Thursday, June 8, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 190

America's left woke bae grappling the world's foremost one
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

David Starr is the boy. Sure, Daniel Bryan and Sami Zayn are both close, but Starr is as close to dirtbag left as one can get in pro wrestling in America. Besides, Zayn is Canadian anyway. Of course, Starr has said he's pro-capitalism, which is both disappointing and as a wrestler totally unsurprising. Still, his vocal support of leftist causes and candidates on Twitter makes him a distant second to Sabre overall but a comfortable first place in American politics/graps.

In some cases, yes. For example, American Alpha got called up way too early, and while they were the victims of untimely circumstance with Heath Slater and bad booking afterwards, they were an act that needed more time in the oven before coming up. They hit in a gimmick that is red meat for dickheads like me and the Full Sail crowd, Olympic-style grapplers. Turns out that's not enough to survive without a lot of support. Of course, NXT gets it right sometimes, and other times it keeps guys in developmental for TOO long (Tye Dillinger). But I think it mostly has to do with Triple H and his cronies making decisions on WHEN to bring people up instead of how over they get in front of a skewed crowd.

First thing's first, all wrestlers will be free to unionize, and companies that don't use unionized labor (labour?) are not allowed permits to run shows on United Kingdom soil. Second, Minoru Suzuki appointed special counsel to break the arms of people who harass fans at BritWres shows. Third, Jeremy Corbyn is named Special Guest Commissioner to PROGRESS Wrestling. Those three things ought to show that Sabre means business as Minister of Sport.

Only if the Sixers are booked to win.

In all seriousness, a postseason loser's bracket has been bandied about for other reasons, specifically to combat tanking and to give an actual winner rather than a loser the first overall pick. I would support that idea, to be honest, if just for the spectacle. However, I do think the socialist policy of helping the neediest teams is the right thing to do, and subjecting non-playoff teams to even MORE games when some of them missed out solely because they were too injured to play at full strength seems cruel. So I'm on the fence.

While the rematch of my Indie Match of the Year from 2013 (DeSean Pratt fka Amasis vs. Ophidian) looks tempting, but I gotta go with the Skayde lucha tag match. I love lucha tags, and as long as no funny business goes down between Skayde and the promoters here that went down at King of Trios '10, then it should be mind-boggling. The whole card looks good, but that match in particular just looks like it's going to be the bees' knees.

What, you mean turning her back into her NXT character? Her RAW character is just a dorky looking girl who's Sasha Banks' friend and LOVES WWE. That's not a character, that's a malformed body thrown out there to die a slow, painful death. Even her NXT character wasn't that much more fleshed out, but look at how she was treated, protected, given angles that preserved her true good guy spirit. Now, that being said, CAN WWE turn back the clock? I guess anything's possible. But I floated the idea of her turning into a rebellious, petulant teenager-type. That could work, but it would also be counter everything that made her special and allows her the potential to be John Cena for little girls. So I don't know. Only thing I do know is that the current model is emblematic of Vince McMahon's and his writers' failures to cultivate a true babyface character, which is strange. Sami Zayn still feels over 75 percent intact from his NXT ethos. Strange indeed.

I'm calling a moratorium on "fave video package questions" because it's so boring to answer. It might be a hot take, but while WWE's video production team is good at its job, outside of the two above and my answer below, they're just not eminently memorable. Sorry, not sorry. Anyway though, the answer is the Daniel Bryan Monster package pre-WrestleMania XXX.

Okay, so if Hall of Pain Mark Henry is a 1.0 and foot-fetish Snitsky is a 0.0, my beefy sons Heavy Machinery are sitting pretty at a 0.9. However, that rating is an average. Otis Dozovic is at about a 0.95, while Tucker Knight is at 0.85. Dozovic just has more of that wilderness in his eyes, that unpredictability. That goes a long way with me.