Monday, March 10, 2014

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, March 10

Welcome to the BITW rankings, Adam Rose!
Photo Credit:
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Adam Rose (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Rose will continue to accumulate Rosebuds until everyone at the Performance Center not already on NXT will be following him to the ring every week. Of course, the real test will come when his trust fall from the apron happens after Dory Funk, Jr. gets swept up in the hysteria. If he doesn't break a hip, Rose is here to stay.

2. Jennifer Lawrence (Last Week: 5) - She brought her total civilian bestie to the Oscars, who wrote an account of the show from a non-insider's point of view. Way cool.

3. AJ Lee (Last Week: 3) - So many folks in WWE are taking up the "disgruntled employee" angle, and yet Lee, who has the most right to her malaise in real life, soldiers on and keeps busting skulls.

4. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Real talk, this whole "hide behind your wife's skirt" thing is a real turnoff, which is why D-Bry is under the jump this week. Still hard to keep a good performer down though.

5. Burrito Loco School Special (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - My Twitter bio said "Never turned down a free burrito" for a long time, but the truth is I often will pay money for burritos as well, especially when they're as good as Burrito Loco's (in West Chester, PA).

6. Conan O'Brien (Last Week: Not Ranked) - So impressed by his review of WWE 2K14, Triple H offered him a contract on the spot and put him over Zack Ryder.

7. Neil DeGrasse Tyson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Tyson restarted the immortal Cosmos series on Fox last night. Science can look billions of light years into space, but it can't create a pizza that is healthy for you and tastes as good as New York-style thin crust. Baby steps, I suppose.

8. Mark Henry (Last Week: 6) - Speaking of outer space, Mark Henry was so mad he didn't get a crack at Brock Lesnar last week that he went up to the moons of Jupiter and gave the World's Strongest Slam to Io.

9. This Goddamn Otter (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not a great week for crocodiles, it would seem.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: Because of her status as a Time Lord, Sara del Rey is unaffected by Daylight Savings Time.