The next group of guys and dolls are personalities that I don't go out of my way to hate on, characters with a strong redeeming quality or two and not much else. That quality could be workrate, promo ability or something else intangible.
Batista - He was in the bottom bin the last two times I did this, so what made him move up? After he came back from his most recent injury, he's shown some personality, enough that I don't want to throw shit at the TV when he's on there. Even if the material was dated on his Kanye West run-in on Maria's Diva of the Year acceptance, his delivery was pretty good. His delivery on the "I'm gonna knock your head off" line to Rey Mysterio was genuinely creepy in a good way, and he hasn't been asked to do too much in the ring. He'll never be a favorite, but I'm off the Batista-hate Train.
Maria - The other person in the picture is in this bin as well. It's not because she's hateable, it's just that she's so plain outside of her gorgeous girl-next-door looks. I mean if they were just going on looks alone, there are plenty of other girls who could fit that spot, but you're supposed to have worth as a wrestler or NPC manager/valet/announcer if you're in the business.
After the jump...Randy Orton - I've come to the conclusion that Randy Orton isn't a bad wrestler or even a terrible personality, but that the combination of marching orders sent down to him by management to be as dull as possible (classic heel, dudez!!1) as well as the schizoid way he's been booked before his Kofi feud has made him seem terrible when he's actually good. Still, he isn't someone I look forward to seeing on RAW (unless he's the first guy out after a terrible midget comedy segment as was the case on RAW last week).
Hulk Hogan - Hulk Hogan, circa 1983 to 1998, is one of my top two favorite wrestlers of all-time. No question about it at all. Hulk Hogan circa 2009 is an annoying reality star grasping for one last vestige of fame and thus is someone I'm not interested in unless he's doing cameo work for the WWE or in movies. The worst part is, he's now going to become yet another symbol of TNA's ineptitude, a guy who is going to show up on the program and say words, not wrestle matches. Hogan isn't going to be wrestling fulltime, he's going to be yet another authority figure-type, taking up segments with promos designed to get himself over, not any of the talent. Fuck that. TNA can suck on a cock.
Shawn Michaels - Dude can still work. That's about all the good I can say about him. Good thing for him I'm a huge workrate mark.
Daniels - Guyliner, really? Also, most overrated promo guy in history. I can't see how people think he's a decent interview. Still, he's entertaining in the ring.
Undertaker - Big drop for Taker, but why? He's still a great wrestler, but much like I had Jeff Hardy fatigue, I have Undertaker fatigue now. I can't explain why I'm tired of seeing him. Maybe it's that he just comes back and gets the title because Triple H thinks that CM Punk shouldn't be beating Undertaker (because Undertaker's a star, you see... and what was Hardy, chopped liver?). Maybe it was the annoying and possibly fake Facebook account that kept posting entire episodes of Smackdown in my feed. Maybe it's everyone shoving Undertaker/Michaels down my throat as the best match of the forever when there are at least 24 matches from the year across the spectrum of feds that I thought were as good or better. I don't know. But I can never truly hate the Dead Man.
Kane - Kane's kinda just there to me anymore. The definition of "meh".
The Briscoe Bros. - Maybe I was a little harsh on them before because of their incredibly offensive-to-me gimmick, but the Briscoes do deserve a little love. Of course, I still hate their gimmick with the fire of a thousand suns, but they're actually great tag team workers and when paired with the right personalities (read: Delirious) they can be entertaining out of the ring as well.
Brian Kendrick - For a guy that by all rights and purposes I should love, I feel an overwhelming wave of "meh" when it comes to Kendrick. He never fit in the WWE and the indies have passed him by. His promo skills are mediocre too. I think after seeing him live at DGUSA III, it really hammered the point home.
Pope D'Angelo Dinero - I can see why the WWE let him go. I see flashes in him, but he throws some of the laziest strikes I've ever seen, and his character is very, very flat.
R-Truth - I get joy in seeing Killings and Sheamus in the ring at the same time. The blackest and whitest guys in wrestling history, they could use them to calibrate the contrast on televisions. Other than that, I can tolerate him in the ring if I can mute his GD theme song.
Matt Hardy - Dude seems a bit too happy to be getting his brother's pops, knowwhatI'msayin'?
Carlito Colon - He's one of those guys whose rumored laziness backstage comes out every time he's on camera. Pass.
Chavo Guerrero - I stopped feeling bad for Chavo during the Hornswoggle angle when I realized that he was probably grateful for the job security he's getting for being Eddie's nephew and would be happy to join the Kiss My Ass club. Still, he's a shell of what he used to be. Can't really enjoy him all that much anymore.
Eric Young - Sorry, I can't take the leader of a major stable too seriously when he legit sounds like Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Bros.
Shelton Benjamin - Honestly, if Shelton just dedicated himself to working safer and cleaner in the ring rather than as Capt. Sloppy, I wouldn't care if he had mic skills that would make Roderick Strong look like Ric Flair.
Vance Archer - I can't put my finger on it, but there's something about him that I just don't like. Usually, I'm a mark for big guys who can project intensity and throw guys around without making it look like they're gently tossing them or like it's going to end up on Botchamania. I mean, I mark for Big Show and Mark Henry for Christ's sake! Maybe it's the tramp stamp?
The British Invasion - Oooh, look at them, they're from England, we have to boo them!!!1 I hate TNA so much.
Amazing Red - He looks weird and he needs to be carried in order not to look like he's exposing the business. Thankfully, there are guys in TNA who can carry him, so I guess I can't hate him too badly.
Abyss - Yeah, if Kane is meh to me, what makes you think the cheap imitation TNA has been trying to shovel on everyone will exceed him?
Dr. Stevie - I used to love Stevie Richards in ECW, and hell, he was an effective heel even if he was never put in a position to succeed as RTC Steven Richards in the WWE (that angle was destined to bury the PTC and not get any of the members over long-term... but no, Vince doesn't stroke his ego with his booking decisions). That being said, he's just sort of there in TNA. He started out with a terrible gimmick that has turned into just another Flock reunion, only with Raven being more decrepit than Al Davis on downers. It's sad, really.
Raven - The best Raven related thing I've heard in the last few years was that MVP socked him in the face for trying to bigtime him out of a seat. Wait, that's awesome for MVP, not Raven. My bad.
Sting - Either go to the WWE and do a WrestleMania as streak fodder for Taker or retire already.
Suicide - Here's another example of TNA just throwing some dazzly shit out there and trying to get the greater viewing audience to care without any reason. Why is this guy called Suicide? What's behind the mask? I mean, they've teased the mask removal, but was there someone who left who might be a decent payoff if they unmasked him? Other than the mask and the zip-line entrance, why should I emotionally involve myself in this wrestler, especially when TNA doesn't let free-TV matches below the main event go longer than five minutes?
Jerry Lynn - I'd care if he broke his neck in 2000 and the company was ECW.
Sonjay Dutt - If the dude took a powerbomb hard enough, he'd cover the entire ECW Arena in pus, that's how much backne he has. Most blatant attempt at gassing to get a contract ever? Probably not, but still...
Erick Stevens - Just there, really. I mean he seems like the kind of guy you get a dime a dozen at a random indie card on the East Coast.
Dark City Fight Club - Again, nothing against them, they just seem non-descript from the limited times I've seen them.
Helios and Equinox - These guys are sort of the biggest reason why people who hate on Chikara or lucha in general hate on it. They define the superfluous flip. I mean, doing a million flips in the air is impressive, but if the payoff is a wrist-clutch takedown... uh, what was the fucking point?
Cheech and Cloudy - Again, they're just kinda there for me.
Icarus - Chuck Taylor is great because he's an awesome wrestler. Gran Akuma is great because he really has shown his dick heel tendencies well both in Chikara and mostly DGUSA. Icarus... well he has that gaudy tattoo on his back?
Brodie Lee - He's kinda skeevy to look at.
Vin Gerard and STIGMA - Maybe it's because I haven't followed Chikara for as long as other people have. Maybe it's because I didn't get a chance to get attached to the Shane Storm storyline because I followed the fed after it happened. I don't know, but these guys aren't as interesting to me as heels as Colin Delaney is.
Shingo Takagi - He's a decent worker, don't get me wrong, but he looks so goofy to me, and I never liked his hair. I can't explain it.
Charlie Haas - lol
Slam Master J - For as much as I rag on TNA for their terrible gimmicks, the WWE is horrible at times as well. O HAI GUYZ LETS MAKE A WHITE GUY ACT LIKE A BLAK GUY EVEN THO THE BIGGEST DRAW IN THE CUMPANY STILL IDENTIFIES WITH IT!!!1
Alex "Sugarfoot" Payne - Dude needs to wear better tights because his bulge is way too real when you're in the second row.
Layla El - I liked her when she was with Regal, and really, she'd be awesome as the valet for the Ruthless Roundtable. But they ended that relationship so they could make the draft seem ZOMG UNPREDICTABLE~! and now she's on the annoying side as Michelle McCool's second. The lesson here? Michelle McCool makes everyone seem duller or more annoying by her very association.
Tara - She's a good worker and decent foil for Kong, but I can't get into her.
Sarita and Taylor Wilde - Sloppy and overrated.
Alissa Flash - See above.
Gail Kim - Wasn't she supposed to be good? I mean, I haven't seen her look even decent since coming back to the WWE.
Sara Del Rey - She is probably going to be moving up the next Sorting Bins because she'll have wrestled men in Chikara, but right now, she's kinda dull.
Daizee Haze - She just looks so used up it's hard to look at her.
Theodore Long and Vickie Guerrero - The epitome as to why I hate authority figure angles.
Abraham Washington - I don't wish death upon him like I did when he first debuted. He's grown into his role and has actually improved his delivery and material (whether the latter is up to him or not is a different story). He still comes off as very plastic though, and I don't know why he's gotta be on ECW.
Tiffany - She's very plain Jane for a drop dead gorgeous blonde. I don't like her in the GM role, but then again, the only GM I've ever liked on any brand was William Regal.
Mick Foley - Just retire already.
Dave Prazak and Mike Hodgewood - On one hand, they are the best duo when it comes to calling matches like a sport. ON the other... their voices just aren't cut out for announcing wrestling. I'm sorry. They're like valium. Prazak could be good with a more up-tempo PBP guy, although I think he tries to hard to be the "classic heel" color announcer.
