Friday, June 9, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

This week: Hideo and the Castigo Excesivo
Photo Credit:
Heavy Machinery: Weights and steaks!  Shakaloo!
Some Rando Background Extra From Cool Runnings and A Renamed Dylan Miley: smile awkwardly in front of a flashing neon Angle Alert sign I'm sure they placed here, just as they did together as a tag team. for no particular reason!  smiles falter sligjtly
Dylan uh Lars Sullivan: I can bang with these dudes!
Other Guy: Good set up!  I got it from here.  Good stuff.
Heavy Machinery: LOL no you don't splat splut GORSH
Referee: Winners!
Lars Sullivan: grows understandably angry and picks up his erstwhile partner I'll splat splut GORSH you!  does

Roderick Strong: Thanks, you guys.  What a crazy year: me getting here, my new fiancee, and my even newer baby boy.  I opened up about my life and you all accepted me, so thanks from all my heart.
Full Sailors: Thank you, Roddy! clap clap clapclapclap
Roddy: That said: I said I was coming for the Big X, and I am.
Bobby Roode: fake crying Give me a moment, I'm verklempt.  I... I just... you have so much good going on for you, man!  You're winning matches... FINALLY, and you got a fiancee... a marginally hot one... and a new son who I hear even looks somewhat normal.
Everyone Else: torn between snickering and booing, creating a weird sound vacuum
The Champ: Here's the thing, though: I know you want on the marquee 'cause diapers don't buy themselves, and you want to play the Bobby Roode Lottery the same way these mouth-breathing funnel cake munchers do the real one.  I'm going to say this to you, because you're a good hand: STAY.  IN YOUR.  LANE.
Roddy: now looks alternatively angry and resigned
The Champ: Best of luck, kid! Glorious Domination starts, Roddy's reaction stays in the same place

Sarah Logan: No, I *don't* know what a Mary Dobson is.  I'm from the woods, consarn it!
Peyton Royce: Ew.  Carnies.
Logan: Now wait just a goshdarned minnit, here!
Royce: Get out of the way of my narrative.  Excuse you.  ROUNDHOUSE, modified DVD, strike party and a Perfectplex
Referee: Winner!
Royce: well obvi
Billie Kay: from the floor duh doi
The Artist About To No Longer Be Named Rosita: shows up last week and slaps Cien in the face

Earlier Today, Hideo Itami: I'm not going to Japan.  One loss doesn't mean I go back after I worked this hard.  I'm not done yet.
Now, In A Match With Oney Lorcan: slaps him for no good reason
Full Sailors: murmur
Oney: tries but fails to sustain momentum
Hideo: kicking a bit harder than usual Come on!
Oney:  slaps to the face
Hideo: ...
Oney: Charging EuroAgain!  Cannonball off the top!
Hideo: augh I'm hurt
Oney: Really?
Hideo: I was until I found all these RECEIPTS you Gollum-ass looking mother HARDER SLAPS TO THE FACE
Tom Phillips: That shortcut isn't like the Hideo Itami we've seen before.
Hideo: Sure it is.  GO TO SLEEP.
Full Sailors: Yay!
Full Sailors: ...uhhh...yay?
Hideo: I'm.  Not.  Done.  Yet.  GO.  TO.  SLEEP.
Full Sailors: know what?  No.  BOOOOOOOO!
Kassius Ohno: I concur.  What are you doing, man?
Hideo: You.  Again.  shoves him
Ohno: goes through a gamut of emotions, THEN shoves him harder
Hideo: stares vitriollically and leaves
Oney: still legally dead in Third World countries 

Full Sailors: No way!  Jose!
Jose: Yes way.  You saw me come back last week, why do you sound surpri---ohhh.  Hey, everybody!  slightly less dancing than usual
Killian Dain: And for this trespass, I will EAT YOU.
Jose: Really?
KD: No, but I'm going to beat you up a lot.  does so
Jose: But...but I'm hitting you as hard as I can!  I managed to hit a TKO on you!
KD: And yet.  HEADBUTT, shotgun dropkick, Not the One Winged Angel
Referee: Winner!
KD: poses menancingly