The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for November 6, 2017

LORD OF THE TRASH
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 5) - Look, how the fuck am I not gonna rank Strowman number one after he emerged from a trash truck to wreck shit on The Miztourage. I mean, it's the least I could do after he presumably spent eight days in a trash truck, or in a network of trash trucks. Either way.

2. Vinny Curry (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Eagles STOMPED the Denver Broncos yesterday to the tune of a 51-23 drubbing. They head into the bye week on a high note thanks to a monstrous pass rush and run stop. Curry was one of the spiciest members of that defense. He's been coming into his own the last few weeks, finally earning the contract he signed two offseasons ago. Everything's clicking. Hopefully the week off won't throw their momentum off for the big showdown in Dallas.

3. Toni Storm (Last Week: 1) - Eh, it's inertia at this point.

4. Asuka (Last Week: 4) - Did you see how she kicked the shit out of that jobber last week on RAW? Man, I wouldn't want to run afoul of her now.

5. Pizza (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Honestly, you don't know how good it really is until you don't have it for awhile and then order some. I got some bacon and mushroom pizza the other night with my family, and my god, it was like being in heaven.

6. Joel Embiid (Last Week: Not Ranked) - After starting slow, the Sixers have roared back with five wins in the last six games. The team is gelling quicker than even I thought, and Embiid (and Ben Simmons) are the big reasons for it.

7. Tsukasa Fujimoto (Last Week: Not Ranked) - She was a part of the extravaganza that was Manami Toyota's retirement, and aside from Toyota, she may have been the most important part. Toyota bequeathed to her the Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex, a high honor in Japanese pro wrestling. She must be worthy recipient, or else she wouldn't have been chosen. High marks indeed.

8. Rene Boucher (Last Week: Not Ranked) - A story just broke that Senator Rand Paul has been in a dispute with his neighbor for years over leaves, and that neighbor, Boucher, gave him a good, ol' fashioned Arn Anderson spinebuster. Many Americans salute his service of committing an act of violence against a member of Congress who keeps trying to take their healthcare away.

9. Lockjaw (Last Week: 9) - God, why am I still watching this show. LOCKJAW BARELY HAD LIKE A MINUTE OF SCREEN TIME THIS PAST WEEK.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) -*in the tune of Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 2"* 𝅘𝅥𝅮Oney Lorcan's here for porkin'.𝅘𝅥𝅮