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| He had a dream, and that dream wasn't to be co-opted by Nazis and White moderates Photo via Relevant Magazine |
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:
1. Martin Luther King, Jr. (Last Week: Not Ranked) - You're going to see a lot of people co-opting Dr. King today who really don't get what he was about. I'm sure if you're tuning in to watch WWE RAW, well, that'll be the most egregious place where you'll see his image presented by people he would speak against in real life. In addition to being hella racist, WWE is one of the most exploitative places to work in America, hell, the world. Did you know that Dr. King was a socialist who wanted to radically redistribute the wealth in the US so that his goals of Black liberation, and liberation of all people, could be achieved. A lot of people will correctly say he was antiracist, but when talking about the things he wanted to do to eradicate said racism, well, they all turtle up and say "uh, magic." Dr. King's dream is alive today in Bernie Sanders, Rashida Tlaib, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and all the other nascent members of the American left. Remember his message not just today, but everyday, and especially when you head to the ballot boxes.
2. That Guy Who Punched Richard Spencer (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Happy anniversary to one of the greatest Americans doing something that should be done every day.
3. Effy (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only is he hosting a Big Gay Brunch WrestleMania weekend, Effy is the inaugural Prime Time Wrestling 51st State Champion. There are big things ahead for the man turning indie wrestling on its ear.
4. Raheem Mostert (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Mostert bounced around several practice squads and training camps before settling with the 49ers, and his road from undrafted free agent (by the Eagles no less!) to all-time franchise record rusher in the NFC Championship Game will now take him and his buzzsaw of a football team to the Super Bowl. You gotta feel good about that.
5. Patrick Mahomes (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The best quarterback in the National Football League saw his team go down by double digits again in the AFC Championship Game and once again led them back to win the game and give the Kansas City football team its first berth into the Super Bowl since they were in the American Football League. You gotta respect it.
6. Orange Cassidy (Last Week: 7) - Yeah, like, that's your opinion.
7. Maki Itoh (Last Week: 3) - She's coming to America to make the cutest revolution? Maki Itoh destroying Trump with her hands tied behind her back confirmed.
8. Cheesesteaks (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - I wasn't feeling so well Saturday night, which means you shouldn't order something greasy and heavy right? NOT WHEN YOU'RE ME. I ordered a cheesesteak, watched the first night of WrestleKingdom (shut up) and felt fit as a fiddle before I went to bed. I'm not saying the official local food of the area has curative properties, but I'm not NOT saying it.
9. Warhorse (Last Week: 1) - Is he still ruling ass? Yep.
10. Tony Schiavone (Last Week: 10) - Well wrestling fans, I'm here on the Jericho Cruise, and let me tell you, I've seen Dustin Rhodes house an entire hotel pan of... well, that's all the time we have this week, tune in next week for the Best in the world rankings!
