Thursday, May 2, 2019

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 257

Was the Night King an unsatisfying antagonist?
Screen Grab via VT.co
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

You may not be the only one glad, but personally, I preferred the White Walkers over ｔｈｒｏｎｅ ｄｒａｍａ. As someone who enjoys high fantasy more than political drama, the Walkers held more tension for me. Add that in that some of the best stuff the show ever produced had to do with the Army of the Dead — "Hardhome" is one of the best episodes in the series — and it ticked all my boxes for good television. Additionally, the Walkers presented social commentary on climate change that I thought was the most important message the show relayed. So if you're looking for a comrade in your hate of the Walkers, you won't find one here. It's telling that I was stressing all last week in advance of "The Long Night" and now, I don't even care if Cersei retains the throne. That's how far the gap is.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
Please put a Meltzer like star rating and review of the Battle of Winterfell (the Long Night)
Been awhile since I read a Meltzer review, so bear with me:

"There was a promo package before the match started that just showed everyone looking tense, really built drama. Then the Red Lady came out and lit all the Dothraki swords on fire. It was a cool visual that was ultimately wasted when they charged into battle only to get wiped out. The first part of the battle worked as intended; it just felt racist to wipe out half of the only brown people on the show. Jon and Daenerys went up on their dragons to battle from the air. Dany looked natural, while Jon still appeared uneasy. He almost botched a couple of flybys, but overall, he held his own. The wights approached Winterfell slowly but in numbers, causing the combined living forces to retreat back into the castle. The Red Lady appeared to light the trench on fire after the fire arrows didn't work. She had a really good episode. The fire kept the wights at bay until they realized they could smother the fire using a few in their ranks, allowing a greater number to cross over and start climbing the castle. Their siege was really tense, but the main players like Jaime, Brienne, and Arya performed really well. The Hound's childhood neurosis against fire backfired on him, and he retreated into the castle, which on the surface seemed cowardly, but it was actually great psychology. Arya lost her weapon and also retreated into the castle to look for a new one. Meanwhile, Dany and Jon encountered the Night King on his wight dragon, and he got the better of them. Dany thought she had him pinned with dragonfire, but the King kicked out at two. Meanwhile, in the castle, Arya, the Hound, and Beric Dondarrion fought off some zombies. The referee threw up the X on Beric, who was rendered out for the rest of the match. The surviving two met up with the Red Lady, who told Arya she had to be the one to get the fall on the Night King, who by this time was approaching the castle and raising the fallen members of the Winterfell forces for his side, including Lyanna Mormont, who earlier had done an interspecies, intergender highspot jamming an axe into a giant wight's eye. The referee threw up the X for both Jorah Mormont and Theon Greyjoy, and it looked like the wights would win the match until Jon distracted the wight dragon long enough for Arya to get close to the Night King. Although her first pin attempt was countered, she was able to counter the counter into a decisive strike that won the match for the living at the last second. Good match, a little hard to see at times thanks to poor lighting. ****1/2"

The real answer is "anyone and anywhere," but I'm thinking you want specifics. I'll go by promotion:

Game Changer Wrestling: Nick Gage - This is the obvious answer. The current king of the deathmatch scene is the perfect opponent for the returning former prince. Judging by the video Moxley posted on his Twitter, he wants to jump way back in, and no opponent would be more perfect.

Beyond Wrestling: Chris Dickinson - Beyond wants to sell Independent Wrestling TV subs through its weekly live show, Uncharted Waters, right? Moxley vs. Dickinson is the match to do it. Dickinson has become one of the best big-match workers on the indies in the last year, and I'm sure he'll be able to get the best out of Mox as well.

Big Japan Wrestling: Masashi Takeda - Takeda really impressed me at Bloodsport in a match that took him out of his element. It made me want to see him in a deathmatch, and honestly, what better big-time opponent for him than the returning Moxley?

Chikara: King of Trios, preferably with Joe Gacy and G-Raver - Chikara and GCW have been buddy-buddy for the last few years, and Trios is the perfect opportunity to bring in a big name like Moxley with two other GCW stalwarts. Gacy and Moxley used to team together, and G-Raver seems like a natural fit to complete the trio (anything to keep them from getting Sami Callihan to officially reunite Switchblade Conspiracy).

Anywhere that will have them: Orange Cassidy - WWE misused Moxley's comedic talents, but I think he still would do well in a sillier setting. Cassidy feels like the kind of guy who could get the right kind of funny out of him.

The thing is they didn't really integrate Infinity War into the show outside of Jake Busey's character mentioning that "something was going down in New York" and teasing that Thanos' ship was in orbit during the whole time-travel/Kree occupation of destroyed earth story. AoS will be starting up in May, well after the aftermath of Endgame. No one on the show got snapped, so I wonder if they'll even mention it? Since I have really no handle on it, I'm going to play wait and see. I'm still waiting for them to explain away whether or not everything in the end remained in 2024 or got shuttled back to 2019. Maybe they'll use the show to do that rather than in Spider-Man: Far From Home. Or maybe they won't explain it at all. Who knows!

I'm really wary of non-homemade meatballs, so I'm making it from scratch. First, you need the right meatballs. Beef meatballs just won't do, neither will pork. You need the meatloaf mix of beef, pork, and veal. Season the meat with parmigiano reggiano or a similar Italian flavoring cheese of choice, garlic powder, bread crumbs, and an egg (one egg per pound of meat). Mix it all up by hand, and roll them into anywhere between one-half and two inches in diameter. Then fry them, either in olive oil or in an air-fryer. You'd be shocked at how well air-fried meatballs are. Set them aside. Hopefully you have some homemade Sunday gravy lying around. If not, a simple marinara would do. Get some garlic sauteing in olive oil. Then add a can of San Marzano tomatoes and reduce for a little while. Next, you want bread that will stand up to the sauce. You can't use any soft bread or it will fall apart. The best meatball sandwiches need a crusty Italian roll. Once you do that, assemble the ingredients — meatballs first, then sauce, then fresh mozzarella cheese. Then, to get the melt on the cheese, put it in the broiler until the cheese melts. Bam, you then have the perfect meatball sandwich.

You gotta get volunteers to cook real food and then give them a cut of the proceeds to compensate them for their labor. That's easier said than done, but it's the only thing I can think of that'll beat heating up bottom-of-the-barrell frozen shit.

I've gotta be honest; the only minor league sports I've ever watched are Arena football and hockey. Of the two, Arena football edges out hockey because it has trappings that improve the fact that you're watching guys who aren't good enough to be in the actual real National Football League. I've never been to a minor league baseball game, but Philly has a major league baseball team, so it's not like I have ample opportunity without going a half-hour at least outside the area. That being said, minor league baseball rules because they do gimmicks to get fans out there. I appreciate good gimmicks.

That being said, let me use this opportunity as a soapbox to say that Major League Baseball sucks for keeping minor league players in tow with shitty pay. It's a billion dollar industry. Pay your minor leaguers a fucking living wage.

I see what you did here in combining two questions into one like it wouldn't get by ol' TH. However, due to the extenuating circumstances of the person asking, I will allow it. For now.

Anyway, the lie I would try to sell to the dirtsheets is that Tom Magee's push was scuttled because he refused to do cocaine with Vince McMahon and not because he turned out to be awful. The facts would back me up in that McMahon has pushed a lot of people who were as bad or worse than the perm-haired muscle man. I mean, he gave Ultimate Warrior a WrestleMania coronation over Hulk Hogan. That's why I think I can slip this by the dirtsheet writers. Plus Magee looks like a guy who thinks coke would be detrimental to building his perfect body. Steroids are fine, but no, not the nose candy.

As for my top five soups, listed with no explanation:

1. New England Clam Chowder
2. Chicken Noodle
3. Italian Sausage and Lentil
4. Portuguese Sausage and Kale
5. Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana

First off, I would hope that I gave ol' turtle face the Joker-on-Jason-Todd treatment in a liberal state where it'd be hard to find a jury to convict me. Failing that, given the circumstances, that I'm on death row as a political prisoner rather than as some garden variety scumbag who killed in the heat of passion or for personal gain, I would eschew my favorite foods and ask for three gallons of refried beans. They say that when you die, you evacuate your bowels. If this is the case, I want the people killing me to have to deal with the messiest, stinkiest morass possible when scraping me off the chair. Capital punishment is wrong and immoral for several reasons, so if I have to be the victim of it, I want the people executing it to deal with my shit after I'm gone, especially if it's for helping to free the American people from Mitch McConnell's reign of terror.
Posted by at
Labels: , , , , , , , ,