Monday, October 1, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

The darkest timeline continues apace (Photo Credit:
Our Esteemed General Manager: comes out
Full Sailors: Regal!  Regal! Regal!
Master Regal: I've been investigating the attack on Aleister Black for a month, and
the Undisputed Era: interrupt him brazenly
Master Regal: gives a small, winsome, nostalgic smile
Some Guy: It's the same thing week after week: you don't do your job and pretend to be Sherlock Holmes.  You should be spending time making sure these kinds of unprovoked attacks don't happen again.  Like the War Raiders!
Roddy Strong: Those stupid cosplay Vikings...
Kyle O'Reilly: I, for one, feel unsafe in this work environment.
Master Regal: I find it interesting you lot are showing up now.
Alex Cole?  Is That It?: (now in the ring with his goons) how DARE you.
Master Regal: chuckles again
ADAM Cole.: Why are the Raiders going unchecked? Or Ricochet, who's been ducking me? And on top of that, Pete Dunne — Pete DUNNE — gets a title shot? So here's the deal: I want my rematch and I want it right freakin' now.
Master Regal: First) you never asked for your rematch Secondarily) You wanted Dunne to soften up Ricochet before your rematch…
Adam Cole: Tread carefully, old man.
Master Regal: You will have to wait on your rematch, since it would be unfair to grant it now, just as it was unfair of you to rob Pete of his shot last week. But you will have your rematch in two weeks.
Adam Cole: is happy
Master Regal: With Pete Dunne in it. In a triple threat match.
Adam Cole: That's my rematch? THAT'S my rematch!?!!?
Master Regal: And as for the War Raiders, that's a worry for three weeks from now, when they'll have their first shot at the NXT World Tag Team Champions. exeunt
the Undisputed Era: have turned into Surrender Cobras
Full Sailors: Thank you, Regal!

Johnny Fa… uh, Gargano: I'm looking forward to my match against Tony Nese next week; actually, I'm excited for the first time in a long time.  When I was saying "I'm sorry" after I lost to Dream, it was for not winning the title, for letting my fans down again.  I went home to get my head right, and stop the whining, crying and complaining.  I'm not going to be Johnny Wrestling just sitting on my couch.
Lacey Evans: I couldn't help but notice Candice separating her professional and personal lives when a good wife and lady would stand by her man.
Candice: starts to go after her
Johnny: Easy, easy, she's not worth it. She's not worth it.

Velveteen Dream: I refuse to talk about Johnny Failure, or a man who attacked the man who isn't here right now.  The Dream is NOT a snitch.  The writing is on the wall, Catherine, so do your job.

Lars Sullivan: comes out
NPC: is doomed
Lars: Crossfaces! Pop up powerslam! Avalanche!  Biels!
EC3: Trouble! lands some dusty, Dusty jabs
Lars: laughs from the ramp, eventually leaves
EC3: mock laughs back
Full Sailors: NX3! NX3! NX3!

Master Regal: While my list of suspects has narrowed considerably, I still need answers.
Nikki Cross (emerging from his office and scaring him a bit): I need to play with Bianca again.  NEED to need to.  I need to, yes.  Bianca.  PLAY.  hee hee hee Bianca play again please.  NEED it, need to play.
Master Regal: I will take it into consideration.
Nikki Cross: oh no i know i know i know oh no i know i know i know wanders off
Master Regal: (ruefully) Nobody knows what Nikki knows.

the Mighty: show up with the Street Profits' cup and chains
Street Profits: don't have those things and as a result are p i s s e d
Shane Thorne: amused, shows off his new hardware
Angelo Dawkins: unamused, punches him very hard in the face once and drops him like third period French
Montez Ford: gets a tag in short order Tope con hilo halfway up the ramp!
Nick Miller: Gotcha!
Montez: Wrong!  leaps from the floor to the apron, Miller goes crashing into the steps
Miller: provides an eventual distraction
Thorne: King sized dropkick!
the Mighty: use that as a springboard to cut the ring into quarters and employ quick tags
Angelo: takes the beating but makes the tag
Montez: Spin heel kick!
Miller: Whip into the post from the apron!
Thorne: King sized dropkick the steps into your leg!
the Mighty: Double Australian legsweep!  Modified figure four!
Montez: clearly pissed, fights out
the Mighty: continue to focus on the leg and make quick tags
Montez: Escape ahhh hell yes, he has landed on the bad wheel
Nick: Figure four jacknife pin!
Referee: Winners!
the Mighty: celebrate on the ramp
the Profits: do not celebrate in the ring 

Vanessa Borne: enters
Kairi Sane: enters but with a pop and hard-earned championship
Borne: puts on Kairi's hat then takes it off and kicks it out of the ring
Kairi: [Ironside theme plays in her eyes]
Vanessa: I'm going to shove you, and I learned how to do a twisting suplex and a cravate, and 
Kairi: Bitch, please.  DDT!  Two handed chops!  Inteceptor!  Sliding K!  I think you know what this is!  hits her with THE Elbow
Referee: Winner!
Shayna Baszler: comes out
Kairi: holds up the belt
Shayna: You should enjoy that belt while you can. I'd take it out on you right now, but I want my rematch so I can take back my title.
Kairi: Ohhhh...Shayna!   Okay.  You can have your Evolution.
Full Sailors: cheer and do the D-Bry chant
Shayna: leaves the ring
Kairi: waits until she's on the apron And I will beat you...again.  holds up the belt and salutes
Shayna: backs up the ramp talking smack the whole time 

Keith Lee: What's next for me?  Championship gold.
Kona Reeves: You're...limitless guy!  Keith... something!  offers handshake
Keith: goes for the shake
Kona: rebuffs him
Keith: is miffed
Kona: tries to big time him
Keith: I know you, too.  You're the man with the finest set of losses in NXT.  So I feel safe in inviting you into the ring for the chance, the opportunity, and the privilege to BASK...IN MY...GLORY.  walks off

#14: laughs and talks to the Big X
Otis Dozovic: trucks him a few times
Ciampa: tries to recover on the outside
Otis: lands some hard forearms
#14: Rabbit forearm!  Headfirst throw into the ramp!  Count him out!
Otis: stirs relatively early in the count
#14: lands more rabbit forearms then goes back in the ring Knee Trmbleer!  Sleeper!
Otis: falls back mid ring to break it up then throws some Kodiak paws Lariat!
#14: Kickout and also bye.
Tucker Knight: Not so fast, buddy.
Otis: Exploder!  Exploder!
#14: rolls out
Otis: Exploder on the floor!
#14: ...that's even worse.
Otis: Elbow drop!
Referee: Kickout!  Hey, stop hiding behind me!
#14: Gotcha.  rakes the eyes and goes for the Devil's Wings
Otis: Power shoulder block to the corner!  Pop up sitout powerbomb!
Referee: Kickout!
Otis: Vader Bomb!
#14: NO!  DDT into the apron!  Another draping DDT back into the ring!  COUNT QUICKLY!
Referee: counts normally Winner!
#14: ends up on his back on the ramp clutching his belt
Tucky: checks on Dozer
#14: manages to recover and hold up his belt at the ramp's apex