The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings: December 3rd

Best friends, there when I need 'em
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Daniel Bryan retains his top spot because he has finally learned the value of friendship. His heart grew three sizes this week, and for that, he keeps his number 1 ranking

2. Adam Cole (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only did he defeat Kevin Steen to win the PWG World Championship, he also was revealed to be a centaur. Weird.

3. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 3) - I have no empirical proof of this, but I heard on the street from my source Huggy Bear that Summerlyn has purchased a bazooka for use in the Family Christmas Death Match on Dec. 16th.

4. Northern Illinois University Football (Last Week: Not Ranked) - #MACTION IN THE BCS! #MACTION IN THE BCS! SCREW YOU, KIRK HERBSTREIT! RED, HOT, DIRTY #MACTION IN THE BCS!

5. Damien Sandow (Last Week: Not Ranked) - To wit, I didn't even know the answer to the third question he asked that dude he pulled from the crowd. Not only is he a better wrestler than most, more eloquent than everyone, and a literary maven, he also knows science. SCIENCE.

6. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 4) - Layla and Eve Torres went over to Afghanistan to help cheer up the troops, which is a great reflection on del Rey and her training.

7. Jakob Hammermeier (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Man, Hammermeier did everything he could to help Tim Donst win the Chikara Grand Championship, and Donst kept abusing him like it was Jakob's fault and not his own. Dude, Jakob was the only reason you didn't lose that match long before you actually did, dick.

8. Neil deGrasse Tyson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Dude was straight owning the Mayan Apocalypse hysteria on Twitter. However, his crack about being the guy to tell you when and where any cosmic doom will happen kinda freaks me out. WHAT IF HE'S REALLY A SUPERVILLAIN? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

9. Wawa Spicy Tomato Bisque (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Sure, it tastes like blush sauce, but I happen to like blush sauce, so shut up.

10. Mark Henry (Last Week: 10) - MARK HENRY FACT: Mark Henry once traveled around the world on a boat pulled by steroid-injected sea otters and Alex Riley.