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| Hoss #1 Photo Credit: WWE.com |
1. Mark Henry vs. Vader
Well, this match COULD happen, but would it be the same as it would have been if 1992 Vader came walking down the ramp to meet 2011 Hall of Pain Henry in the ring looking more pissed off than my son after waking up from a short nap? Fuck and no, it totally wouldn't. This would be the most brutal looking match of all-time, no doubt. Some might think that Vader would be too stiff to work with Henry, but the Henry I have in this match would have been in year 15 of his WWE tenure, so nothing would faze him at this point. This is the Nirvana of hoss fights. You know it to be true. Search your feelings.
2. Daniel Bryan vs. Shawn Michaels
I wavered as to whether I wanted Bryan Danielson or Daniel Bryan in the match. There's a difference, albeit as slight as it is. Still, any incarnation of the American Dragon against his first teacher would be outstanding and epic. Michaels' biggest strengths and weaknesses were always contained in his bumping, which might not come into play here because of Bryan's style. That being said, that never really stopped his matches with Bret Hart from being awesome, did they? I may catch some shit for this, but Bryan is like a more evolved Hitman to me, and I think he'd get an awesome match out of HBK.
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| Hoss #2 Photo Credit: WWE.com |
This is bump porn, plain and simple. I just wanna see Hansen launch big blows to Mysterio (we'll make it 1996 Rey just so he can have a full health bar) and watch as ReyRey recoils spectacularly. Plus, it'd be a sight to see him deliver ranas to Hansen. It might even be hilarious in the way the big man takes them.
4. Owen Hart vs. Colt Cabana
Current Colt Cabana against Owen from 1994 might sound a bit weird if only because Lil' Brother was perhaps the most bitter wrestling character in the world at that point. No matter what his disposition though, Hart always made things look easy. A match away from the feuding with his brother with Cabana, a guy who wears his jokester nature on his sleeve, would almost certainly bring out the fun-loving persona of Hart that he was purported to be when the cameras weren't rolling. It would certainly make for one of the funniest matches ever conceived.
5. Mildred Burke vs. Sara del Rey
I tried to stay away from time lapsed matches as much as possible because of the stylistic differences, but at the same time, it's too tempting to see the best woman in wrestling today against the pioneer for her gender. Burke was reputed to be just as good (and tough backstage) as any man in her field, which means del Rey is more or less part of her spiritual house so to speak. I think this would just be an awesome spectacle.
6. Ric Flair vs. Manami Toyota
Flair, at the height of his run as NWA World Champion, against a woman would be hilarious, at least at the start. The man was one of the best overactors in wrestling, so to see him first scoff at the idea of wrestling Toyota and then beg off after she started to kick his ass would be one of the best potential sights in wrestling history. After the scripted sexism played out, I bet the two would have a pretty nifty technical match as well.
