Thursday, February 21, 2013

Best Coast Bias: The Show Must Go On

Show-del Rio IV?  Well, actually...
Photo Credit: WWE.com



So, you need somebody to go against Alberto del Rio, do you?  Too much heat on the anointed one, the Tea Potty favorite, eh?  (See, Tea Potty instead of Tea Party because Jack enjoys the reefer!  Ah, it's whimsy like that that keeps me amused and not pissed his wife is ridiculously good-looking.)  Well, here's an idea not in the Ziggler Should Cash It In Like Right Now camp:

Why don't you have Big Show do it?

I mean, after all, he carried the bulk of this Main Event.  He's got the Last Man Standing rules in the first two matches in the series and del Rio CHEATING TO WIN~! at their Chamber match.  If you're out to punish Dank Swagger, let Show do it.  Let him do it the way he fought off the Usos on the way to a double chokeslam after falling prey to some swank double teams.  Let him swing that wrecking ball of a right hand the same way Brodus Clay in ring and then Great Khali out of it went to the magical land of KTFO.   That's right: Show's open challenge lead to two consecutive hoss fights.  Well, maybe more one and a half; Khali wrestles the way I'd hit on Anna Kendrick. It looks vaguely like the thing it's trying to accomplish and the intent is there but yeesh.  And I did love the fact he was yelling at Clay "That's what you do?  Make these idiots smile!?" considering their prior history.  Good on Cole (!) for at least the allusion, especially after the Funkasaurus came out smileless and danceless before Clay got to swinging.  I cut and pasted those last 4 words from 1964.  After his opening harangue, Miz doffed his gear and then proceeded to kick Show around for a bit before he gave up.  I'm not saying I could pull it off but if I just sat on my Rosa Mendes while Show proceeded to fight off FOUR guys for about 25 minutes I'd have a better chance at the deed, don't you think?  I have a dream that Big Show punches Miz so hard his vocal chords implode.  But who'd take his place on this, the Mainest of All Events?

Three words, y'honor: Titus O'Neill.

Again, barely any mic time and he shined brilliantly, already pulling off the Line of the Year to Justin Gabriel: "Talkin' 'bout you African.  I'M African!" Bonus points for pulling it off in February.  IT'S OUR MONTH!  WE DIDN'T LAND ON TITAN TOWER, TITAN TOWER LANDED ON US...ahem.  Sorry.  Anyway, until he fell prey to a gamengiri and the 450, Titus was shining with some big power moves like a Barrettesque big boot to knock Gabriel to the floor and release fallaway slam.  Not only that, but you got a .4 Mark Henry in-ring trash talk to register.  He seemed to hate Houston Rick and was picking on some unseen kid, which is always a good way to differentiate the scum from the white hats.  Even so, I can't help but feeling Titus is heading down the path where he may be the black del Rio: a great babyface wrapped in an effective heel's exterior. 

Also, I have a response to Brad Maddox's new job and promo work - huh uh uh a little comment.  Stay gold, smarmy boy.