Thursday, May 22, 2014

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 77

It's happening! YESSSSS!
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call most weeks. This week, well, I have a busy weekend, but I still wanted to do a Tweet Bag. Anyway, time to go!
I'm so hype, the Rawley Scale broke. I was BORN hype for this show. Seriously, I came out of the womb and immediately asked the doctor "When is Chikara coming back because I AM THERE." Since the year was 1981, the doctor asked me one what the hell Chikara was, and two, why a newborn could talk. I was THAT HYPE.

Idealistically, Candice LeRae should be the one to claim the PWG World Championship from Cole. She's proven herself to be more than able of not only keeping up with the men, but in some cases surpassing them in the ring. PWG is all about trying to have the match of the year, and she has won over critics and vindicated her fans. Plus, she has a big beef to settle with Cole, since she's been on the receiving end of so many attacks in the last year or so.

Realistically, Kyle O'Reilly probably should beat him for the title since Cole's betrayal of his former partner was the whole impetus for the formation of Mount Rushmore anyway (although Steen turning, ending Mount Rushmore, and beating Cole for the title Danielson-in-2009 style before he goes to WWE would rule too). O'Reilly actually has a great chance of taking the belt Friday at Sold Our Soul for Rock 'n Roll. The main event is knockouts or submissions only, both areas where O'Reilly seemingly has an edge over the Champ. I might have a few guys on my wishlist, including LeRae, to win the belt over him, but hey, a victory and reign for O'Reilly makes sense.

Because people are not tuning in to watch it more than they are the programs that are in the top three.

Oh, you wanted the reasons why I think people aren't flipping on The Network to watch NXT. Well, I cannot for the life of me say that I can act as a group psychologist for a group of subscribers. But my best first guess is that NXT still needs time to (and frankly has room to) grow. Pay-per-views were one of the big selling points, mainly because they had been entrenched in the average WWE fan's mindset since 1986. Legends House was announced with the initial teaser and features established names. NXT is still a new idea. Developmental territories are still relatively new in terms of a national promotion, and up until NXT was offered on Hulu, being able to see "the minor leagues" has not been an option.

So what can WWE do to get more eyes on NXT? The "PPV-like" episodes like ArRIVAL and Takeover are good starts. Dark matches like the one Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville had before the Smackdown taping in England is another great step. I would hope more spillover happens between RAW and NXT. Maybe NXT could get a feature match on PPV... err, I mean "special events." Or maybe NXT just needs more time to entrench and for The Network to be more normalized and to reach its plateau level of subscribers.

First and foremost, Chikara is coming back on Sunday. I am going to be there for its return live. What I'm actually most excited for has not been announced yet, and who knows, it may not be announced the way I think it will be. But, look at the Events page. Chikara has announced a weekend in Quebec in August, and a weekend in the Dirty Souf in October. No dates for September. What annual tournament last happened in September, and was announced to happen there before Chikara unceremoniously closed last year? King of Trios. Furthermore, what historic wrestling venue recently has returned to hosting wrestling events after a failed stint as a concert hall? And what same venue has recently become the home once more to the Chikara Wrestle Factory? The ECW Arena. I put two and two together, and I am already looking forward to something that may not be happening but makes sense if it would.

Outside of my favorite wrestling promotion of all-time making its return, I'm also looking forward to what WWE has in store for its usually experimental summer phase. The post-Mania scene is so full of malaise outside of the first couple of weeks after the event, but sometime around June, business picks up. This year has the added mystique of what is going to happen with Daniel Bryan and the WWE Championship. SO many options are on the table. And what about Money in the Bank? This year will be the first time that only one World-level Championship was in play. It will make the winner of the match seem all the more intriguing. Will WWE give the briefcase to a known quantity, or will someone like Antonio Cesaro, Roman Reigns, or even Seth Rollins get the nod?

Finally, I want to see how all these new rumored signings are going to pan out on NXT. All the buzz is on Prince Devitt, KENTA, Kevin Steen, and Willie Mack right now, but WWE signed a whole bunch of dudes last year who haven't even sniffed the main developmental show. Kalisto has only just debuted, and Solomon Crowe and Simon Gotch, for example, still need to get on TV. Depending on who gets called up, who gets shunted back (Big E Langston? Adam Rose? EVAN BOURNE?), and who debuts, the complexion of NXT television could be radically different by year's end, and I want to be there for the whole ride.

That phrase actually sounds BO-dacious, friend.

What gimmick combined demeaning a superstar who made his name under his most famous name with a racist gimmick, radically cartoonish gimmickry, and a name only the most hardcore fans of the promotion wouldn't be ashamed of?

Photo Credit:

When I buy wrestling shirts, I tend to go for indie designs, because they usually have a better array of minimalist-leaning ones with slick designs. WWE shirts have tended to be garish and loud over the years. But I will admit that the company has produced some killer shirts for Daniel Bryan. Maybe his indie ethos inspired the merch-makers to knock his designs out of the park. Anyway, my favorite shirt is the one that started it all for him:

Let's assume I'm eating at a Taco Bell in Delaware. No, I don't like the scenery, and I have no great affinity for the state which I have termed "The Grundle of America," but it does have the lasting advantage of not charging any sales tax whatsoever. So, prices are as-is with no surcharge that goes to the state or the local municipality. Second, assume that I have my own drink, which means I'm going drive-thru. Listen, Taco Bell may not be the Tavern on the Green, but that fact doesn't mean you can barge right in with your own beverages like you're some ratchet-ass cheapskate.

Okay, so the list is as follows:

2 Crunchy Tacos ($0.99)
2 Cheese Roll-ups ($0.99)
Cheesy Gordita Crunch ($2.49)
Meximelt ($1.99)
Bean Burrito ($1.09)

Okay, so I'm at $9.53. Since I don't know what else I could add for 47 cents, I will stop there. I can't go to Taco Bell without getting a crunchy taco, mainly because they have such a familiar taste. I grew up on those, back when my mom worked at Clover and didn't feel like cooking when she got off a long shift. She'd bring home boxes of the tacos for dinner, which my brothers and I would crunch down. The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is all cheese, and the sauce really brings the whole thing together. I love the simplicity of the Meximelt with nothing but cheese, beef, and tomatoes. The bean burrito is another simple offering that works, but only if the beans are hot and not congealed.

I feel the need to defend the Cheese Roll-ups, mainly because it's the simplest, most dipshitty item anyone can order from any restaurant. I feel like it would akin to McDonald's selling a hamburger bun with nothing but a slice of cheese betwixt. But I like seeing the cheese string from my mouth to the rest of the roll-up. It's also really cheap. So yeah.

If the plan is only to cater to the base, then no, I don't think it's a great idea for an overall business plan. But I don't think Chikara is just going to cater to said base in the longterm future. Sunday is a rebirth, and the first Chikara show didn't really have a whole lot of name-brand guys. Sure, CM Punk, Colt Cabana, and Adam Pearce became big deals over the last 12 years or so, and the Chikara brand (ugh, I hate using that word) has strengthened to the point where Eddie Kingston, Jigsaw, Hallowicked, and a whole bunch of other homegrown guys are national names. But I think, and remember, I'm an outsider no matter how big a fan I am or how many times I've talked to Bryce Remsburg on my podcast, that this return card was booked on purpose. The guest stars will come back. The company will grow again, especially since it's essentially a national promotion.

And who knows, maybe that base is a lot bigger than any one of us could imagine...

Don't need money, don't need fame, don't need no credit card to ride this train...

This Sunday? No. Eventually? Never say never, especially since Colt Cabana worked a program featuring his leporine doppelganger.

For one, you're on OK Cupid. I assume you haven't gone out with her yet, so it's not like you've wrapped the wedding blanket around her in the eyes of the septon, the Seven Gods, and a whole bunch of witnesses. Unless she's the only one you've got a nibble on, then you shouldn't put her under so much scrutiny.

I'm not one for dating advice, to be honest. Gonna let you in on a little secret. My wife is the first woman I ever like-liked that I didn't get on some level of creepiness with. I used to be one of those guys, and everything I've learned about respecting women, not being a nudge, and realizing that sometimes, you just gotta disengage I learned AFTER I got married and actually was able to talk to women as friends without any pressure. So basically, take everything I say with the kind of grain of salt you would to someone who has all the theoretical knowledge in the world and no real-world experience. But you gotta find out what you need that makes you happy and what kind of compromises you are willing to make. It seems to me that this girl has more negatives than positives. If she's not your type and is not funny when she's trying to be, and those are things that you look for, then yeah, I'd say pull back and look for someone else.

Love is a really fucked up and random thing sometimes. Don't force the issue. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. If it's only meant to be a couple of awkward dates before one of you wants to bail, that's great too. If it means casual sex, a summer fling, or marriage, or whatever, then hey, that's how the cookie crumbles. You just gotta be prepared for any given situation and roll with the punches. I feel like if everyone was born knowing that lesson, the world would have a lot less heartache, violence against women, and sadly, loads fewer great songs. Then again, I listen to a lot of prog rock, heavy metal, and some rap, and those genres seem to have no problem finding shit to sing about that isn't related to lost love.

If the subject is 2015 Hall of Fame, I'm not sure. Their inductions would depend on how many "name" guys WWE ends up putting in for next year. For example, if next year's class includes "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Sting, and Owen Hart like what is rumored, then no, I think Diesel and 1-2-3 Kid won't get in. If next year's class has the nWo, then neither of those characters will get in, even if Syxx and Kevin Nash technically get inducted.

But overall, with Triple H in charge, I'd go so far as to say not only are Diesel and The Kid locks to get in, but so is Justin Credible. Why? Because The Kliq runs deep, yo.