So here's one of my least-favorite tropes WWE seems absolutely to be in love with in the modern era: heel champion v. babyface "challenger" in a non-title match with a (Derrick Rose excremental) ending.
Put Cesaro in the ring against Ryback on the last C show before the Royal Rumble and you don't have to be Damien Sandow Appearing Later On In The Show to guess the tenor and outline of the match involved; of course it's going to be hard-hitting and highly entertaining until a disappointing ending. What's really confusing in this case is that Miz kept Cesaro from bailing once in the course of the bout but apparently doing so twice was going to wrinkle his hair gel or something. Utterly baffling, and if that was going to be the way things shook out he should've done it neither time or both. Speaking of utterly baffling, Ryback was in the back telling a joke. WHY IS HE TALKING SO MUCH NOW?! I don't want my wrecking balls having souls, I want them laying dudes out in two minutes and leaving. And we all know what passes for Stamford Comedy in 2013 (think 2 Broke Girls without all the redeeming attributes of Kat Dennings). In ring, at least, the former Nexian was willing to show a wider arsenal with a 747 and some technical skills. Granted, he will never be my very European mancrush Antonio Cesaro who flies through the air with the DJiest of all Gabriels, but that was as welcome to see as it was to hear Miz on commentary making salient points on how one will be best equipped to survive the Rumble. His being #1 last year and main-eventing Wrestlemania and getting his shot at Cesaro pre-show Sunday all came into play seemingly organically without a big anvil drop, which is what you want out of your commentators.
Speaking of Sunday, did you know it's the Rumble? It was gutsy but brilliant to lead with the '13 version of By The Numbers and good god, th--is tha--that's the Heavy's music! Who knew they could find something current, awesome and not nu-metal? Did I set that up in my sleep or something?
I really hope the rumors of Big Show retiring are overblown. His short, sweet promo backstage promising the PUNCH OF DEATH to any "weak, single-celled amoeba" that dared step in his way was a 75-second thing of glory. (Also, as we all should remember, the only thing that could stop the Big Show longterm is a second trip to the Hall of Pain.)
For as much as I remain befuddled the Usos never have gotten the rocket up their ass I was more than a little pleased to see them outright dominating the number 1 contenders (and probable future Tag Champs) for large portions of the match. Even the ending played into the smart boys underthinking their match, as there was no Terminus, and no CrossRhodes; no, Sandow dove onto the top rope crotching one of them going for the Superfly splash and simply barely got 3 off of that. When's the last time YOU saw a match end without a finisher or off a rollup from a distraction? Marvelous, and hopefully with Rey's injury sidelining ¡Los Luchas! the Usses get this kind of platform on a bigger stage and not just the seven people who watch WWEME.
All that said, Sunday is going to open up a lot of fun questions -- how many people will Ryback eliminate? are we getting a surprise return? Will Ziggler use the Last Man Standing stip as his open door to cash in and become champ? Is it possible that I lose my voice cheering for C.M. Punk? I suppose some 167 hours from now we'll see what the fallout from getting them answered is.
Put Cesaro in the ring against Ryback on the last C show before the Royal Rumble and you don't have to be Damien Sandow Appearing Later On In The Show to guess the tenor and outline of the match involved; of course it's going to be hard-hitting and highly entertaining until a disappointing ending. What's really confusing in this case is that Miz kept Cesaro from bailing once in the course of the bout but apparently doing so twice was going to wrinkle his hair gel or something. Utterly baffling, and if that was going to be the way things shook out he should've done it neither time or both. Speaking of utterly baffling, Ryback was in the back telling a joke. WHY IS HE TALKING SO MUCH NOW?! I don't want my wrecking balls having souls, I want them laying dudes out in two minutes and leaving. And we all know what passes for Stamford Comedy in 2013 (think 2 Broke Girls without all the redeeming attributes of Kat Dennings). In ring, at least, the former Nexian was willing to show a wider arsenal with a 747 and some technical skills. Granted, he will never be my very European mancrush Antonio Cesaro who flies through the air with the DJiest of all Gabriels, but that was as welcome to see as it was to hear Miz on commentary making salient points on how one will be best equipped to survive the Rumble. His being #1 last year and main-eventing Wrestlemania and getting his shot at Cesaro pre-show Sunday all came into play seemingly organically without a big anvil drop, which is what you want out of your commentators.
Speaking of Sunday, did you know it's the Rumble? It was gutsy but brilliant to lead with the '13 version of By The Numbers and good god, th--is tha--that's the Heavy's music! Who knew they could find something current, awesome and not nu-metal? Did I set that up in my sleep or something?
I really hope the rumors of Big Show retiring are overblown. His short, sweet promo backstage promising the PUNCH OF DEATH to any "weak, single-celled amoeba" that dared step in his way was a 75-second thing of glory. (Also, as we all should remember, the only thing that could stop the Big Show longterm is a second trip to the Hall of Pain.)
For as much as I remain befuddled the Usos never have gotten the rocket up their ass I was more than a little pleased to see them outright dominating the number 1 contenders (and probable future Tag Champs) for large portions of the match. Even the ending played into the smart boys underthinking their match, as there was no Terminus, and no CrossRhodes; no, Sandow dove onto the top rope crotching one of them going for the Superfly splash and simply barely got 3 off of that. When's the last time YOU saw a match end without a finisher or off a rollup from a distraction? Marvelous, and hopefully with Rey's injury sidelining ¡Los Luchas! the Usses get this kind of platform on a bigger stage and not just the seven people who watch WWEME.
All that said, Sunday is going to open up a lot of fun questions -- how many people will Ryback eliminate? are we getting a surprise return? Will Ziggler use the Last Man Standing stip as his open door to cash in and become champ? Is it possible that I lose my voice cheering for C.M. Punk? I suppose some 167 hours from now we'll see what the fallout from getting them answered is.
