Friday, September 4, 2009

Why I Don't Like Punk's Go 2 Sleep

Apparently, because I don't like CM Punk's version of the Go 2 Sleep, I'm a dark match jobber, which is fine. I'll take being in a dark match over not being on the card at all. That being said, the G2S, which is about the only thing I don't like about CM Punk, one of my favorite wrestlers and for me, the favorite to be Wrestler of the Year, isn't a bad move, well, not a bad puroresu move.

When KENTA does it, it's stiff, because the Japanese are fucking crazy and don't mind taking a knee to the head at high velocity just so they can look good in the ring for Dave Meltzer. It looks good when it's stiff. When CM Punk does it... well, he can't be as stiff because the WWE has this thing about wrestler safety, and that means Punk can't be knocking every other G2S victim out legit. It's the same problem I have with a lot of strike finishers. The simpler ones, the ones that don't need a lot of stiffness to actually look stiff like the Sweet Chin Music, Show's KTFO Punch or Regal's Knee Trembler, are fine. As you get more complex, though, well, it's harder to make a move look credible without stiffing the ever-loving crap out of your opponent.

Take for example Kofi Kingston's Trouble in Paradise kick. It's a nice looking move, but rarely every looks like it should KO someone unless Kingston goes full-tilt and nails them in the face. I think RAW this past week was the first time it ever looked credible to me, and it seemed like a fluke. Nevermind the fact that he has the fucking Ranhei in his arsenal and that doesn't finish the match. Ugh, sorry, workrate geek coming out over here.

Granted, even dumbed down, the G2S is a far better finisher than the Trouble in Paradise (btw, awful name or most awful name for a move?), but that's like saying that middle school cafeteria meatloaf is better than cat poop. Comparing the moves between Punk and KENTA is really no comparison. I applaud Punk for going to the puro well to get a finisher, and applaud the WWE even more for letting Punk keep the Go 2 Sleep name instead of lameing the name up for the kids in the audience. However, it just doesn't look good to me. I thought if he were going to take a strike finisher from KENTA, the Busaiku Knee would have been much better and maybe a little more credible to pull off:



I have no doubt that Punk would be able to get the hops needed to kill people in the face via the knee. Hell, maybe with his new heel persona, he could go with MMA ELBOWS~! as a finisher:



But whatever the case is, I'm in the minority, and that's fine. It's not like I'm used to being among the popular opinion when it comes to this stuff anyway. However, I'm just not all that impressed with Punk's version of the G2S, and when I say that is the only thing I find Punk fault for, it's the only thing I find him fault for. He's a tremendous wrestler, a tremendous talker and I feel privileged to be able to see him rise to the top in a company where guys like him normally don't rise to the top.

Just don't expect me to mark for Go 2 Sleep.