Wrestling Six Packs: Ways WWE Could Improve Without Changing Much

Why isn't Justin Gabriel getting more matches?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

People used to say that wrestling was "cyclical" and were waiting for it to boom again by now. People also didn't really understand things like "small sample sizes" or why on earth wrestling boomed in the first place when it did. I'm fully convinced that it won't explode again until either Vince McMahon dies or a legitimate second company blooms up to compete with WWE. As much as it sucks for the companies that are actually doing the lion's share of innovation on the indies and abroad, mainstream popularity lives and dies with WWE. For that to happen, something huge has to change in the mainstream. That's not happening now, obviously because there's no competitor and McMahon is still alive. However, here are six things that I think WWE can do to at least fix the problems they have and at least tread water creatively until the next big thing comes along.

1. Hey, that "deepest roster ever" that WWE supposedly has? Yeah, make use of that.

WWE has a million wrestlers, and a billion more in developmental, right? So why is it that we've had to suffer through maybe like three iterations of a WWE Championship match in the last few years? IN the past, there were fewer active guys on the roster and half the belts, but for the most part, there were fresh WWF Championship matches month to month. Even in the post-Mania 2000 period, when it seemed like Rock vs. Triple H would neeeeeeever end, they still broke things up with random Undertaker sightings to take them to the point where they could have Kurt Angle and He Who Shall Not Be Named getting spot PPV title shots. Why the hell can't Kofi Kingston get a token shot while John Cena or Daniel Bryan got other stories?

And that's not even getting to the problem of secondary title feuds dragging on while the Champions bounce from losing to guys higher than they are on the food chain and defeating the same people for months on end in title defenses. Is there any reason why The Miz is still feuding with Antonio Cesaro? What about Justin Gabriel? How about a Three Man Baaaaaand challenge series? Hey, let's flesh out the tag division while we're at it, and maybe let WWE women develop outside of the Divas Championship. Again, million wrestlers on the WWE roster and billion in NXT. There's no reason why matchups have to get stale, and the only time a guy like Tensai can get on screen is by wearing lingerie and feeling ASHAMED for it.

2. Unify the titles.

Having more titles seemed like a good idea when they pretended RAW and Smackdown were competitors and not a glorified, stratified major conference/mid-major conference NCAA set up. Then, they just sort of pretended that the brand split never existed, but they never cleaned up the vestiges. So now, we have more belts for the writers to keep important when they had a hard time keeping the ones they had around before they swallowed WCW feel like they meant something. The fewer MacGuffins they have to keep track of, the fewer MacGuffins they can screw up. And hey, maybe if there are fewer, the point will get driven home among the wrestlers, agents, writers, and Vince McMahon that they're important things and not to be trifled with.

3. Use announcers who are actually good at their jobs.

I either have grown to like Michael Cole, or I am coming down with a mean case of Stockholm Syndrome. JBL can be pedantic at times, but the guy has an announcer's voice. Those guys I'm comfortable with. But the other guys they have on the two main shows aren't cutting muster, and it's bringing down the commentary. Jerry Lawler clearly doesn't care unless he can lech out, and Josh Matthews is kinda like the lost puppy. When half of each team is not good, then it's going to make the jobs of the guys they're partnered with that much harder. Notice how much better Cole was when he was just with JBL? Cole had someone to REALLY call him out his bullshit. Even worse, when they would bring back Jim Ross, they'd have him in as a passive, confused third party color commentator. That's not Jim Ross' strength. That man has to be BAH GAWDIN' and STAWNE CAWLDIN' all across the announce table.

So here's the thing. I'm not saying Ross has to be the guy who comes back. He's probably better served in his role down in Florida (and at his age and with his sauce business, he probably doesn't want nor need to be out on the road all those days). But it's not like WWE has a guy who's awesome at play-by-play commentary just wasting away on the preshows and Superstars... oh wait, they do. Scott Stanford could totally take over Smackdown. Pair him with someone like Mick Foley or Nigel McGuinness or Roddy Piper or whoever else has a strong personality, good conversational skills, and a sense of timing. Having a strong commentary track is the best way to watch an episodic, story-based show like RAW/Smackdown. Otherwise, it's better to have no commentary than bad commentary.

4. Reduce the number of recaps, and streamline them.

What's worse, recapping something that literally happened thirty seconds before the airing of said recap, or wholesale recap of a segment that had lasted for more than like two minutes? Trick question, they're both super fucking awful. I know there are plot points that need to be hammered home, but do we really need to see five million recaps of The Rock calling CM Punk LLAMA PISS NO TESTICLE DOO DOO BREATH KUNG PAO GENERAL TSO'S PERUVIAN ROTISSERIE DORK ASS? Especially when guys like Kingston, Big E. Langston, the Prime Time Players, and 3MB (among others) have natural personality that they rarely get to show outside of a cameo here and there? Recaps are necessary, but for how good WWE's production team can be, they absolutely suck at editing and selectivity.

5. Stop using the same damn finishes over and over again.

You know what happens when you use a specific trope too many times? It becomes expected. Then it loses impact. I swear, if I see a heel walk out on a match because he/she knows he's/she's about to get pinned, I'm going to drive up I-95 while eating high-fiber bars just so I can shit on Vince McMahon's desk. Seriously, why would Cody Rhodes want to walk out on a match with John Cena when he's not a Champion of anything right now? WHY? And seriously, the whole "distracted by theme music/TitanTron" finish is so overused that I'm pretty sure they haven't used it for the same reason why you can't jerk off more than a couple of times a day before it gets raw and red. There are literally an infinite amount of ways to end a match, even with shenanigans. There's no reason why these idiots, whether they be the writers or agents, need to keep rehashing.

6. John Cena. Do something.

John Cena is the veritable sticking point. He seems essential for the vast majority of fans, and yeah, stories surrounding him drive business. But there's a disconnect in the way they book him and the way they book everyone else. Even in his heyday, The Rock was a guy who was generous with the people feuding with him. This feud with CM Punk has been great from a back-and-forth standpoint, and really, the biggest fault has been with Rock's homophobic/misogynist language, not anything he's been portrayed as over Punk. It's been very compelling. When was the last John Cena feud you could say that about? Rock? Summer of Punk? I don't need him shitting on Dolph Ziggler and then kicking out of everything. Why not have competitive matches with Cena against other people? It wouldn't hurt. He doesn't have to be mortal. He just has to look like it from time to time. When he's not Super-Cena, he's one of the best wrestlers on the roster. If they just realized that, they could harness so many more options in storytelling and appeal to so many more parts of the audience.