Monday, November 25, 2013

Instant Feedback: The Broken Record

This was cool, but will it lead to anything?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Brandon Stroud makes the reference to WWE Creative's whiteboard in Best and Worst nearly every week, that they have the dry erase board but they write in permanent markers. The plans on the board remain indelible until they throw it out and buy a new one. They refuse to throw the markers away, and thus the cycle continues to rotate like some cruel Ouroboros of creative mediocrity. Sustained state of being bereft of ideas might seem like a stretch even for the most inept of thinktanks. Ignoring the fact that Corporate America fosters an environment where people are encouraged to make lightning strike twice and punishes creativity, and you couldn't make WWE more corporate if Barack Obama bailed them out because Vince McMahon needed to gild his parachute, WWE continues to let the broken record skip.

Last night, at Survivor Series, Big Show fell victim to the rogue entrance music playing for distraction. Despite this trope being worn the fuck out in 1999, wrestlers continue to fall for it, proving that WWE writers, agents, and producers think so little of the fans to believe that even 20 year veterans would fall victim to the oldest trick in the book time and time again. Tonight, WWE continued with its time-honored tradition of giving away the same or eerily similar matches for free that they expected people to pay for the night before. To cap the night off, Show became the victim of yet another concussion-style story, one that failed to gain any traction in the past no matter which wrestler or personality took it on.

At this point in time, the record is no longer just skipping. It has warped under the insane heat breathed upon it by the dragon breath of McMahon and his writers' room. No matter how many times I fool myself into thinking the narrative is going to turn a corner, a RAW like tonight serves as a stark reminder that no matter what, WWE will always be a company one watches for characterization and wrestling quality first. Any story progression comes at the beginning and always seems to skip and repeat somewhere near the middle of the second act.

The sad thing is that without competition within the wrestling game, nothing is going to change. The writers have no incentive to ditch the record player and go for something a little more modern because they are competing among themselves. The ratings are immaterial because USA just keeps shoveling money at them to stay at three hours on Monday until the sky turns black, wait, IT DON'T MATTER, WE KNOW THE SUN'S COMING UP.

So no matter what intrigue comes from Daniel Bryan being abducted by the Wyatt Family, I almost feel trapped under the crushing weight of expectation of failure in delivering something satisfying at conclusion. No matter how balls-out awesome a visual Roman Reigns spearing CM Punk was, it's going to end with Punk and Reigns standing tall over the other two Shield members after the latter breaks from the group. Fatalism isn't fatalism if it's earned through track record. Human beings are flawed by nature anyway, and WWE at least delivers on other fronts enough that RAW is appointment viewing every week despite its glaring, inherent flaws.

But those flaws make being optimistic for WWE's narrative direction more and more a fool's gambit. I readily admit to being a fool at times, as I certainly thought the Autumn of Bryan was leading to something more than just setting Big Show up for a tasteless concussion angle at Survivor Series. I have no doubt in my mind that the record is on a really bad skip right now, but looking at the landscape from a purely personal and somewhat selfish standpoint, that record skip sometimes allows for constant replay of the guitar solo from "The Number of the Beast," which in this case represents the Shield vs. Rey Rhodes trios match (sorry Packers and fellow Eagles fans, but the reference was RIGHT THE FUCK THERE).

Still, watching a show run at a reduced capacity is frustrating. The biggest tragedy is wasted potential, and in WWE's case, all they have to do is get the record fixed, or at least upgrade to mp3s. Then again, expecting a complacent corporate cabal to feel the need to improve is like waiting for a Goldman-Sachs executive to issue a mea culpa for stealing bailout funds and apologizing by tossing money into the streets. You'd have a better chance of seeing the Christian God manifested in the sky like Constantine saw upon his conversion.