Future Endeavors 2/3 Power Poll: Lobster Head!

Too many limes.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro Ki PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Sheamus (Last week: 9)
2. Undertaker (Not rated)
3. CM Punk (4)
4. Daniel Bryan (3)
5. Chris Jericho (1)
6. Brodus Clay (2)
7. Kane (5)
8. John Cena (6)
9. Kofi Kingston (NR)
10. Kharma (NR)

And now, my ballot...

1. Daniel Bryan - The more I think about it, the more I think Bryan would be cooler if he had Vegan powers like from Scott Pilgrim. Like he could shoot lasers out of his eyes, make guys tap out with hammerlocks and cause Michael Cole's head to explode with a flick of his wrist. Go all out with this shit.

2. Willie Mack - He takes his nickname really seriously. One time, he gave Joey Ryan a Hershey bar hooked up to a car battery.

3. Green Ant - Green Ant has reached level 20 faster than any Chikara Wrestle Factory Graduate ever. He took down The Quack Knight sooner than most people do. He's harder than any Weapon in Final Fantasy VII.

4. Sheamus - Fellabrate good times, c'mon!

5. Mickie Knuckles - I have to wonder, how does one go about taking Mickie Knuckles out on a date? I mean, I imagine female wrestling fans have the same dilemma with Kevin Steen, but he's out and proud about being a zoo enthusiast. What about Knuckles? I mean, do dates take her to Baskin-Robbins? The circus? Slayer concerts? I feel like this is a question that should be answered, but if I were to ask her, she'd shove a Festivus pole in my urethra and call me a pussy for even thinking about it.

6. Chris Jericho - Totally unrelated, but I'm watching 50/50 right now and holy shit, does Seth Rogen only take roles where he can smoke up? If so, then holy shit, does his job rule. Also, Jericho's job rules, but yeah, we already knew that.

7. El Generico/PAC/Masato Yoshino - Rumor has it that these guys all took raccoon leaves from Super Mario Bros. 3 before all their matches, but it only it didn't make them jump as high or move as fast as they did without them.

8. Akira Tozawa - I imagine if Tozawa had a Match.com profile, it'd be nothing but videos of him singing bad J-pop songs, replying to prospective dates saying "FUCK YOU" and just him flashin' mad cheese because that's what he does.

9. John Laurinaitis - #SaveJohnnysJob

10. Allysin Kay - She's up for the lead in the all-female remake of The Goon. Wait, what do you mean the original hasn't been made yet? WHAT THE FUCK?