Friday, March 16, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Get on my level, tho
Photo Credit:
SAnitY: comes out as a unit
Mossatelli: come out as a unit with a small bit of dissension, but Stun Gun their way into an advantageous position
Center Stagers: Tino Sucks!
Mossatelli: stays in control until the I Know What You Did Last Summer spot
E.Y.: a domecile ablaze
Riddick: breaks up a nearfall
Nikki: lands a Flying Herbody on him off of the apron
SAnitY: Backplex neckbreaker!
Referee: Winners! 

Tommasshole: stomps out sans crutch
Center Stagers: BOO! hold up Johnny Winkyface signs
Ciampa: puts the mic up to his lips
CSers: BOO!  Johnny!  Johnny!  Johnny!
Ciampa: shakes his head, raises the mic again
CSers: BOO!  Johnny Wrestling!  clap clap clapclapclap
Ciampa: shakes his head, yells something off-mic, then lifts his index finger before raising the m
Ciampa: drops the mic
CSers: YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!
Ciampa: rolls out of the ring and walks around
CSers: BOO!  CIAMPA SUCKS!  CIAMPA SUCKS!  WE WANT JOHNNY!  clap clap clapclapclap
Ciampa: stomps up the stairs, looking back towards the ring
CSers: NA NA NA NA etc
Ciampa: shakes his head and leaves 

Lacey Evans: now with 100% more sneering, works over Dakota's bad arm
Dakota Kai: Rollup!
Referee: 3!
Shayna Baszler's Music: brings out
Shayna Baszler: comes to the ring and backs the woman she injured into a corner
Ember Moon's Music: brings out
Ember Moon: You really want to do this again?  Because with one arm or two, you started this, but I'll end it in New Orleans.
Both: start whaling on each other
Referees: come out to seperate them
CSers: Let them fight!  Let them fight!
Shayna: breaks free and lays Ember out
Ember: dodges another attack and goes up for the Eclipse
Shayna: cuts it off and applies a kimura
Dakota: REVENGE!  Yakuza kicks Shayna
Ember: One armed Eclipse!  hits it, smack talks Shayna and lets out a war goddess cry

Street Profits: come out, Montez dances on the table a little bit
Nigel McGuinness: "dances"
Heavy Machinery: come out to a slightly smaller pop
Otis: starts the match and trucks Montez 
Montez: takes a sip
Otis: Gimme summa dat!
Montez: carefully slides out to him and offers it
CSers: Drink!
Otis: has some
CSers: YAY!
Otis: polishes it off, starts dancing and throws the cup up, then lays Ford out again
Tucker: tags in and throws some dropkicks, taking out Dawk for a bit before bearhugging Ford
Montez: gets free and tags out
Dawkins: Spinning back elbow!  Spinning Stinger splash!
Tucker: Thesz press!  Avalanche!  Otis!  Let's do this!  tags out Compaccccggghhhh
Ford: low bridged Tucker out when he went for it
Dawkins: counters to a DDT of Otis and tags out
Ford: Frog splash!
Referee: Winners!

Pete Dunne: comes out
CSers: Bruiserweight!  Bruiserweight!
Cole: actually breaks clean early
Dunne: sees the tag champs in his peripheral, then goes out to warn them about trying it
ExDragon: We don't want any trouble.
Cole: stomps on Dunne as he comes in
Dunne: lays him out with a forearm and starts working over the arm with stomps and joint manipulation Penalty Kick!  X-Plex into the apron!  throws Cole in and goes up
ExDragon: get on the apron
Cole: shoves Dunne to the floor
Both: slug away
Dunne: Winner!  Step up Owenzuigiri!  Flying stomp!  Batista Bomb!  Buzzsaw kick!  And now for the Bitt-
Cole: NOOOPE Lungblower!  Bike kick!  Oshigoroshi neckbreaker!  You chump, you have nothing.  forearms
Cole: Owenzuigiri!
Dunne: ENZUI fivearm!
Cole: Superkick your backflip counter!
CSers: NXT!  This is awesome!
Dunne: German suplex!  And now for... oh, FFS — lays out ExDragon
Cole: Superkick!  Last Shot!
Referee: Kickout!
CSers: Fight forever!
Dunne: grabs Cole's injured hand and does something real bad to it
ExDragon: Forget this.  run in for the DQ
the Era: lay out Dunne
Roderick Strong: runs down to the ring and starts throwing hands
the Era: lay him out
Dunne: lays out Cole
BruiserStrong: clear the ring
the Era: grumpily retreat
Dunne: stares at Roddy
Roddy: offers the Hand of Friendship
Dunne: responds with the Shoulder Shot of Slightly Less Annoyed With You Than I Am With Them At This Moment
Mauro: That's probably as close to a sign of respect as Dunne's got in him, so...hooray?

Aleister Black: comes out
Andrade "Cien" Almas: doesn't
Zelina Vega: does
Aleister: ???
Zelina: gets in the ring The Champ isn't here, which is good for you.  He'd destroy you if he was.
Aleister: looks around for the obvious run in, checks under the table
Zelina: Humiliation is going to happen to you in New Orleans, and you have no idea...
Aleister: makes her Talk To The Hand
CSers: give the early 90's Fox sitcom studio audience reaction that deserves
Aleister: finishes searching, having found nothing, moves the table off to the side and sits  At least now we're on the same level.
CSers: see above
Aleister: As you were.

Zelina: You're going to get destroyed and humiliated.  You're going to reap what you sow.  she signs
CSers: Too short!  Woop woop!  Too short!  Woop woop!
Too Short: What's my favorite word?
Key and Peele: suddenly get nervous and start looking around
Aleister: Humiliate me?  Maybe you're just afraid in New Orleans, your boy will come up... short.  ORRR maybe Andrade doesn't measure up in comparison to me.  What I'm trying to say is, you're kinda tiny, Tiny!
Zelina: slaps him
Aleister: smiles and signs the contract, leaves Oh, one more thing, just... one more thing.  I'm surprised.  You're actually out here alone.  That of us.
Zelina: ???
Candice LeRae: Well, look at this.  It's Ass Whoop O'Clock and no daylight's saving you from this.  commences pummelling, culminating in a tornado bulldog that lays Z out
Aleister: chuckles as Candice leaves the ring to cheers, eventually greeting her at the entryway Good work.
CLR: I do nothing else.