Thursday, December 27, 2012

Instant Feedback: Does Anyone Watch Highlights of the Show?

Bully Ray came out to call out Hulk Hogan for Open Fight Night at the top of Impact tonight. I can think of a few things wrong with that whole scenario as the context played out, the greatest of which was probably Bully's surprise when Brooke said her daddy was mad because "he knows about them." I mean really, unless that was a different blonde that Bully was making out with (and for all intents and purposes, it could have been), he has to know. Even if it wasn't Brooke, don't these guys watch the tape from the week before? Don't they know that they're fucking being taped at nearly all times?

That's the frustrating thing about being a wrestling fan. These companies expect to have things both ways, that you the viewer have to get lost in the live experience as if it were a sport, but they get to have a fourth wall up for backstage segments. I'm pretty sure if Troy Aikman were getting interviewed after a game and Charles Haley was caught jacking off in the background on camera, that shit wouldn't have been swept under the rug. So basically, shows like Impact need to decide what they want to be. Then again, maybe if they did go to a straight-up scripted concept, they could the Jeff Hardy inner monologue bullshit, AND they'd have a way better crowd for their matches.

All in all, it was a frustrating show with plenty of highs but some maddening lows. For example, Christian York brought his working shoes tonight, but he was saddled with the most disinterested lump of sad sack shit in the company, Rob van Dam, to wrestle against. We get a delightful Joseph Park segment, but it's the same one as last week. Kazarian and Christopher Daniels come out to do a wonderful hit piece on AJ Styles, and we have Chavo "I'M EDDIE GUERRERO'S NEPHEW GUYS!" Guerrero come out to ruin it. Hell, even that wonderfully absurd Bro-Off between Jesse Godderz and Robbie E that featured Rob Terry being COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY OFF THE CHARTS AWESOME for the first time in his wrestling career was partially ruined by Taz simultaneously gay bashing the Robbies for their sweaters and then gazing longingly at the "tear drops" in Godderz's thigh muscles. At least we have an explanation for his disgusting homophobia.

But at least that was one fine main event with a great non-finish finish too. Y'know what, just let Austin Aries and Robert Roode wrestle each other every night. It'll be better than the misadventures of Hulk Hogan and the people who are too stupid to DVR Impact to see what the boss may or may not be aware of.

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