Friday, June 29, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

The new champs got some help from a slightly unexpected source
Photo Credit:
Aleister Black: How you deal with adversity defines you as a champion: in Chicago it was named Lars Sullivan, a freak of nature who still faded to black after I broke his jaw...
Full Sailors: booing his interruptor YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU SUCK
Tomasshole Ciampa: You stood face to face with adversity, now you should stand face to face with the devil.  If the title makes th man, then let's note in Chicago that while you barely got by Lars, I was beating Johnny Freaking Wrestling in the main event...
Full Sailors: BOO
Ciampa: ...with my hands tied behind my back!  So now that I've ended that fairy tale and I'm done with that, I can get back to focusing on business; that title you have that I want.
Black: really like the sound of your own voice, don't you?
Ciampa: BOY, be careful what you say.  When I beat you, get that opportunity, that title match, that moment, you lose a lot more than that belt.  sits down on the ramp in a familiar manner You lose your mystique, and in that moment your title reign will fade to black. cackles, waves
Black: leaves the ring
Ciampa: wheels to his feet, waves again and leaves

Vanessa Borne: I'm going to be the champ.  Kairi is stupid for dressing like a pirate, you're stupid for liking her, and I'm going to beat her.
Everyone: enjoys a good laugh

Kona Reeves, An Idiot: shows up
Me, An Intellectual: He beats a NPC with a shitty Samoan drop.  If he wants to be written about, he'll get better.

Full Sailors: Candice Wrestling!  Candice Wrestling!
Lacey Evans: Hmph.  trucks her a couple of times, works over the arm and grounds her
Candice LeRae: Enough of this.  Perfect Tribute!  Flying DDT!  Unprettier!  Lionsault!
Referee: Winner! 

Johnny LeRae: Candice LeRae is my favorite wrestler but I keep replaying Chicago over and over in my head, seeing Tomasshole rip the ring off my finger, spit, throw it in the crowd and win?  He doesn't GET to win.  This is far from over.  We've each won once.  I'm going to talk to Master Regal about one more time, next week, Brooklyn, the parking lot, the freaking grocery store, I don't care.  This ends when he does.

Heavy Machinery: The Mighty started this by stealing a win.   We will finish it.

Master Regal's Twitter Machine: Johnathon needs to move on.  He'll start doing so next week against EC3.

Candice: I'm not going to stop loving Johnny, but...recent events and being worried about his physical and mental health have distracted me from what I came to NXT to do, win the Women's World Championship.

Moustache Mountain: Look at us, we've gained weight!  show off the tag titles they won "Tuesday"
NPCs: come out
the Era, Especially Roddy: merk them and throw them off the stage 
Kyle: You two ponces winning was a fluke!  A scam!  It could've only happened in your hellhole of a country!
Roddy: We're going to enjoy embarrassing you phonies and we're not going to waste any time taking our belts back.
Some Guy: When you head back to the UK, you'll do it without your pride or those belts.  This is our Era, you're just living in it.
the Era: encircle the Brits
Ricochet: I know I'm not Pete, but you guys look like you could use the help.
Full Sailors: Rick O'Shea!  Rick O'Shea!
the Ghost of Teddy Long: makes a trios match for right after the break, playa

Mountain: controls things early
Tyler: bop BANGS the Era (phrasing)
Kyle: Pay no attention to me!
Ref: Hey!  Stop that!
Adam Cole, BAY BAY: cheap shots Tyler's rebound lariat attempt then tags in and stomps away
the Era: take turns whaling on Tyler for a few minutes
Tyler: lands a desperation Exploder and brings in Ricochet
Ricochet: fights off the Era, makes Adam DDT Roddy via neckbreaker and lands a turnbuckle 619 and springboard Euro
Ref: 2!
Mauro: Riochet pouncing like a puma there!
Everyone: narrows eyes
Full Sailors: One And Only! 
the Era: Corner knee!  Oshigoroshi!  Penalty Kick!
Ref:  1!  2!
Tyler and Ricochet: make the save and get tossed
Roddy: tags in 
Trent VII: Michinoku Driver!
Kyle: Save! 
TVII: lays him out
Roddy: lays him out
Bate: lays him out
Kyle: yup
Ricochet: that too 
ACBB: closes the circle
Everybody: down
Full Sailors: NXT!  NXT!  NXT!
the Tag Teams: eventually fight on the apron
the Era: win both Let's get him.
Ricochet: taunts the laws of physics yet again, backflip avoids a Total Elimination and lays them all out
Full Sailors: cheer loudly
Ricochet: Would you look at that, it's 6:30.

Ref:  1!  2!
Kyle: Yoink!
Ricochet: stares him down then topes him down
Roddy: End of Heartache into the apron!  Here you go, boss.
ACBB: Gratzi.
Ref:  1!  2!  3!  Winners!
Full Sailors: this is some bullshit
the Era: celebrate on the ramp
Moustache Mountain: look disheartened
Ricochet: looks like a man who suddenly remembers why he isn't North American Champion right now