Highlights:
- Moostafa was reborn as Black Angus in his match against Jae Rukin and Buxx Belmar, which helped him pick up the win.
- Lloyd Cthulowitz emerged from the briny deep not to break up a marriage but to submit Dan Barry with the Texas Cloverfield (elevated cloverleaf).
- Bastian Snow, the wrestling crab, slammed Glaad Baad to the mat on pasta his partner Pasquale the Italian Chef laid out to get the win for his team.
- Addy Starr took an ass-kicking but kept on coming at Michael von Payton. It took three MVP pumphandle emerald frosions to put her down.
- Taka Suzuki could not make it to the show. His replacement against Sexxxy Eddie would be El Hijo del Bamboo, ISW's "Other" Champion.
- Bamboo took the win in the most x-rated match I've ever seen with a flying hip press from the top.
- Kitsune took bath salts to try and even the score against Izzie Deadyet and was able to rip his "face" off in the process. However, it wasn't enough to get the win as Deadyet threw him by the throat off the top.
- Twiggy retained his ISW Championship in a falls count anywhere street fight after several chairs to the head of his opponent, Shitty.
General Observations:
- If there was any doubt that ISW wasn't for kids, the commentary sealed the deal right from the start. It was great commentary, but Andrew Dice Clay would blush at the profanity.
- Example: "Our entire roster consists of loads that should've been swallowed."
- Angus went from being an Arabian-affected cow to a Scottish one overnight, by the by. He lost his kilt midmatch, which caused his brother, Moohammed the Cowmissioner to remark "He's completely naked!" Thankfully, he was wearing trunks.
- Cthulowitz really likes to shake hands, doesn't he?
- On a show that featured an entire menagerie of wrestlers in masks, my favorite part of the show might have been Barry's insistence on using the hip toss. Well, that's a lie. My favorite part up until the Sexxxy Eddy/Hijo del Bamboo match, that is.
- For a bunch of comedy wrestling, a lot of the moves were really on point. Case in point, at the end of the match, Cthulowitz broke out springboard leaping superplex and followed it up with one of the best executed elevated cloverleafs I've ever seen.
- It's weird to watch a tag team consisting of two of the most flaming queens ever and see them cheered boisterously. Weird yet oddly gratifying. I was a bit uneasy during the whole Pasquale/Snow vs. Glaad Baad/Craigslist Homo match until I talked to the ISW reps on Twitter who cleared some things up. More on that later.
- Addy Starr really impressed me with how fearlessly she bumped all match for MVP. The best example of that was when von Payton reversed her Yoshi Tonic attempt into one of the hardest Splash Mountain bombs I've ever seen.
- Holy shit, is she limber and spry though.
- Gay, straight or whatever, I defy you not to stare at Sexxxy Eddy's bulge. It is absurd.
- Someone made an El Hijo del Bamboo sign that actually moved like it was dancing.
- I nearly tapped out on this match when Eddy did a backflip off the top into forced sodomy. Seriously, I almost lost my shit.
- I completely lost my shit when Bamboo got a reprisal on Eddy on that sodomy action.
- I don't know if Kitsune is a sock puppet for another, more well-known wrestler or if he's an entity on his own right, but this dude seriously impressed the shit out of me with his flips and kicks.
- The best spot of the night may have been Deadyet's "Dead People's Elbow", where he did The Rock's affectations to start and then Thriller danced while bouncing off the ropes.
- Seriously, Kitsune got wrecked on bath salts and took off Deadyet's mask to reveal another, skull-faced mask. Awesome.
- Twiggy and Shitty beating each other up with the same baking sheet was pretty inventive.
- I cringed a bit when Shitty threw Twiggy into the chair with the lawn dart as well. There was a lot of potentially unnecessary reckless abandon in this match.
Match of the Night: The best match from Grand Theft Ottawa was clearly Sexxxy Eddy vs. El Hijo del Bamboo. I can't ever remember laughing so hard in a good way at a wrestling match in 2012, and to top it off, the actual wrestling itself was done so well. A lot of times, in comedy matches, the psychology is so good because the tropes are so in your face. Eddy is a pervert with a big dick, so of course that's going to be the basis of his offense. Conversely, Bamboo is a fucking bear, so obviously he's going to use that weight to his advantage. It's funny to say that a comedic match was wrestled smartly, but hey, these guys were not only comedians, but they were scholars too.
What impressed me most in this match was how well Bamboo got around with all that extra baggage in his ring attire. Here's a guy in a bulky panda suit doing discus gamengiris and flying off the top rope like it's nothing. That takes a lot of dexterity, and it actually is more impressive than when, say, Low Ki does it. It just goes to show that their environment has that much more of a degree of difficulty.
The other degree comes from the fact that great comedy is way, way harder to do because it's way, way more subjective. For me, the raunchy nature of this match was pitch perfect. Here's a guy with a bulge that screams for you to look at, so of course I'm expecting him to use it to his advantage and have it used against him. As much as I loved the trading of sodomy, my absolute favorite part of the night was when Bamboo started working Eddy's scrotum like a speedbag. It was absurd and blue and pretty much represented everything that ISW is all about.
Overall Thoughts: Interspecies Wrestling is not going to be for everyone. Luckily for me, I'm a fan of raunchy, dirty comedy and demonstrative pro wrestling, so my first ISW show was more of a "What have I been missing most of my life" moment than a culture shock. People say this is like Chikara for grownups. I have to disagree, because Chikara does have a good bit of nuance. ISW is all in your face, and that's not a bad thing.
If anything, Grand Theft Ottawa opened a new world of wrestling to me, one where stereotypes weren't used to paint people as terrible like in WWE, but used to accentuate everyone's characters. Basically, everyone in the company in some degree was portrayed as a larger than life reflection rather than a real, subtle character. Even the "real" guy, Dan Barry, spammed hip tosses like they were going out of style, and it totally worked.
I'm very much looking forward to seeing more ISW in the future. Once this show gets out on DVD/video on demand, you guys need to check it out too and see what exists on the more adult side of things.
Results/Recap:
- Black Angus defeated Jae Rukin and Buxx Belmar. Belmar hit Rukin with a Ki Krusher, while Angus took out Belmar with a big boot before pinning Rukin.
- Lloyd Cthulowitz tapped Dan Barry with the Texas Cloverfield.
- The Food Fighters of Bastian Snow and Pasquale the Italian Chef defeated the Glaad Boys of Glaad Baad and Craigslist Homo after Snow hit Baad with a pasta assisted choke slam and pinned him.
- Michael von Payton defeated Addy Starr via pinfall after three pumphandle emerald frosions.
- El Hijo del Bamboo retained the ISW Other Championship via pinfall after a flying top rope hip press over Sexxxy Eddie.
- Izzie Deadyet pinned Kitsune after a top rope choke toss.
- Twiggy retained the ISW Championship over Shitty after tossing a chair at his head and pinning him with a jackknife hold.
