Friday, April 27, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

...THIS Fucking Guy, Part the Nth
Photo Credit:
Four Men: arrive
Announcer: Please welcome the Undisputed Era!
One: announces himself
Everybody, Even You: ADAM COLE, BAY BAY!
Full Sailors: receive them generally favorably  Un dis pu ted! clap clap clapclapclap
ACBB: Relish this, relish all the gold.  Since the beginning NXT's tried to prevent this from happening, yet here we stand.
Robert Fish, Esquire: WarGames threw us to the wolves, and so did New Orleans, but at every single turn we remain one step ahead dripping in gold.
Roddy Strong: Why, Roddy, why?  Well, I don't want to pat myself on the back...
the Others: do it for him
Roddy: ...but I had an epiphany.  I did something for myself, and it was the best decision of my career.  All Pete cares about is the WWEUK belt; how long would it have been before he turned on me?  And why should it be Roddy v. the World when I can finally have some allies and take over NXT?
Kyle O'Reilly: The days of us being backed into a corner are done.  We can't be stopped; this is our Era, and we'll leave everyone else in the dust.
ACBB: I will now defend my North American championship against Oney Lorcan, right now, on my own.  I didn't need help to gain this belt, and against (borderline snickering) Oney Lorcan, I don't need it.
All: pose, all but Cole take their leave
Oney: goes after Cole's taped ribs
Cole: Owenzugiri!  Oshigoroshi!
Oney: Basement Euro!  Running blockbuster!  Gourdbuster over the top rope!
Kyle: comes back with trainers throwing up the X
Roddy: backplexes Oney into the apron
Cole: ...incrementally, as are we all LAST SHOT!
Referee: Winner!
Era: stomps out the Era
Danny Burch: runs in for the save, dropping the tag champs
Cole: Superkick!
Kyle: Hi, Dan.  Have you met Ax and Smash?
Roddy: leaping knees Oney in the mouth
Full Sailors: Un dis pu ted! clap clap clapclapclap

Heavy Machinery: show up to cheers
Riddick Moss and Tino Sabatelli: show up to boos and Tino Sucks chants
Team Holzerman: get along
Young Money: do until Tino bails
TH: splut splat GORSH Compactor!
Referee: Winners!
TH: War Raiders!  You can't just interfere in our match without reprisal!  We're calling you out!
My Boss TH: thumbsup.jpg

Dakota Kai, Clearly Shook: I do not want to talk about last week.  You know what?  Let's pretend like the whole thing never...hap...ppened.
Shayna Baszler: Look at me.
Dakota: doesn't
Baszler: Look at me!
Dakota: does
Baszler: You know what's funny? You traveled across the world to chase your dreams.  So how's it feel to know the reality is a division run by me is your worst nightmare?  leaves
Dakota: exhales

Tomasshole: jumps Johnny from behind before the ostensible main event, sends him into the announce table
You think I'm done?!  You're never going to get rid of me!  sets up for a Chicago style Air Raid Crash
Johnny: Superkick!  sends Tommaso to the floor Tope!
Full Sailors: Johnny Wrestling!
Tommaso: punts him in the Garganos
Full Sailors: You tapped out!  You tapped out!
Tommaso: Knee Trembler followed by the Crash off the ramp into two tables
Candice: comes out to check on him
Medics: take Johnny to an ambulance
Aleister: walks by as it drives off, continues heading inside
Tommaso: waves it goodbye from the top of a production truck
Aleister: marches into the building sans music, grabs the mic and enters the ring Tommaso Ciampa, by eliminating my competition...
SAnitY: inexplicably shows up
E.Y.: Johnny provided hope, and chaos took it away tonight.  Out of the chaos we will find greatness, find sanity...
Aleister: gets in his face, holds up the Big X Are you looking for this?!  Then let's do this!
E.Y.: Dragon sleeper!  Rude Awakening!  Death Valley Bomb!
Aleister: Are you done?
Aleister: Yeah, you're done.  Black Mass!
Referee: Winner!
Wolfe: tries it
Black: Masses him, too
Killian: has learned nothing
Black: Masses him, too