Friday, October 26, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Johnny, no
Photo Credit:
Master Regal, "Earlier Today": Aleister Black IS going to show up.  Make sure to send him my way before anything else happens.  I'm counting on you, cannon fod... uh, four randos in black shirts.

the Undisputed Era: swagger out
Some Guy, the Full Sailors, and Probably Even You: ADAM COLE, BAY BAY!
Some Full Sailors: Bobby!  Bobby!  Bobby!
Adam Cole: Just in case you've been living under a rock, Bobby Fish is back, and we're at 100%.  So consider this a warning to the entire locker room, and if you don't believe us, ask the War Raiders what happened last week.  Two of the biggest, baddest men in NXT and we dismantled them.  Anybody else in our way won't be for long.  People will fear NXT because they will fear us, and WE are NXT.  Which brings me to Ricochet, a man who has my property.  When that triple threat went down, Pete Dunne did, too.  I wasn't beaten.  He can't beat me, he won't beat me, and... is interrupted
Full Sailors: NX3!  NX3!  NX3!
Tha Carter III: Let me tell you an honest truth your three yes men won't... you don't deserve a shot at the North American championship.
Adam Cole: Messing with us is not the smart play here.
TCIII: You didn't win, but you're out here with your squad, your gusto, your bravado.  If you guys are at 100%, it doesn't matter because I Am The Top 1%.
Adam Cole: EC3, shut up!  How about this: how about we get a referee out here and I make an example out of you?
TCIII: Well, then summon a referee we shall!
Referee: sprints past and hits the ring 

Cole: lands some stomps, forearms, and more stomps
TCIII: lands some hard chops Elite Elbow!  Cactus clothesline!  makes sure the lackeys aren't going to blindside him Waffle Face into the apron!  tosses Cole back in
Cole: Basement superkick!  Neckbreakers!  Boot chokes!
TCIII: Avalanche!
Cole: Nope!  Oshigoroshi!  Guillotine with bodyscissors!
TCIII: I suplex free!
Full Sailors: EC3!  EC3!  EC3!
TCIII: Flying Santana!  NOW I have the avalanche!  Release German!  Sitout bomb!
Cole: ...kickout!
the Era: provide a distraction then all get laid out
Cole: Superkick!
TCIII: Lariat!
Cole: Last Shot II!
TCIII: Nope! Rollup!
Referee: Winner!
Cole: wtf
TCIII: heh heh heh leaves the ring
the NXT World Tag Team Champions: hi/lo him
the Era: drag TCIII up to the apex of the ramp
Cole: As I was saying before I was so rudely schoolboyed, Last Shot II!  NXT belongs to us!
the Era: throw up their gang sign
Robert Fish, Esquire: grabs a chair and bashes it over EC3's leg
the Rest of the Era: is clearly surprised but also amused, pat Bobby on the back and leave as a unit
TCIII: sells the leg as refs and medics come out

Nikki Cross: (laughing and freaking out the Cann... erm, Security) He's coming!  He's coming he's coming he's coming

Aliyah: comes out
Mia Yim: comes out to a big pop in her NXT debut
Full Sailors: Mia's gonna kill you!  Mia's gonna kill you!
Mia: Armdrags!  Dropkick!
Aliyah: bails
Full Sailors: Let's go, Mia!  clap clap clapclapclap  Let's go, Mia!  clap clap clapclapclap 
Aliyah: Hangwoman!  Half straightjacket!  Northern Lights!
Mia: Cute.  Flying kick!  John Woo dropkick!  Yakuza kick!  Cannonball!  Seoul Food!
Referee: Winner! 

Bianca BelAir: Mr. Regal, this is unacceptable.  You need to treat your stars like stars!  I'm un de fea ted and I want my title shot!  storms off
Master Regal, Obviously Wearied: I'll take it under advisement.
Queen Cathy: Mr. Regal, do you know the name Nikki gave Aleister to close out last week's program?
Master Regal: I do not.  I know that man is going to raise hell, which is why I
the Undisputed Era: expressing various forms of whinitude
Adam Cole: You need to do your job and get your act together!
A Proper Villain's Look Emerges From Our Leader: Perhaps YOU need to get YOUR act together, especially since Robert ruined our World Tag Title match last week and just laid out EC3 with an injury similar to the one he's been suffering from for so long!  Next week, the War Raiders will return, and they will face Bobby Fish — pointed look — and Adam Cole.
the Era: storm off
Master Regal: death glares their way, even after they've been gone for a few seconds

Victim: comes out
Kassius Ohno: comes out, getting more Tranquilo by the moment
Victim: Maybe I could
Ohno: PUMP KICK!  Wasteland!
Full Sailors: Ohno!  Ohno!  Ohno!
Ohno: This ain't what I asked for, Regal!
Victim: tries it again
Ohno: And I said PUMP.  KICK.  Senton!  Another!  DEATH BLOW!
Referee: Winner!
Nikki: (comes out pointing and laughing at Ohno) He's coming he's coming he's coming he's coming! leaves

In A Completely Unrelated Note (?)

Master Regal: I would like to make an announcement with regards to the NXT Title and WarGames...
#14: comes out hugging the Big X tightly, kisses his nameplate, then stands in front of Regal ogling his belt
Regal: stares at him with utter contempt
#14: With all due respect, "sir", wipe that smug look off your face.  And boy, don't you stare at the Champ's title; make your announcement.
the PA: ♬ Velveteen Dream.  Hit it! ♬
Regal: looks perturbed
Ciampa: for the lip readers in the audience, wonders if Regal's behind this and/or if this is his opponent for TO: WG
the Dream: Hold the phones and stop the presses, the headline, or headliner, is here.
Full Sailors: Huzzah!
the Dream: The people want an Experience.  But Mr. Regal, what I want you to do is say my name.
Lars Sullivan: Be mindful where you are — this isn't up for debate — where you're standing is Lars Sullivan Territory.  I'm NXT's worst nightmare, and the gold belongs to me!
Ciampa: Linus :: Big X : blanket
the Dream: I understand you consider yourself a nightmare, but whence you speak to the Dream?  I'm going to need you to wear some pants.
Full Sailors: laugh
Lars: laughs then goozles
Nikki: slides into the ring He's coming!  He's coming!
Cannon Fodder: is getting laid the eff out in the back
Full Sailors: gasp as one eats a Black Mass
Aleister Black: marches into the arena on a laser sight knocking over a cameraman on the way to the ring
Ciampa: I think I didn't feed my door and I left the dog open byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Lars: Hey, you
Black: MASS (grabs Regal by the lapels) WHERE IS HE!?!?!?  WHERE IS HE!??! turns, is dropped
Full Sailors: are very loud and running through a gamut of emotions
The Assailant: picks up the mic 








TURNCOAT: I'm right here.  drops mic