jordan is a different kind of worker than Alexander, but the point is that Alexander should be working everyone because he's that good.

If I'm going to go full fantasy on this, I'll include the whole scene and give you:
Now, if it's just promo battles, then Miz probably wins. But if it's a wrestling tournament featuring all the best talkers, then it's gotta be Samoa Joe, right?

Hoo boy.

To talk about domestic abuse in wrestling, one has to look at how domestic violence is treated at large first. If it were just a wrestling problem, then it might be easier to deal with, but how many times have cops been called to a 911 call by an abuse victim to leave without arresting anyone, or worse, further putting the victim under distress? Domestic violence is one of the least prosecuted crimes, and attitudes in pro wrestling, pro football, or in any job field towards it are grotesque. Many times, the abuser can say that the victim had it coming to them, and people will agree as if an abuse victim can do anything to warrant that kind of treatment. I mean, and how many times has an abuser gone onto murder their victim?

Of course, domestic violence, along with rape, is probably the most intimate form of violence one can inflict on another, because oftentimes, it happens between people who know each other and out of the public eye. It's how people like Tessa Blanchard and Viper can come out with supportive statements for known abusers like Mr. 450 and Bram. They implore people to "know the real person," but how many abusers actually beat their significant others in the presence of other people? Some of them do, but some of them can hide it and act like a charismatic or nice person among other people. In a way, those defenders are the ones who "don't know the real person," yet they're out there defending them. It's grotesque, and the fact that these monsters can snake-charm their friends into not believing the victims is a huge part of why this is such a problem.

So the police won't help. Friends won't help. Is it any wonder why so many domestic abuse victims feel so helpless and hopeless? One could think an uptick in incarceration might help matters, but the loss in pay from the abuser, who more often than not is the more dominant breadwinner in the relationship, results in unintended circumstances. It's not saying that abusers shouldn't face punishment or even go to jail. The way the American criminal justice system works (or doesn't work, am I right guys?) is another debate that ties directly into this one.

The problem isn't going away, and it won't even begin to recede until society at large looks at itself and sees how its patriarchial foundations make it so easy for violent domestic partners to get away with their crimes. Until that happens, perhaps the best way to remediate the issue in wrestling is the way fans are already doing it, by believing victims, boycotting promotions that book abusers, and publicly outraging over their activity in the business until those people leave altogether. It's not the most effective way of dealing with things, I admit, but sadly, it's all the people have right now.

The biggest reason is Vlad Radinov and I have not found a money mark to fund HOSSMOOT yet. Then again, maybe it already happened. PROGRESS Wrestling held a tournament to crown its first Atlas Champion, which is exclusively for wrestlers 205 lbs. and over. That being said, the weight limit leaves a lot of wiggle room for workers who are above the threshold but aren't really HOSSES. Matt Riddle is a two time Champion, and he's a skinny little prick! But the spirit of the title is for big guys, as Rampage Brown and WALTER have the other three of five reigns. But I agree with you; wrestling needs a true HOSS tournament, which is why some rich sap out there needs to get in contact with both me and Radinov so we can do this thing.

I think anything DDT does is the most creative thing in wrestling. Outside of Kaiju Big Battel, no one stretches the boundaries of what pro wrestling can be outside of DDT, and KBB doesn't do their fantastical stuff within the sort of "reality" of wrestling. Like, it's hard to explain outside of saying I'm not sure you could get Minoru Suzuki to wrestle a match in KBB unless he puts on a foam rubber suit or something (and he probably would if you asked him nicely enough), but he's a recurring guest in DDT. The outdoors stuff is really interesting and worth checking out, but really, everything it does really fully explores what wrestling can be as an art rather than just a faux sport. Check out the clip of the referee interrupting his count to have a movie-style flashback before halting altogether. To me, that shit is what tickles my wrestling fancy.

A lot of people are doing work on the mic right now, but the problem is that most of what I'm exposed to in WWE is in service of awful worked shoot angles. But one guy is really shining in another company, and it's Juice Robinson. The dude is cutting these heartfelt, gutty babyface promos in New Japan, and along with his revelation as being a top dude in the ring, it's making him seem like he's gonna be the next big American star outside of WWE.

God, I hope so, because that means he'll be relevant in keeping the Eagles contenders at least. That being said, I'm not entirely sold on him yet. One game is a way small sample size to make up for two years of drops and drops and even more drops. So I'd keep a watchful eye on him, but at the same time, he's going to get a lot of waiver wire claims because of that one game, because hell, week one is the craziest time for waiver wire transaction. I mean, I picked up Kenny Golladay, Giorgio Tavecchio, DeShone Kizer, and Jesse James based on week one performances. So I'd say go get him if you still can, but don't be too hesitant to drop him if he starts dropping passes again.

I disagree that WWE is a lock to sign Tessa Blanchard, because she seems to have a reputation backstage, and WWE seems to let that sort of thing fester and work against women more than men. But aside from her and Gabert, your other losers in the MYC first round are:
  • Marti Belle
  • Xia Li
  • Kay Lee Ray
  • Sarah Logan
  • Zeda
  • Reina Gonzalez
  • Renee Michelle
  • Ayesha Raymond
  • Taynara Conti
  • Vanessa Borne
  • Santana Garrett
  • Sage Beckett
  • Miranda Salinas
  • Kavita Devi
So, of those, Li, Logan, Zeda, Gonzalez, Conti, Borne, and Beckett are already signed, so WWE is going to do something with them. Ray feels like she's the only one who probably won't take any advances from WWE. Like Piper Niven and Toni Storm, she has a lucrative enough gig as both part of British wrestling's upper echelon of female performers and a high-card regular in STARDOM. WWE would have to blow her away to get her to jump, and I'm not sure the company is willing to do that. Garrett and Belle probably could do well enough touring indies and supplementing with customs, but at least Garrett has done enough NXT enhancement matches that she's pretty much Blue Pants without the cult fanfare. Basically, I can see WWE doing something with all of them but Kay Lee Ray, and in some cases, like with Devi, the question isn't "if" but "when."

Oh man, do I have a promotion for you. Longtime TWB readers will try to act shocked when I recommend Chikara with its Chikaratopia streaming service, but honestly, it's still the best bang for your buck. At $7.99 a month, you get the entire library and quick (although not instant) turnaround on live shows being added. Of course, you don't have to be monogamous. Several streaming services, like Powerbomb TV and Highspots Network provide a ton of content from several promotions for $9.99 a month. Basically, if you want to indulge in the graps and don't wanna give Vince McMahon your cash, you have options.
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