Thursday, August 2, 2018

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 246

Gotta have Big E headlining the All-Black WWE PPV
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Well, the first thing I'd do is lock everyone in WWE's creative room in a boardroom until the event was over, because yeah, you know why. Second, the card is below:

Main Event 1: WWE Universal Championship Match
Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Big E, and Big E goes over to become the sensual Champion WWE doesn't deserve but needs regardless

Main Event 2: Once In a Lifetime Opportunity
The Rock vs. Kofi Kingston. Kingston has long deserved some dip in the main event pool after getting big reactions and really putting in his best pre-New Day work in that program with Randy Orton. He should've been pushed to the main event. WWE can't rectify that error, but it can make good to Kingston by putting him against (and preferably putting him over) the most prominent Black superstar it had before today.

RAW Women's Championship Match
Sasha Banks (c) vs. Ember Moon. Naturally a co-headlining match if I ever saw one, I feel like they not only would provide a great moment for women of color in WWE, but would also blow the doors off the arena with how good the match would be.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Lio Rush. Rush seems to be getting a good head of steam behind him, and no matter when this hypothetical show would happen, he'd be a great addition to it against one of the company's best Champions.

Apollo Crews, Titus O'Neil, and Ricochet vs. Velveteen Dream and the Street Profits. Gotta take the opportunity to reunite the two Black superstars from Monster Express, right? The opposite team might not seem to make sense, but I feel like you could mine Dream playing off the Profits for a lot of gold.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Jason Jordan. The teacher vs. the student, well, not exactly. Benjamin definitely was Jordan's WWE forebear though, and this would be an interesting match.

Bianca Belair vs. Naomi. Another fun exhibition between two talented wrestlers, I feel like Naomi can help Belair acclimate to life in WWE here.

Xavier Woods vs. [MYSTERY OPPONENT]. The mystery opponent is Keith Lee, and this would be a great opener for the show.

So I got eight matches out of WWE's Black roster with R-Truth and Alicia Fox to spare. Seems like it's an improvement from the past, but man, WWE can still do better here.

Layup. go birds

Photo via San Diego Zoo website

It's cliche, but depending on streaming options, it's All In for the reasons I wrote about earlier this week. Even if the top two matches are underwhelming, it still has two really unique undercard matches plus the mystery of who Kenny Omega's opponent is. If it's Penta El Zero M, then it's great. If on the off chance they got CM Punk, then I'm ecstatic. Takeover: Brooklyn 4 is going to be good, but I'm afraid they're going to muck things up with the main event by making it a superfluous three-way. Lost In New York will be great, but it feels like a chapter in a series rather than something brand new. Further future events like Takeover: War Games 2 or the Chikara finale haven't taken shape yet. And I would be getting MONDO excited for Battle of Los Angeles if I didn't think I was going to miss out on the DVDs again this year. All In remains at the intersection of fresh/exciting and probable for me to watch.

This is the answer where my man baollis will get mad at me because I haven't tried lengua yet.

1. Al Pastor - I dig the sauce and the pineapple, and I love when they roast the meat in that style on a spit. They took a concept from Lebanese settlers in Mexico and improved upon it, and that's the good shit.
2. Carne Asada - Steak tacos done street style are very hard to beat when done right.
3. Carnitas - Man, I'm not sure anyone is better at pork than Mexico, not even American barbecue pitmasters.
4. Ground Beef - As much as I love street tacos, the regular, Taco Bell-style ones that we at home make on taco night do me well. The crunchy shells and maximization of topping combinations feels warm and comforting.
5. Choco - So I like dessert. Sorry if this offends.

The removal is easy. Take Michael Elgin out and launch him into the Sun. Who should replace him though? I have two options, one native and more comedic, another guest and more serious. The native New Japan guy is Chuck Taylor. On one hand, the tournament already has Toru Yano and YOSHI-HASHI for hapless comedy guys who are also from CHAOS in it. On the other, Chuckie T in the G1 would be a hoot. The non-New Japan guy would be Daisuke Sekimoto. He's already started working on the fringes of NJPW, and I think introducing him to the crowd through the G1 would show off what kind of workhorse he is. Imagine him vs. Tomohiro Ishii. I'm already getting goosebumps.

Never, probably. I mean, social media remains the best tool to get information out. What these incidents will do is prompt people in the limelight to delete their prior tweets, which is really what they should've been doing all along. The ones whom the bad tweets will shame will invariably apologize and plow ahead. The ones whom they won't affect will be belligerent in the face of criticism and fall back into their base who will support them and their ideas. Once in awhile, you'll get a Roseanne Barr who gets burned by what they tweet, but those cases will always be few and far between enough that social media will remain a relatively safe area for anyone who happens to become famous.

C'mon, since Gulak and the Phanatic are clearly going over in that match, the loser has to be someone used to taking the three second tan. Luckily, WWE has a Mets fan accustomed to jobbing, and his name is Curt Hawkins. Book it, daddy-o!