Friday, June 8, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

The only votive is vengeance
Photo Credit:
Shayna Basler: (after swaggering out) I showed the whole locker room via Dakota Kai last week that I'm tougher, stronger and better, but there's always gotta be one...
Full Sailors: Nikki!  Nikki!  Nikki!
Shayna: who thinks the laws don't apply to them, and if she ever gets in my face today, it'll be the last thing she EVER does...
Guess Who: shows up
Full Sailors: Nikki!  Nikki!  Nikki's gonna kill you!  Nikki's gonna kill you!
Shayna: (clearly slightly shook) That stunt last week was a joke. Don't get it twisted in that whacked out little mind of yours; I'm the Champ.  You're only better than me in your head.
Nikki: nods and smiles
Shayna: What are you, crazy?
Full Sailors: fire up the D-Bry chant
Shayna: I could put you to sleep in a heartbeat.  throws the mic at Nikki
Nikki: lets it bounce off of her, then smiles and eventually picks it up Do it.  Do it.  Do it!  Do it!  DO IT DO IT DO IT
Full Sailors: DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT
Shayna: doesn't
Nikki: feints
Shayna: flinches
Full Sailors: ohhhh
Shayna: shoves her down
"Stone Cold" Nikki Austin: hits some Thesz press and follows up with punches before some stomps in the corner, but hesitates over the belt
Shayna: drops her from behind, divests herself of her leather jacket
Nikki: drops Shayna and hits a herbody off the top rope before crawling towards but never touching the belt
Shayna: scrambling up the ramp, clearly bleeding from the mouth 

TM61: eat two NPCs alive with Shane Thorn hitting one of the best dropkicks I've ever seen, wins by donkey punching one of them We've beaten the Profits, we've beaten the Machinery, because we're winners.  All teams should kneel before the Mighty.

Earlier This Week At the PC: Lars trucks many fools, TM61 walks in and then walks out upon seeing that
Danny Burch: controls his opponent on the mat
Roderick Strong: takes advantage of Burch coming in
Burch: dodges the corner high knee and headbutts his way into the match's reset button Charging Euro!  Second rope stiff legged dropkick!  Release German!  Lariat!
Kyle O'Reilly and Adam Cole: jump on the apron and complain
Pete Dunne and Oney Lorcan: jump the guys who were on the apron, triggering a Pier 4 on the outside
Burch: Crossface!
Adam Cole: back on the apron
Burch: knocks him off it
Strong: Capture backbreaker!
Referee: Winner!
Roderick: Of course I am.  WHOO!
Pete: sneaks into the ring during his ex-partner's preening, then beats him like a rented goalie when he turns around
Kyle: breaks up the Bitter End by slamming his belt into the back of Pete's knee
Roderick: End of Heartache!  Huh, that seems vaguely familiar.
the Era: head up the ramp and throw up their gang sign on their way out

Kassius Ohno: is getting photos snapped
EC3: You're taking snaps of him and not me?  Kidding not kidding.
KO1.0: Mr. One Percent,  I can knock you 99 percent unconscious.  How about next week?
EC3: I can see it in lights.  Challenge accepted.
KO1.0: goes back to getting pictures taken
Aleister Black: (via video package) Lars did what people thought was the unthinkable last week and turned it into a reality, but his actions don't determine my reality.  Next week he Fades To Black.

Also This:

Lacey: has Kairi's name on her right hand, offers a mocking handshake
Kairi: shakes her head
Lacey: Slingshot elbow!  Grounded cobra clutch!  Handstand Bronco Buster!  One-armed slam!  does pushups during a cover
Referee: kickout
Lacey: Double jump moonsault auggggghhhh 
Kairi: recovers with the Ironside open all but playing in her eyes Interceptor!  Interceptor!  Interceptor!  Sliding K!  Kabuki elbow!

Lacey: gahhh kickou
Kairi: Code Red!  Alabama Slam!  Insane Elbow!
Referee: Winner! 

Tomasshole: You all gave up on me way before I did on you, and you shouldn't forget it for a damn second.   You disgust me.
Full Sailors: YOU SUCK!  ASSHOLE!
Tomasshole: I'm going to talk, you guys can shut up or I can talk over you.
Full Sailors: YOU STILL SUCK.
Tomasshole: Awesome.  So Johnny came out here last week and interrupted a match to say he signed on for our match in Chicago. Am I suddenly supposed to suddenly believe he's Johnny Badass?
Full Sailors: start chanting hat
Tomasshole: Adorable; anything to distract from the fact he nearly crippled his wife two weeks ago.  Whatever happens next is on him--all I did was defend myself.  You all know it.  He shouldn't show up in Chicago.  This fairy tale will not have a happy ending: his wife's broken, and Johnny will join her soon enough.  I win.
Johnny: shows up
Some NPCs: get waylaid
Johnny: beats on TC, including a tope to send him into the front row
NPCs: have learned nothing
Johnny: dives over the guardrail to continue dialing 1-800-Collect-An-Asswhuppin
Full Sailors: NXT!  NXT!  NXT!
Tomasshole: crawls back into the ring
NPCs: have again learned nothing
Tomasshole: drops Johnny from behind and puts him in the Ciampa Escape (!)
Referees: get him to release the hold and leave the ring
Tomasshole: waves from the ramp
Credits: roll


Johnny: Let's see how you like it, asshole!  throws him into the LED boards, drawing blood before putting on a proper Gargano Escape
Tomasshole, Bloodied: gets his Savion Glover on
Referees: aren't as successful with Johnny as they were with him
Credits, But For Real This Time