How Kelly vs. Phoenix Can Work Realistically

The Divas of Doom, hopefully they don't want to be oh-so-pretty
Photo Credit: WWE.com

There's a sinking feeling among many wrestling fans right now that the current Kelly Kelly vs. Divas of Doom feud is going to end up badly… very badly. I mean, Beth Phoenix-and-Nattie-Neidhart-are-jealous-because-Kelly-is-so-very-pretty badly. I'd be lying if I thought that they were wrongly cynical. Honestly, I have that sinking feeling as well, and there's nothing in WWE's history at all except for one "shining" moment where Chyna was pushed as a legitimate wrestler against the men (and it can be argued that Chyna herself wasn't a herself but a himself, but that's fodder for a whole other article), that suggests they will do right by the Divas of Doom.

That being said, there are some among those crowds that think the only worthy payoff for this is having Phoenix and Neidhart decimate Kelly and run roughshod over the division until Kharma comes back or until they sign Sara del Rey or whatever. While I'd rather see that, that's probably not going to happen. This is WWE. The good guys always win in the end, and they usually do so in comedicly simple fashion, ESPECIALLY on the undercard. There's a way that I think is best for everyone involved though, and it involves, as always, a happy medium. I think there was some foreshadowing of that last night on RAW as well.

Basically, I think Night of Champions isn't the end of the story. It also can't be. At the end of the Vickie Guerrero match last night, they hinted slightly at that fact, because they telegraphed that Kelly may be catching onto how to defeat the physically superior Phoenix without fluking it up real good like she did at SummerSlam. Usually, (and this isn't always the case, but it usually is the case) when someone gets an advantage on someone on the go-home show before a pay-per-view, the other person wins the match. For the feud to go on and really establish that the women are a thing to be reckoned with, Phoenix HAS to win, and do so quite convincingly. She should also win the next night on RAW to get Kelly's pesky rematch clause out of the way.

So what happens afterwards? There are shades of what we all want. I think Phoenix should really decimate everyone in her path on TV, from Alicia Fox to Eve Torres to the Bella Twins to even AJ. Meanwhile, Kelly is in the background, looking for ways to improve and to become a better wrestler so that she can compete with Phoenix in the future. Maybe she pairs off with Dolph Ziggler after Vickie turns on him, and he shows her the ropes. Maybe she gets consulting from Trish Stratus, Lita or even a debuting del Rey (yeah, that last one is a pipe dream, but LAY OFF ME IT'S MY FANTASY BOOKING). Either way, she learns that being smart, sexy and powerful is more than just getting Maxim 100 shoots and having Jerry Lawler drool all over her like a hungry dog over a piece of meat.

So, somewhere down the line, maybe at Survivor Series, maybe at TLC, Kelly earns herself another shot at Phoenix, and this time, she proves that she can hang with the Glamazon. In a hard-fought match, she triumphs, gaining some modicum of respect in the end, even if the next night on RAW, maybe they attack her again with a Kelly/Nattie program following.

Of course, that's contingent on a few things. One is that WWE is actually interested in long-term booking, and the fact that they're as impatient as they are with the Triple H/CM Punk angle as they are means that undercard angles don't have a chance. Two is that Kelly can actually deliver some facsimile of a good wrestling match when called upon, which might be able to happen (the SummerSlam match with Phoenix wasn't awful) but is still sketchy. The fact that I have to talk myself into something like the above happening, the fact that the narrative in commentary is still such that announcers are openly wondering if they have a chance with the Divas, the fact that WWE hasn't spent an iota of care on a Divas angle excepting maybe Kharma's debut (which was coming off the tracks as she was ready to announce her pregnancy, but those things could have been related)… all those facts scare the hell out of me that we're going to get a tearful promo from the Divas of Doom saying they're jealous of how pretty Kelly and Eve and the Bellas are and all they want is to be pin ups and all that happy horseshit.

I sincerely hope that isn't the case, because while WWE has a long way to go before they legitimize women's wrestling on the level of a joshi promotion or SHIMMER, they're not that far off from legitimizing it on a basic level. We all want them to go out and raid SHIMMER and the like, and really, they should, but at the same time, there's something to be said with playing with the cards you're dealt. Kelly Kelly may not be Sara del Rey… hell, she's not even Trish Stratus yet, but I feel like the fans have some emotional equity invested in her. I don't see the problem in exploring that in a constructive manner at all.