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| IT'Z GOOD FER BUSINESS!!!!1 Photo Credit: WWE.com |
The Streak Hell in a Cell Match
Undertaker vs. Triple H, Special Guest Referee, Shawn Michaels
How: After weeks of badgering, Triple H finally accepted Taker's challenge after his place in history, vis a vis Shawn Michaels, was called into question.
Heat Check: Last year at WrestleMania,
Something inside The Game changed. He wasn't seen again on WWE television until the night after Money in the Bank, when he came out to let his father-in-law that he loved him (POP!) and that he was being relieved of his duties as Chief Operating Officer, only to be replaced by... Triple H himself. His attentions were diverted into his old buddy Kevin Nash showing up and CM Punk giving him the sassmouth. So, instead of wanting to get another crack at Taker, his mental focus was based on things that were "good for business".
Undertaker, however, had other plans in mind. It wasn't enough to get a fluky victory to preserve his streak. He had to prove that he was deserving of his win over Triple H, so he started to badger him. Hell, even Shawn Michaels got in on the action. With the pressure of his best friend and most recent rival bearing down his neck, Triple H still stood steadfast in the face of the challenge. It would be bad for business, he said. He and Taker were the last of a generation, he claimed, insinuating that everyone else on the roster was a bunch of pussies, which was par for the course since after the walkout in the fall, he claimed that only he and a select few others had wrestling prowess greater than a broom. Either way, he wasn't doing it.
That was, until Undertaker and Michaels both started hemming and hawing about how Trips would never be as good as his former DX buddy. That was the thing that set him over the edge. He accepted the challenge, only with one rider - that it be a Hell in a Cell match. Also, Michaels had some way gotten himself inserted as special guest referee and insinuated that he knew who was going to win. Since then, it's been a lot of the same jaw-jacking going back and forth.
Analysis: What happens when you take a match that was already heavily gimmicked and throw even more bells and whistles onto it? Well, that depends on what you thought of the match last year. I seem to be in the extreme minority of people who didn't like last year's match, as I thought there was too much laying around that started too quickly. People kill indie wrestlers for going too long, but apparently, if two wrestlers are really old, they "deserve" that luxury. Okay, right. The point I'm trying to make here is that it doesn't matter if you're Mr. Touchdown wrestling Kobold or the reanimated corpse of Lou Thesz taking on a Fountain of Youth-rejuvenated Verne Fucking Gagne, be concise about telling your story. If that match's first two-thirds were condensed to the point where the only spot that led to an extended layabout was the destruction of the Cole Mine (which legitimately needed an extended recovery sequence), maybe I'd be on board with it.
So yeah, forgive me if I'm not frothing at the jowls for the rehash this year. I am, however, intrigued at one thing. How the hell are they going to pull off an outdoor Hell in a Cell match without taking a half-hour on either side of it to set up and break down? Obviously, they have to have something in place, and hopefully, it's not a doubleheader bill between Flo-Rida and Machine Gun Kelly. Not that I hate their music (never really heard it to be honest outside that one song Flo-Rida had back a couple years ago), but because wrestling and concerts don't mix. My guess is they have some sort of advanced pulley system in place spanning across the stadium. I mean, these big joints accommodate huge concert sets... I think a suspension system for the Cell is more than doable.
Who Should Win: A year or so ago, I changed my mind about The Streak. It needs to be broken at some point to mean something. Undertaker taking it to his proverbial grave doesn't work because he means so much more to wrestling than being undefeated at WrestleMania. In fact, most people who do get things like The Streak often get them because they're super awesome and people love them, regardless of how many fake wins they get. So in order for it to be a thing that can be used for the health and welfare of the future of WWE, someone has to break it.
That being said? I'd rather get sodomized by the Devil's thorn-studded phallus than advocate Triple H being the one to break it. It's not because I hate him - again, I do, and I make no bones about it - but it's the same reason why Ric Flair or Shawn Michaels or even Kane would be the wrong person to break it. It needs to be someone who can be helped by it going forward as a way to ascend them to the stratosphere. So yeah, Undertaker should win this match, and for the sake of everyone's sanity, he should do it cleanly.
Who Will Win: It'll be Undertaker, and I have the sneaking suspicion it will be despite Shawn Michaels being a shady referee, which will lead to the invariable triple threat match next year in North Jersey. Unless the rumors that I've heard about Triple H/Rock and Cena/Taker being on tap for next year are true, of course.
