Friday, November 10, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

Gotta get that nap time in before next weekend (Photo Credit:

Heavy Machinery: come out
Full Sailors: Steaks and weights! Steaks and weights!
Nigel McGuiness: These men have been banned from every KBBQ in the greater Orlando area!
Victims: are clearly doomed
Heavy Machinery: squish squansh Compactor squash
Referee: Winners! 

Ember Moon: Mercedes Martinez thinks I Just Can't Win The Big One?  I'll shut her up next week and show her why I'm the biggest threat in the women's division.

Kairi Sane: sails out
Full Sailors: salute their captain
Mauro Ranallo: Really important match for Billie Kay here; you gotta think a win here would get her the first shot at whoever the women's champion is coming out of Takeover, especially if it's Kairi.
Nigel McGuiness: You might even speculate —  mean she'd have the claim to it with a win here — if maybe she should take Kairi's spot in the match itself.
Thousands Of Fellow Nerds: know how this is going to end and are still heartened they even threw in that much
Kairi: Headscissors!  Dropkick!  Stay AWAY, Peyton!
Billie Kay: drills her with a running forearm
Some Future Mrs. Cena Somewhere In Arizona: seethes quietly
Billie: Arm trap Torture Rack!  Splat in the corner!
Kairi: seethes loudly Rebound spear!  Kenta chop flurry!  Sliding D!
Mauro Ranallo: Shades of the the former ECW Champion and her trainer, Masato Tanaka!
Peyton: Wait a minute, you
Kairi: lays her out
Billie: Hey!  You can't just
Kairi: lays her out, backfist, InSane elbow
Referee: Winner!
Kairi: salutes her minions right back

Kassius Ohno: Mr. Regal, ever since I laid out Itami, I've been on a roll.  I want to get back in the championship picture, and the best way for me to do that is go head to head with Lars Sullivan at Takeover.  If I make a dent in that battleship of a man...
Master Regal: Well, lad, you don't have to remind me of how hard you hit.  You've got your match.
KO1.0: Thanks.  shakes his hand and leaves
Master Regal: whistles lowly and shakes his head 

God's Production Team: rolls a four-minute piece about the horrible glory that is War Games featuring Dustin Rhodes, Booker T, Arn Anderson, and Arn Anderson's Dusty Rhodes impersonation

Faceless Interviewer: Can you give us a sense of the gameplan you hope to execute in Houston?
Zelina Vega: I'm not some idiot giving away my strategies and secrets.  Cien's the only one who needs to know those.  More importantly, we did what Drew asked: we met him face-to-face.  He simply wasn't ready for it.
FI: What's your relationship to Andrade?
Andrade "Cien" Almas: laughs
Vega: I've known him for seven years.  This is the real El Idolo: no peers, head and shoulders above the rest.
Cien: mostly in Spanish I have the game plan — I have the momentum — and in ten days, I'll have the championship.

Velveteen Dream: comes out slow and focused with no posing
Cezar Bononi: comes out
Mauro: And we're looking at a man here who beat Andrade "Cien" Almas, who has the title shot next Saturday!
Nigel: He's a master of the upset, but he's got his work cut out for him here.
Thousands Of Fellow Nerds: Two times!  Two times!
Velveteen: squanch squish SQUASH, doesn't even use the Savage elbow
Referee: Winner!
VD: "Aleister Black...gotcha.  Now I'm on your mind, and come next Saturday?  When all that's dark comes to the light, I'll get what I want, and you will say my name."

Ruby Riot: After that qualifier three weeks ago, my ankle's janky.  Doc says I need another couple weeks of rest.
Sonya Deville: You.
Ruby: Me?  Me what?
Sonya: Because you're a coward who didn't tap out, I didn't get my shot in Houston.
Ruby: Well, you should've broken the damn thing.  Everybody's fault but yours, right?  Once I'm better, I'll see you in the ring.
Sonya: nodding before she's finished talking Deal.  And this time I will break the damn thing.  leaves
Ruby: I'll be ready when it goes down.

Street Profits: Today?  It's all about swagification BAM!  hand random white guy a black solo cup  
Other Random White Guy: I have a suit here for Tino Sabotelli.
Montez Ford: That is very much me.
Angelo Dawkins: That's you?
Ford: That's me.  Molto bene!  Molto bene!
Tino Sabotelli: Uh, that's me.
Riddick Moss: Very much so.
Young Money: Hey, what did we tell you guys about touching our stuff?
Street Profits: Man, ain't nobody tryna to be y'all!  But if you're 'bout that life, we can help you out next week in the ring.
Young Money: Done.  Tino takes his suit and walks off, Riddick follows
Street Profits: Five thousand dollar suit, more like a five dollar suit...

Roderick Strong: comes out looking vaguely grumpy as usual
Some Guy and Full Sailors: ADAM COLE, BAY BAY!
Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly: conspicuous by their absences and silence
Roddy: outwrestles him on the mat, hits a Flying Santana off the apron and rolls him back in
Adam Cole: Ref!  You gotta help me!
Referee: No!
ACBB: Close enough! superkicks Roddy as he tries to get back in Stomps!  Figure four headscissors!
Full Sailors: clap to rally
Roddy: Bossman slam backbreaker!
Cole: ow
Roddy: T-Bone backbreaker!
Cole: OW
Referee: Kickout!
Cole: Superkick!  Suplex oshigoroshi!
Referee: Kickout!
Cole: meme disbelief face
Roddy: Uranage backbreaker into the top turnbuckle!
Cole: ...oh, that fucking SUCKED.  Minions, save me!
ReDragon: do so
the Authors of Pain: come out
SAnitY: comes out
Everybody: fights everybody else they're not teaming with
Cole: gets loose at some point and superkicks Roddy yet again
Alexander Wolfe: tope con hilos a bunch of dudes
Roderick Strong: superplexes Cole to the outside onto to everybody else
Mauro Ranallo: MAMMA MIA!
Full Sailors: NXT!  NXT!  NXT!  NXT!

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