Oh Baby, She's a Rockstar: SHIMMER Vol. 45 Review

She gon' plant Martinez' head right on the floor, she is.
Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS

Heeeeeyyy, sexy blogger, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Oppa TH Style.

Highlights:

• Courtney Rush opened the SHIMMER weekend with a decisive victory over Rhia O'Reilly, via the Skyward Suplex (Olympic Slam).
• Despite showing amazing tag team synergy, Shazza McKenzie and Veda Scott were no match for Mena Libra and Melanie Cruise. Cruise pinned Scott with a big guillotine leg drop.
• Sara del Rey folded up Leon like an accordion with a power bomb and alligator clutch en route to victory.
• Sweet Saraya Knight basically destroyed the crowd AND Davina Rose, defeating her with a single leg Liontamer.
• In a hard-fought but friendly match, Jessie McKay took down Mia Yim with the Boyfriend Stealer (sitout uranage front slam).
• Kellie Skater's ROO ROIDS could not help her as she fell victim to the sky twister moonsault from Ray.
• Hailey Hatred and Kalamity threw everything they had at Kana and LuFisto and vice versa in a veritable tag war sprint. Hatred got the duke over Lufi with the running Liger Bomb.
• Portia Perez hit Christina von Eerie with a superkick out of nowhere for the victory.
• Ayumi Kurihara and Ayako Hamada retained their Tag Team Championships over Regeneration X as Hamada pinned Allison Danger with the AP Cross.
• In an all-out brawl, Athena finally felled Mercedes Martinez with the O-Face.
• Despite interference from her tag team partner Perez, Nicole Matthews was unable to wrest the SHIMMER World Championship from Cheerleader Melissa, falling to the Air Raid Crash.

General Observations:

• Rush's lipstick was really, really red.
• O'Reilly did her best to try and heel it up for the crowd, at one point, pointing out that one of the fans was wearing an obviously Scottish hat (on St. Patrick's Day). It felt forced though.
• Rush: "This is St. O'Reilly's Day!" O'Reilly: "No it's not, it's St. Patrick's Day! Are you stupid?"
• The crowd chanted for Rush to break out an Irish whip. And you thought wrestling crowds were annoying.
• Rush had O'Reilly in the corner for the 10 punch, but on 9, O'Reilly sneaked out and dumped Rush face first on the turnbuckle. She then went in, said "THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT" and counted "1 POTATO" with her corner punches up to 5.
• Scott and McKenzie doing tandem, synchronized flair dancing during their ring intro was playfully amusing. In fact, their whole interplay during the match was fantastic, from roshambo-ing for the right to go first to their quick tags throughout the contest. I hope this team never breaks up.
• Melanie Cruise is a certified hoss. Amazing how she towered over everyone in the match, including her partner.
• Cruise's leg drop from the top was impressive for a wrestler of her size, even moreso that she seamlessly segued into a pin from it.
• First BRYCE~! sighting of the weekend was for the del Rey/Leon match.
• Portia Perez on commentary broke out the nugget that Leon was del Rey's strength and conditioning coach in Japan. She's not just there for snark and rooting on the bad guys, folks.
• For a little wrestler, Leon's spear looked brutal as all get out. Bigger wrestlers who use it should take note.
• del Rey broke out the hard school girl roll up into the corner on Leon here. I just take the opportunity to say I love those kinds of add-ons to simple moves.
• Man, Leon sure has a pretty frog splash.
• The powerbomb del Rey used to finish off Leon was BRUTAL, but being that she spends most of her time wrestling in the Japanese joshi ranks, Leon was probably used to it.
• Between entering the arena and getting to the ring, Saraya Knight shook a fan by his mask, got in the faces of at least two fans on ringside, ripped up a sign, and knocked the drink from another fan's hand. In other news, I think I'm in love.
• Knight demanded the mic from announcer Joey Eastman, and when he didn't give it to her fast enough, she slapped the shit out of him, before launching into a tirade about how her daughter Britani is no longer her daughter and how she hates America for adopting her. If you watched this and didn't become an instant fan of hers, you are doing it wrong.
• I counted at least three kicks to Rose's feminine area during this match. It's almost like Knight knew Rose was going to WWE in six months and was sending her off. Weird.
• McKay didn't bring out her parrot as valet? I CALL SHENANIGANS.
• There wasn't really a whole lot to write home about during Yim/McKay except that it was a nice technical display between two friendly competitors.
• That being said, I found Perez's commentary calling all the names of McKay's moves lame kinda amusing.
• "She has muscles so big, she makes the Incredible Hulk green with envy..." Oh my Lord, Kellie Skater is so goddamn amazing, and to his credit, so was Eastman making that actual call during her intro.
• Skater did the strongwoman pose to start, but Ray was having none of it.
• Skater tried kipping up twice before asking Ray to help her up, and almost immediately, she gave Ray an eye poke. Teehee.
• Instead of reaching for the ropes while trapped in a leg lace, Skater inched towards her corner, drank her ROO ROIDS, and broke out of the hold all beastlike.
• SQUAT THRUSTS WITH A MASKED JOSHI! Yeah, chant "Roo Roids!" derisively all you want, Berwyn. You're just jealous.
• Ray busted out a powerbomb out of a cartwheel. Process that for a second. Cartwheel. Powerbomb. Mind was blown.
• Hailey Hatred and Kana kicked off the tag match with kick jousting, then tagged in their respective partners, proceeded to go to the mat and boot each other while sitting back. I'm usually annoyed by trade-offs like that, but that's because it's usually Davey Richards doing it after 20+ minutes of grueling match action. It's a perfect way to kick a match off though.
• Oh my Lord, I would hate to be across the ring from Hatred knowing that when she chops, she's choppin' wood. Oh man, I almost felt bad for Lufi until I realized she probably thought Hatred wasn't chopping hard enough.
• I've seen Everest German suplexes (and Hatred broke one out later on in the match), but an Everest-style leg-trap cradle suplex? Hailey Hatred, get down with your bad self.
• I know they packed a lot into the match, but it's a testament to how hard all four women went that I thought the match went too short. Hey, Dave Prazak, give us Hatred and Kalamity vs. LuFisto and Kana as a main event for the Tag Titles soon, please!
• Portia Perez came out cantankerous for her match, although not nearly as ornery as Knight was for hers. In fact, I'd rate Perez at a 0.37 Saraya on the Saraya Tempestuousness Scale (1.0 is the highest, which is where Knight is at all times).
• Fan yelled "YOU'RE A POOR SPORT!" at Perez, who rightfully retorted "You had SIX MONTHS to come up with your insult." Seriously people, you come at the Queen, you best not miss.
• Perez done tried to muss up von Eerie's mohawk, but it didn't really work. I wanna know what kind of hair products von Eerie uses, because they work above and beyond the normal conditions.
• Someone in the crowd yelled "Don't get angry, midget!" to Perez as she was visibly frustrated with von Eerie. Okay, that one was better, but not by much.
• Straitjacket lungblower! Nice offense from von Eerie there.
• LEVA BATES COSPLAY REPORT: She came out as Rocky, while Allison Danger came out as the whitest Apollo Creed you ever done did see.
• Danger demanded to tag in so she could live her dream of wrestling Hamada. Bates got her camera to take a picture, which turned into a picture of Hamada, Danger, and Kurihara, which turned into BRYCE~! taking a picture of all four of them, which turned into Regeneration X cheap-shotting the Champs after all the frivolity was finished. It really was brilliant.
• Perez got back to her broadcast position after the start of the match, but her ripping on Re-X for their ring gear was fantastic.
• Martinez didn't wait to assail Athena, clocking her halfway out of her entrance. She even took Athena's Wrestling Goddess comic book cover style shirt and choked her with it. Truth be told, I find EEEEEEVIL Mercedes Martinez a hell of a lot more interesting than generic fighting spirit babyface Martinez. Best move ever.
• Man, Martinez was just ABUSING Athena early on in the match. It almost felt like I was watching a newbie getting hazed.
• I liked how the ref didn't even begin to work his count when they were on the outside. Truth be told, there are just some matches where formalities like that should be forewent.
• The O-Face off the apron is going to be remembered most in this match, but the most brutal thing in the entire contest? Hands down, it was Athena drilling Martinez to the floor with the stump DDT right off the barricade. OUCH.
• Nicole Matthews was rockin' the Dirty Dirty Sheets "Portia Perez Hates Me" shirt, only with masking tape over "Hates" and with "Likes" written on it and (ish.) appended onto the end. It's the little things.
• There was quite a bit of bad blood in this match like there was in the prior one, given the war they had at Vol. 27 as well as Matthews attacking Melissa after she won the belt at Vol. 44. Action spilled to the outside, and Melissa put in her application to join the Hoss Guild with her wheelbarrow pick-up of Matthews and slamming her head against the barricade. Seriously, that was a Festivus-level feat of strength if I ever saw one.
• Twice in this match, Matthews tried to use Melissa's curb stomp against her, and twice she failed. Later on, Melissa would return the favor and stomp her seven times in a row. I felt like shouting "STOP IT, SHE'S ALREADY DEAD!" but it would've been futile. This happened in March.
• Perez made her second exit from the broadcast booth of the evening to give Melissa a belt shot after Matthews pulled BRYCE~! in the path of a Melissa missile dropkick. Those Canadian Ninjas are so mean to BRYCE~! I may file a complaint.

Match of the Night: Athena vs. Mercedes Martinez - There's something to be said about being able to engender hate through only encounters in the wrestling ring. Anyone can pull off a feud where the main interests despise each other for actions that take place separate of the action in the ring. The match in and of itself is the catharsis, the resolution of the hit-and-run, or the cuckolding, or the spilling of hot coffee. But what about when you take a series of matches and build a story just from what goes on in the ring? That's wrestling in its purest form. That's Athena vs. Mercedes Martinez.

Even though I came in on this series in the third and ostensibly final act, I could have gotten the gist of what was going on even without the recaps. You don't go to the outside and attempt to inflict grievous bodily harm through usage of the metal barricades for someone you're embroiled in a professional rivalry with. Martinez, from choking the life out of Athena with her own t-shirt to trying to launch her into the legions of Berwyn faithful who had, in her mind, turned their backs on her, displayed the kind of loathing that really sinks in deep. Athena knew she was in the fight for her life. After all, Martinez tried to injure her outside the confines of the match. So why not fire back with every mode of escalation without resorting to things that would cost her what she had been craving in the first two encounters anyway?

Nestled into this war that primarily was waged outside of the ring was probably one of the best displays offensive prowess I've seen from Athena, who proved she's as much the rockstar as her theme song suggests. There were the two O-Faces, including the one where she launched herself from the apron, her most impressive one yet. Then there was the stump DDT to the floor from the barricade. Martinez took her lumps and fired back accordingly. Still, she fell on her sword, and Athena was a made wrestler by the end of the affair.

Overall Thoughts: There were a lot of really neat things going on on this particular volume. Whether it was the fusion of what could be the next great SHIMMER tag team in Veda Scott and Shazza McKenzie, Saraya Knight going HAM on a whole crowd and Davina Rose, Kellie Skater taking her antics to a higher level, or Portia Perez being Portia Perez, there was a lot to be happy about from a character standpoint. Maybe this was the event to show people who think that SHIMMER is all just wrestlers trying to fight for abstract concepts in ways that would make Gabe Sapolsky cringe.

However, I think Vol. 45's calling card is mostly twofold. First, this may have been the best volume I've seen from an in-ring standpoint in my time as a SHIMMER fan. Eleven matches were on the card. All of them had redeeming qualities, and eight of them legitimately impressed me to the point where I'd recommend people sought them out. Secondly, this is where Athena felt like the biggest deal she possibly couuld have outside of the ACW setting. From the match itself to how Dave Prazak and Portia Perez were talking about her, she had finally arrived.

Overall, I'd highly recommend this show. SHIMMER takes a lot of lumps sometimes, but this DVD volume to me speaks to how high their ceiling really is. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the bounty from the weekend now.