The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, May 27th

Pictured: NOT THE WEAK LINK
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 2) - While Chikara's timeline gets darker and darker, Bryan's timeline in WWE is getting more and more gangsta. "NOT THE WEAK LINK" psychotic-broken Bryan? KILL JOHN CENA AND KEEP HIS HEAD ON A PIKE OUTSIDE ABERDEEN, WA! YES! YES! YES!

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 1) - Thanks to Summerlyn's support and friendship, Jessica James made her Japanese debut and apparently killed it over there. Friendship definitely is the strongest force (which is why, incidentally, I hope that Kane turns just as evil as Bryan does in the next couple of weeks... FRIENDS FOREVER).

3. Mark Henry (Last Week: 3) - What you might construe as "taking his ball and going home," I correctly analyze as Henry going back to his pod and gaining enough strength to eat WWE whole and poop out all the belts to carry around, Ultimo Dragon-style. THAT'S WHAT HE DO.

4. The USA Guy (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The only thing more American than the USA Guy is this picture.

5. Cheeseburgers (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - All you "barbecue" snobs out there can eat me. The best cookout food is, and will always remain, the cheeseburger. Just make sure you have a decent spread of fixins. I'm grill-roasting onions, garlic cloves, mushrooms, and Serrano peppers, slicing tomatoes and raw onions, and putting out condiments that include, but aren't limited to, sriracha, two varieties of Mr. Mustard, guacamole and my homemade salsa. That's how you do it, folks.

6. Angel Pagan (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Inside-the-park homeruns aren't cool. You know what's cool? A walk-off inside-the-park homerun.

7. Seleziya Sparx (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Yeah, she didn't defeat her ex-boyfriend Ethan Page in the JT Lightning Tournament, but she made him smart a bit. Of course, Page won the whole thing, but Sparx showed the world that standing up to your tormentors can be satisfying at least.

8. Allysin Kay (Last Week: Not Ranked) - She got herself suspended for a post-match attack at SHINE 10. I think they're just scared of her. Free AK 47!

9. The Daily Kos (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I admit, I fell for their gag about The Onion closing shop today. The best gags are always rooted in truth, though.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: In honor of fallen veterans, del Rey has dedicated every kick she's ever thrown in a match to an individual fallen soldier in any US armed conflict. Right now, she's already up to the Spanish-American War.