Thursday, September 28, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 206

Friendship. Friendship? Again?
Photo Via Hardcore Gaming 101
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

You're an adult, right? You need friends? Well, have you tried Adult Friend Fin... der... oh no, I've made a terrible mistake. In all seriousness, you should probably follow @brandonrohwer and @ChrisDGibbons if you want two friends. Will you be giving them any new information regarding the TweetBag? Probably not. But you will feel the warmth of humor and friendship, I guarantee it!

Enzo Amore as Cruiserweight Champion is an evil I spoke into existence over a year ago. That time was simpler, before everyone knew how little as a worker he'd grow in a year, and how much of a dickhead he was out of character. I know that sort of thing shouldn't count for as much as it does, but hoo boy, if you're going to be an asswipe, you'd better be a good one. Anyway, I don't think it's an experiment I'd run for too long, but it should continue with him blatantly cheating to win matches until he meets up with his final challenger, a guy who has experience with all the modes of cheating, one who has integrity and an eagle-eyed attention to detail, one who wants to make 205 Live a better place. I know heel vs. heel rarely works, but Drew Gulak unseating Amore as Cruiserweight Champion to head into a WrestleMania (pre-show) program against Gran Metalik, the arch-high flyer would be my direction, but who am I anyway.

Obviously, my first mate and navigator would be Kairi Sane and "Smooth Sailing" Ashley Remington. Who cares if their expertise is more nautical? Sailing a boat is just like flying a spaceship. Kinda. Anyway, second mate would be Paul London, because I believe he's been to space before. Reporting as bosun would be Otis Dozovic, because he seems like he'd be a good bosun, whatever that is. To fill out, my ensigns would be every member of every iteration of The Colony that has ever existed (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant, Silver Ant, both Worker Ants, Carpenter Ant, Bullet Ant, Orbit Adventure Ant, Missile Assault Ant, deviANT, combatANT, Pharaoh Ant) because my whole life has led up to me making this most elaborate wrestling-related Simpsons reference ever.

Bryan Danielson comes to mind because we share similar politics and are both wrestle-dads. Now, I'm about as far away from veganism in my diet as possible, but I also think that I could accommodate his dietary needs as I eat a lot of plant-based foods. He also seems like the least carny of the bunch, so I wouldn't have to worry about prescription medicines or jewelry going missing.

I really can't or don't want to make excuses for the ending of No Mercy, because I hated it for reasons I laid out here. Playing Devil's Advocate for a second, WWE already has laser focus on WrestleMania XXXIV's main event. In order to get there, both Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar need to be presented as larger than life, hence they took everything from their opponents regardless of how epic they were, and put them down with single finishers of their own. I mean, it's the most boilerplate, hollowest way of building towards a singular match, and it leaves scorched earth in the interim, but it's a way to get to the end, I guess.

As a kid:
  1. Cocoa Puffs
  2. Cookie Crisp
  3. Cocoa Pebbles
  4. Peanut Butter Crunch
  5. Frosted Flakes
As you can see, I enjoyed a good bit of sugar back in the day. Cocoa Puffs were the king, mainly because we weren't allowed to have marshmallow cereals until at least I and my older younger brother were in high school. But yeah, you don't get to 330 pounds without starting the day off with enough sugar to take down a bull elephant.
Right now:
  1. Raisin Bran Crunch
  2. [null]
I really don't eat much cereal anymore. The only one I really go out of my way for is Raisin Bran Crunch, but my breakfast is either HOT HOT HOT, or it's my boring daily routine of a FiberOne fiber bar, a Greek yogurt, and two string cheeses.