When you write a blog centered on wrestling, you get a lot of leeway from start, since no one expects much from wrestling or wrestling writing. When you write a blog about wrestling with a center on leftist critique and social justice, well, then that leeway gets a lot tighter, as it should. I, the primary author at this blog, need to hold myself to a higher standard than I would anyone else. So that's why I have to admit that over the weekend and on Monday on Twitter, I fucked up.
On Sunday night, I accused a prominent indie wrestler of being transphobic, and I took it far enough that people bought my story. He himself came to me and refuted it, and then later on Monday, someone dug up an old tweet of mine where I used a disgusting slur regarding a highly marginalized group of people, trans people. To say it wasn't the best day of my life is an understatement, but it wasn't by chance or by someone else's doing. I did it to myself, and I did it to other people. I lost followers on Twitter. I lost respect. I lost the moral high ground. And it was no one's fault but mine.
So why am I writing about it here? It's because I can't continue to pretend that didn't happen while assailing others, no matter if their transgressions are objectively worse than mine, but ESPECIALLY if they fuck up a lot less severely than I did. My parents didn't raise me like that. Why am I not taking an extended hiatus from Twitter or blogging like other people who do bad things and have to apologize for it? Part of it is compulsion, but part of it is that I can't really sit back and let things blow over. It doesn't mean doing extra, because when I went after that wrestler on Sunday night, I was doing something I shouldn't have done. As an ally to marginalized communities, even if I did have credible receipts, it is not my place as someone whose demographic is the exact opposite of marginalized to take that action. It was my role to support, listen, believe, and boost voices of those who are afflicted. I don't know why I did it, but regardless of the reason, I shouldn't have. ETA: I didn't have receipts because there were none; the wrestler in question is not transphobic.
Going forward, I'll try to do better. What does that mean? Well, for starters, it means not attacking people with flimsy evidence, obviously. I've taken heat, and I'll probably take more. That being said, the best time to start healing and trying to earn back trust is right away. I hope you'll give that consideration, but if you don't, I fully understand.
So why am I writing about it here? It's because I can't continue to pretend that didn't happen while assailing others, no matter if their transgressions are objectively worse than mine, but ESPECIALLY if they fuck up a lot less severely than I did. My parents didn't raise me like that. Why am I not taking an extended hiatus from Twitter or blogging like other people who do bad things and have to apologize for it? Part of it is compulsion, but part of it is that I can't really sit back and let things blow over. It doesn't mean doing extra, because when I went after that wrestler on Sunday night, I was doing something I shouldn't have done. As an ally to marginalized communities, even if I did have credible receipts, it is not my place as someone whose demographic is the exact opposite of marginalized to take that action. It was my role to support, listen, believe, and boost voices of those who are afflicted. I don't know why I did it, but regardless of the reason, I shouldn't have. ETA: I didn't have receipts because there were none; the wrestler in question is not transphobic.
Going forward, I'll try to do better. What does that mean? Well, for starters, it means not attacking people with flimsy evidence, obviously. I've taken heat, and I'll probably take more. That being said, the best time to start healing and trying to earn back trust is right away. I hope you'll give that consideration, but if you don't, I fully understand.
