In case you haven't tuned into WWE programming all week, tonight's RAW is commercial-free, which bodes well for both the company (the last time RAW went commercial-free, it scored some of the best ratings of 2009) and for us, the fans (it was generally a quality show). One of tonight's major selling points is
Still, this doesn't forebode to be a total suck. If you haven't noticed, the WWE writers and bookers have been somewhat on the ball for the last two weeks, churning out two really good telecasts for their flagship show after a dreadfully boring Draft-cast. There are reasons to believe that this might actually be a centerpiece of the show rather than an anchor that drags it down. Since it could go either way, I'm going to pull out my Markometer to gauge several possible outcomes and the level of marking out associated with them. What is a Markomter, you might ask? Well, do you remember the short-lived animated series The Critic? No? Well, you should, it was a damn funny show, way ahead of its time. Anyway, the Markometer is a scale that goes from 0 to 5, 0 being the worst (X-Pac heat) and 5 being the best (HOLY BALLS I'M LOSING MY SHIT OVER HERE!!!1). Anyway, let's sort it out:
SCENARIO 1:
Bret Hart comes out in his jorts and wrestles Miz, defeating him for the US Title, with or without shenanigans.
MARKOMETER READING: 0
Why? While the Hitman winning the title would provide a nuclear short-term pop in Toronto, the match would be painful to watch, especially having to see Miz, a future multiple-time World Champion in the making, have to sell and eat a submission from a 50-something stroke recoveree. Having the Hart Dynasty interfere for a victory would be pretty annoying too, if just for the fact that the title would almost certainly be held up, and they just did that angle on Smackdown with the Intercontinental Championship. Pass
SCENARIO 2:
Hart in his jorts wrestles Miz. Miz wins, clean or otherwise.
MARKOMETER READING: 1
Why? It would be a throwaway segment. If Miz beat him clean, then it would be a pretty dull match given that Hart can't take the Skull-Crushing Finale. He can't take any of Miz's signature strikes to the head. He'd have a hard time taking that flying elbow in the corner. And if Miz needed Jericho to do anything except counteract Hart Dynasty shenanigans, then, well, it'd kinda violate every tenet of common sense that exists in this situation.
SCENARIO 3:
Clusterfuck! Match ends in a no-contest with Jericho and Miz brawling with the Hart Dynasty.
MARKOMETER READING: 2
Why? It'd be business as usual. Nothing too worthy of marking out over, but something that would progress the storyline in a somewhat effective but ultimately forgettable fashion. This is probably the low end of tolerable results that could come from the match this evening.
SCENARIO 4:
Hart comes out, announces to the world that he's in no shape to wrestle and names his replacement... either Tyson Kidd or David Hart Smith!
MARKOMETER READING: 3
Why? Okay, now we're getting somewhere. While this would fly in the face of Miz's stipulations from last week, at least we'd get a good match out of it. It'd be a better match with Kidd, but Smith is no slouch. While he's not the best big man on the roster, he isn't insulting like Khali, or looking at TNA, Matt Morgan. Also, Miz will definitely bump for him, which would make that match that much more entertaining.
SCENARIO 5:
Hart comes out, announces to the world that he's in no shape to wrestle and names his replacement... John Morrison!
MARKOMETER READING: 4
Why? Okay, now we're cooking with gas. Morrison's got nothing really to do with the feud per se, but he does have unfinished heat with Miz dating all the way back to not getting a receipt for the attack from last year's Draft. This could either be used as a segue into a solo feud between Miz and Morrison to finish things off for good, or for a tag feud between Jericho/Miz and Morrison and a partner of his choosing. Maybe R-Truth. Maybe John Cena. Maybe... the guy in the next scenario? Regardless, Morrison, despite what some in the Internet community say about him, is exciting, fresh and a good fit against Miz in the ring and in promo battles.
SCENARIO 6:
Hart comes out, announces to the world that he's in no shape to wrestle and names his replacement... THE AMERICAN DRAGON, BRYAN DANIELSON~!~!~!
MARKOMETER READING: 5
Why? I don't have to explain this, but I will anyway. Danielson coming out and not only challenging for the US Title, but perhaps winning? Every fan of indie wrestling would have a nerd-induced priapism for the next 24 hours, including myself. The match would be epic, since both guys are among the best workers in the company. The heat would be off the charts due to their history in NXT as well as the Miz's ability to make anyone he's facing as over as 1998 Steve Austin. The most important thing to remember here is that this would create an instant memory. This would be perhaps the most memorable moment ever associated with the US Championship since its reintroduction into the WWE, and that's why it would be the best move. Of course, that only means they're not going to do it, but I've got my fingers crossed that I'm wrong about that.
Photo Credits: WWE.com
Microsoft Paint Work: All me, baby
Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!
