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| FAILURE! ABJECT FAILURE! Photo Credit: WWE.com |
They Blew It
Well, that settles it. Pack it in, everyone. I really shouldn't continue on with this. I really shouldn't continue on with this. Ah fuck, I have to now, don't I? Fuck.
I was predisposed to hate Punk-Ryback long before it took place.
Wait, you mean that column he posted last week where he had this specific way the match had to go down in order for him to like it didn't already hammer that point home?
But what transpired at Hell in a Cell made it easy to dislike.
Yep.
Logic 101: Why was a referee we’d barely seen before assigned to Hell in a Cell? Wouldn’t that job best be given to a decorated veteran?
Does Mark Madden even watch WWE? If he does, he might know that answer.
Now Ryback is just a big goof who leads his own cheers. Boy, does THAT get old after a very short while. Imagine Goldberg doing that.
Now imagine Goldberg on a horse.
I don’t blame Punk. His facials, his desperation, his sense of gravitas, his mix of two-thirds cowardice and one-third courage…it was great. He’s great. I don’t blame Ryback. If that match serves his character, he handles it.
"Yes, the wrestlers in it were awesome, BUT THEY BLEW IT."
But it didn’t, and he couldn’t. Four minutes in, it already felt too long.
Yep.
It didn’t take long for Hell in a Cell to indulge fake wrestling: a fire extinguisher, a chair, a Kendo stick. Paul Heyman should have borrowed Jimmy Hart’s megaphone.
Why am I not surprised that a guy who doesn't want wrestling to be "fake" would hate every single one of the things that made that match fun. Seriously.
Sorry if you hate the constant Goldberg comparisons, but they’re inevitable. That’s what WWE wants Ryback to be. It’s a fair cop.
So a guy who hates wrestling and wears Hawaiian shirts like Tom Brady wears Uggs knows what WWE wants Ryback to be, but the WWE itself clearly doesn't. Seriously, does Mark Madden even watch WWE anymore?
Goldberg knew how to be Goldberg. Ryback doesn’t.
Of course Ryback doesn't know how to be Goldberg. He's Ryback.
The crowd hated it. Much of the crowd was behind Punk to begin with. The crowd died after the finish. Even the climb up the cage was anticlimactic.
So, the people chanting "FEED ME MORE" audibly were dead?
Tell me one other thing about Ryback. He wins. What else? His matches have been too short for the announcers to tell stories. His promos are all testosterone and spittle. How does that loss fit in?
Man, if I can see where the loss fits in, and the guy who gets paid to write about doesn't, then what does that say for the people paying him to write about it?
Booking doesn’t choose who’s over. The fans do.
I think by that logic, Ryback is "over" since the fans chant for him pretty regularly. Even last night, that crowd was terrible and they still chanted "FEED ME MORE." Not surprising that Madden didn't hear them chanting that. Why? Yep.
Goldberg was organic.
Except for the whole "Goldberg chants getting piped in" thing that WCW had going for him. But no, don't let the facts get in the way of a good narrative.
